Neglect

That is the only word that I can use to describe it. I have been away for so long. I honestly miss blogging. I am just so busy with my family, job, life in general. You name it, it keeps me busy! I will try to do better, I promise.

25 years ago...

Twenty-five years ago this morning my sister D and I had spent the night with my Granny. I remember waking up and laying in my Granny's bed with my sister when the phone rang. I knew who was on the other end and I knew why she was calling. I even told my Granny and sister before my Granny answered. Unfortunately I was right. It was my Mom calling to tell us that my Dad had died early that morning. The cancer had won and my sisters and I were fatherless, my mom was a widow. He was 41.

I have very few memories. I know very little about him. I can only tell my children a little bit about him because that is all I know. I am thinking of sending letters to his sisters asking them to write some stories and send me some pictures of him so that I can piece together his life. I thought once I get all of their stories together I will get my mom to fill in the blank spaces for me and I will compile it into a book for my family. I would like for my children as well as my nieces to know about their grandad.

Today was a sad day for me. I grieved for the loss of my father. I grieved for all the things that I missed out on because I did not have a daddy. I went to the cemetary after work and took an arrangement of flowers, not much else that I can do. I thought the book would be a good tribute for the father that I never really knew.

Did you know???

Did you know that you can actually cough hard enough to break a rib? Well you can, because I did. The babe had a virus a few weeks ago, some horrible strain of something that has been going around. It causes flu-like symptoms, so it has everyone scared. Anywho after a visit to the doctor and swabs and blood tests confirmed it was just a virus. A VERY HORRIBLE VIRUS! Well after the babe had it for a couple of days I got it too. Although I honestly think I felt much worse, maybe it is the 30 year age difference. So after a couple of days of fever, chills, body aches, severely congested head Hubby convinced me to go to the doctor. Well after several tests I was told that it was just a virus, give it 7-10 days and it would be gone. Well 7 days later the sever head congestion was gone, but it had moved into my chest. It was making me cough so bad and so hard that I would literally wet my pants! After a week of coughing this hard my ribs started hurting on the left side. It wasn't a major pain, just felt like maybe a bad bruise. Well everyday the pain was a little worse, until Wednesday night when I could not bend over without crying in pain. I could not cough, or raise my arm above my head. Let's not even talk about sneezing. So yesterday I go back to the doctor, they take x-rays and yes I have a broken rib! So they wrapped me up in this rib belt, which feels a lot like a girdle, gave me some meds and sent me on my way. The doctor told me to just go home and to take today off too, but I just could not do that, so I went back to work yesterday and finished up what I was working on and stayed at home today! I slept until 10:00 this morning, got up ate me a little something, drank my coffee, watched a little T.V., and by 1:30 I was back in bed. I got up around 5 and now I am going to try to find the energy to cook supper. This med makes me very sleepy and honestly I just want to go back to bed, but I feel like such a bum because I have done absolutely nothing all day, but sleep. Happy Friday to me!

I'm back from the abyss

Oh my goodness! Has it really been over a year since my last post? I am so sorry for that. My only excuse is my 3 year old. He keeps me so busy, there is never a dull moment with him around. So much has changed in a year. I have tried to read a few of my favorite blogs, with little success. I feel like I have lost touch with everyone. So I bet you are wondering what has brought me back from the abyss of my life...Well it was actually a concerned blogger that I used to read quite frequently over at the Peanut Gallery. She emailed me today and I felt totally horrible for not writing anything in over a year. There are people that post everyday and some that post multiple times a day, I should at least be good for one post a week! How hard can that be? I am sure most people are probably on Facebook, MySpace, or Twitter. I am on none of the above. I prefer to write anonymously. None of my friends or family know about my blog and I prefer to keep it that way. Then if I want to talk or vent about them, I can and I don't have to worry about hurting their feelings! So what has been happening in the past year? I see that some things in Blogger have changed. I guess blogging is like riding a bike, even though it has been a while, it is all coming back to me now!

Updates on the cast of my life:
The babe is 3 now, he will be 4 in November. He is extremely smart and cute! I have lots of stories to tell about him.

The princess is almost a teenager. She is 2 inches shorter than me and just beautiful! She just started the 8th grade. It is hard to believe how grown up she has gotten.

Hubby is still the love of my life. We will celebrate our 6th anniversary in November! Wow that is a long time.

Granny is doing great at the Nursing Home. She really likes it there. We have had our share of problems since she moved there, but we have gotten everything worked out. I go see her at least once a week. My mom and I are supposed to be taking turns doing her laundry, but Granny told me that she likes it better when I do them because they smell better. She must like the Snuggle fabric softner! I have not told Mom this, I just told her that I really don't mind doing them and it is easier for me to keep up with her clothes if I just do them all!

The rest of my family is about the same, just a year older. I am sure there will be stories to come of them. Anyway, it is great to be posting again and I swear I will try to get out at least one post a week. I really have missed it!

Moving day

Yesterday was moving day. A day that I have dreaded for the past few years, but one that had to come no less. My Granny has moved into a skilled nursing facility, or as most people think of them a nursing home. I am having a really hard time with this move. She has been staying with her nephew and her sister for the past few years, about an hour or so away from her family. Her sister died in May and Granny has gone downhill since then. She has Alzheimers and senile dementia. Those are just the things in her head, she also has osteoarthritis and some other physical ailments. She still knows everyone. The big A has not robbed her of that yet, but it has made her very mean at times and she thinks that everyone is stealing her stuff. At times she seems to have it all together and then there are times she just doesn't. Anyway, she wasgetting aggravated with her nephew and her sister's other children and decided she was ready to come back home and go into the nursing facility.

