A dawg-gone good time

We had so much fun Saturday at the game. It was awesome! We won 34-0! I really don't care anything about football, but I like to people watch and let me tell you there were so many people there, it wasn't hard to do. Hubby and I had a good time just talking and holding hands on the LONG car ride there and back. It was great for us to just be us, with no one else to worry about. I think it was really a good thing for us as a couple. We need to make more more time for each other!

I did miss my little punkin' though. I almost cried a few times when we saw other little boys, but I contained myself. We called after the game and he was fine, he was napping. We stopped and got a quick bite to eat and headed home. He was so excited when he saw us. He just squealed and flailed his arms and legs around. I would say that a good time was had by all.

Excited, yet not so much

Hubby called me a few minutes ago and said that has a dilema. He has tickets to the UGA football game tomorrow, 2 tickets, that his boss game him. We don't have our daughter this weekend, so how fun that hubby and I can go to a college football game. Our daughter is cheering this season and her game is at 11am, the Georgia game is at 1 and we are at least 2 hours away from the stadium. Then there is the issue of the babe. Do we take him to a loud college football game in the blazing hot Georgia sun in the middle of the day or do we try to find someone to keep him and risk me having a nervous breakdown being so far away from him and away from him for so long. What would you do? The good mom part of me says to forgo the football game with the hubby and let him find someone else to go. The good wife part of me says to go to the football game with your hubby, you have always wanted to go to one of the games and you may not get the chance again anytime soon. My head is spinning with anxiety, really it is. I want to go to the game, I do not want to leave my baby all day and be so far away from him. I could take him and risk him getting sunburned and no place to nap, but that would not be good for him or me either. Oh the stress of it all!

I called my mom and she can come and keep the babe for us at our house. She mentioned some things that she needed to do tomorrow at her house and said it would be nice if she could keep him there, but that is out of the question. I made up my mind long before the babe was born that he would NOT stay at her house. It is nothing to do with her, it is a lot of things that I do not want to go into today, but I don't want my child there without me or my hubby. So I told her that I would feel better if she kept him at our house because he is more comfortable there, his toys, crib, movies, food, everything he has is at our house.

Unless I just completely break down before tomorrow I will be at the Georgia Bulldogs football game. GO DAWGS! SIC 'EM!

**update on this post: My mom called and said that my step-dad needed to do some work on her car if she could just meet us somewhere and get the babe and take him to her house until my step-dad was finished with her car, like for about 4 or 5 hours. I told her to let me consult the hubby and see what he said. I called the hubby crying, why was I crying? Who the hell knows, anyway I was crying. So hubby called his mom she said of course she would love to keep him, so we are still going to the game, but my MIL is keeping my little one instead of my mom. I had to call my mom and lie to her and tell her that we were just gonna take the babe to the game. Telling her the truth I think would really hurt her feelings and I am not ready for that yet. So everything worked out and no-one got their feelings hurt.

Swallowing my pride, hhhmmmm doesn't taste so bad after all!

I am such an idiot (amazing isn't it?). I normally have a "cushion" in my checkbook, my overdraft protection if you will. You see when I spend money out of my checking account I round it up to the next dollar when I write it down. (If the purchase is $8.69, I write down $9.00.) After a couple of months, there is a cushion there. Anyway I have gotten my cushion up to like more than $200.00. YAY for me.

Anyway I took $100.00 of that money last week and got started on Christmas and birthday shopping for my kids. This week a few other things have come up and I have been falsely thinking that I had plenty of money. I had to take the babe to the doctor Tuesday, which was more money. Then I had to go and pick up his pictures (one of them was in my last post), which was more money that I had not budgeted for. Anywho when I balanced my checkbook yesterday I realized that my account was a little short. So I sat here trying to think of how I could get some money in my account before anything bounced. I write that like I was calm, I in fact was not calm. I was trying not to freak out and call my hubby because then I would never hear the end of it from him. I called a co-worker and asked about something that happened at lunch and with out going into all the details here, told her that I had left my last 2 dollars as the tip. She asked me if I needed money and at first I said no, but then I swallowed my pride and told her that if I could just borrow a little money until Friday that would really help me. So she wrote me a check and I got someone to go to the bank for me and deposit it. SHE SAVED MY ASS!

I went online a few minutes ago to make sure that I had enough money to cover everything and lo and behold they have not credited that check in my account yet. SO I FREAKED OUT! My house payment has not cleared the bank yet, but the check has been posted at the mortgage company 2 days ago. Of course without the "loan" from my co-worker there is not enough money in my account to cover the mortgage payment. Now I am not short by much, just $5.00. Anyway tomorrow is payday and my boss is a wonderful person, so I called him up crying and asked him if there was anyway that I could get my check today before the bank closes because I have SCREWED UP! He asks me how much I need and I told him that I wasn't off by much, but if I did not get something in there my mortgage payment would bounce. DO YOU KNOW HOW EMBARRASSING IT IS TO ASK YOUR BOSS FOR YOUR PAYCHECK EARLY? Okay if you don't, just let me tell you, it is not fun. I am a very proud person and swallowing that pride to ask anyone for any help is so very hard for me, but I did that rather than tell the hubby that I screwed up my checkbook again. Yeah this is not the first time, but it is the first time in a long time that I have made a money mistake. I would also rather swallow my pride and ask for help than to pay the bank a freakin' $30.00 service charge for the NSF.