I have always loved my Granny. When I was little, she was one of my favorite people. I spent nearly every weekend at her house. When I was sick I wanted my Granny. When I was out of school for the summer I was at her house. When my dad died when I was eight, she moved next door to help Mom look after us kids and I moved in with her. She taught me the importance of hard work and the value of a dollar. She also taught me to look for bargains and always shop the clearance racks first. Anything she has ever had, she always said it was mine. I am afterall her favorite. The few years that she spent at her sister's I called her every week and just let her talk and I tried to keep her updated on what was going on with her family.

But being her favorite comes with a price. I got the pleasure of going to pick her up yesterday for the long ride to her new home. I think it helped having the babe with us. He takes the uneasiness out of a lot of situations! I was a nervous wreck yesterday. I did not sleep well Thursday night just anticipating the move. I was off work and had a few errands to run so it was a little after lunchtime when I got there to pick her up. Of course it was raining and extremely windy from that lovely tropical storm Faye. What a wonderful day to be moving! We got to the facility and I met the admissions lady that I have spoken to so much over the past week she knows my voice on the phone. She hugged me when she met me. She knew how this was affecting me. I am sure in her job she deals with this a lot! She took us around and we got to meet Granny's new roommate, a very spry and extremely nice 91 year old lady. She said she was happy to have a roommate and someone to talk to and walk to the dining room with. We had thought about getting Granny a private room, but she has a tendency to get depressed and not come out of her room, so we decided at least with a roommate she would not be alone. After we met her roommate we toured the rest of the facility and met most of the daytime staff. They have a physical therapist, dietician, cosmetologist, and an activities director. Of course they also have RNs and CNAs and a doctor and a PA that are there everyday to check on the patients. Everyone was so nice. She will start her physical therapy sessions on Monday and we are hoping that will help her blood pressure and her feet and legs swelling. They have an aquarium and a huge bird enclosure with about a dozen small birds. There is also a big screened TV in the commons area and we are getting her TV hooked up for her in her room, so she can watch what she wants. It really was not as bad as I had imagined. It has been years since I have visited anyone in a nursing home. My other grandmother was in an assisted living facility and it was a little nicer that where Granny is at, but it also cost a lot more and they do not accept insurance or Medicare. Mom and I got her settled in and put her clothes away and made up her bed. I brought her a quilt from my house and a pillow in a sham to help dress up her bed when she isn't in it. The babe picked out a stuffed elephant for her to put on her bed and sleep with. We got her room all squared away and then we walked her down to the dining room. The do not have a seating chart, but you know how old folks are, they are set in their ways, so after they pick somewhere to sit, that becomes their spot. We asked the dietician where she needed to sit and she was seated at a table with 5 other people. We told her goodbye and left her in the dining room. She told us right before we left that she was fine. At that point it was me that wasn't okay. I did not let her see me cry. I cried all the way back to her room. Mom and I walked out to our cars together and my heart just felt so heavy.

I can reason with myself and tell myself that she is fine and that she is better off there, but a huge part of me feels so guilty for putting her there. There just is not anyone in our family that could deal with her on a daily basis. As much as I love her, I can only take her in small doses. I just cannot take on another person to take care of that would need someone here 24/7 with her. I will have her phone hooked up next week and we will get cable hooked up to her TV. I just want her to be comfortable in her new "home".

What a mess.

We have a major family problem going on now. I was so upset when my sister got pregnant. I have not spoken to her since Christmas. Some people just told me to let sleeping dogs lie, but I just could not stand to even look at her or be around her. Her sweet little angel girl was born on Monday on my sister's birthday. What a birthday present! Only after I went to the hospital to visit did I learn that she and the baby tested positive for drugs. I cannot even begin to express my feelings on the matter. I am working on it, but I am not quite there yet. My mom and oldest sister have the baby for the time being. I am just taking everything one day at a time and watching how this whole situation is going to unfold. Personally I think she needs to be in jail with the baby's daddy and the baby needs to go to a family that will love it and that actually want a baby. I will update later as things unfold. Please just keep my family in your thoughts and prayers as we all deal with this mess.

Sickness

I am so sleepy today. The babe has some sort of cold or allergy thing going on and it is making all of us just miserable. Anytime has has nasal drainage it gags him and makes him throw up. Then he starts crying, which only worsens the situation. I think I slept for maybe 3 hours last night, in 1 hour increments of course. I got the most sleep sitting on the living room floor holding the babe in my lap propped up on tons of pillows. It was not comfy at all, but at least I was able to close my eyes. He has started sneezing this morning which is good because it is getting the gunk out of his head. Everytime he sneezes he yells, "YUCK, NASTY!" Unfortunately for everyone else in our house when the sun came up this morning my sweet little sick boy felt it was the perfect time to start his day, since he hasn't been able to sleep anyway. I think I will wait until Hubby gets up and quietly sneak off to the bedroom for a nice long nap. We had planned to take the babe to see Wall-e today, but we will just have to wait and see how he is feeling later. I know right now he seems okay, but who knows in a few hours how he will be feeling. I am sure just like everything else, this too shall pass.