It is all taken care of now, my wonderful boss even took the check to the bank for me and deposited it. I tell you I love that man. I have the best boss and one of the best co-workers ever!

Fever-ish

It has been a miserable week. My sweet angel boy has had a fever since Monday, no other symptoms, just a fever. It has been hovering around 100-101.5. I actually took him to the doctor on Tuesday and they did some blood work and it is not a bacterial infection or earache, so no antibiotics, just Tylenol and plenty of fluids and it will pass. Personally I think it is the teething, but you know the doctors tell you that teething does not cause a fever. That is all fine and dandy, but when will it pass? I don't think I can take another night of him sleeping with hubby and I. He will not sleep in his bed, as soon as I lay him down he pops back up and starts screaming and crying. I CAN NOT TAKE THE SCREAMING AND CRYING! He screamed and cried for nearly 2 1/2 hours Tuesday night before I finally just put him in our bed. A few minutes later he was asleep. Although he kept waking about every hour and crying out, he would usually go right back to sleep. It made for a really good nights sleep for me and the hubby. He slept with us last night too. I woke up at one point in the night clinging to the edge of the bed. If I would have rolled over I would have fallen into the floor. I know having a fever is miserable, but I need some sleep. When he is awake he just wants to be held or if he does get down, you need to be close to him so that in 2 minutes you can pick him back up. It makes getting ready for work a real fun time.

Then there is the Mommy guilt, you know that I am leaving him when he is sick to come to work. There is nothing I can do for him that my mother-in-law can't do, except for breastfeed him and I will be there at lunch to do that. I think coming to work is saving my sanity this week. I don't know if I could endure a whole day of the whining. Is that bad? Does it make me a bad parent? Part of me wants to be right there holding him and snuggling him, but he does not really want to be snuggled and he does not want to sleep, he wants to whine and pull my hair and try to take my glasses off my face. He wants all of the things that he cannot have when he does get down and as soon as you tell him no he just starts crying because he does not feel good. It is a vicious cycle. I hope he is feeling better soon so we can all get a good night's sleep.

8 things about me

I was tagged, so here it goes, 8 Things that you may not know about me.

1. I hate my hair. I always have, no matter how much I love it when I first get a new 'do, I always end up hating it. It isn't the style, it is just my hair.
2. I never graduated from college. I know this one is hard to believe, especially if you read me regularly. I know you all thought I was an English teacher or something, but I am not. I did go to college for a long time, but I never made up my mind about what I wanted to be when I grew up, so I never finished.
3. I opted for the c-section when it was offered to me rather than inducing labor. I had a really big fear of labor and delivery. At least with a c-section I knew what to expect.
4. I once dated a cop. Well he was on the drug task force. He turned out to be a big old lying jerk. That is a post for another day.
5. I helped the repo man find my sister's car when she was behind making payments. I made $100.00 on that deal!
6. I have a huge fear of turning into traffic. I am always afraid that I am going to get hit or that my car is going to stall. So I sit and wait until nothing is coming or the oncoming traffic is like a mile from me. In my head I am telling myself to go, but my body just will not cooperate.
7. I like visiting big cities, but I do not want to live in one.
8. My pantry looks like a grocery store and so does my deep freezer. I stockpile the things that we use regularly. We will never run out of paper towels, toilet paper, pasta, babyfood or diapers, along with a few other things.

Okay there they are, things that you may not know about me. If anyone wants to play along, just leave me a comment so I can check out your list.

A moment of silence

Today I am taking a moment of silence to remember all of the people and their families that were lost 5 short years ago. As a nation we lost so much that day. May we never forget those that we lost. I will be back tomorrow with a new post.

To all of my friends...

Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship.

1. When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.

2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3. When you smile -- I will know you finally got laid.

4. When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get.

5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.

6. When you are confused -- I will use little words.

7. When you are sick -- Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want to catch whatever you have.

8. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.

This is my oath..... I pledge it to the end. "Why?" you may ask; because you are my "friend".

Friendship is like peeing your pants, everyone can see it, but only you can feel the true warmth.

Remember....when life hands you Lemons, ask for tequila and salt and call me over !!!!!

**Someone emailed this to me today and I thought it was funny so I thought I would share!

Weekend success

I had a really good weekend. Although I did not get much rest, I got a lot accomplished, maybe I can rest next weekend!

I cleaned my house from top to bottom. I worked on it a good bit Saturday and amazingly got most of the things accomplished before my hubby's birthday party. The party was fun, the kids enjoyed it, that is what really counts. The cake was yummy and so was the food that I cooked for supper!

I went to yard sales with my daughter EARLY Saturday morning. It started raining before we got to the first one, but we went on anyway and I am so glad that we did. We had some good girl bonding time and I got a few really good things. The thing that I am most proud of is this chair:

It is a little rocking chair for my little one. This isn't the fabric on the one that I got, but it is close. It matches his nursery and I only paid $10.00 for it. It is in perfect condition, no tears or stains. He sat in it a few minutes on Saturday and watched T.V. It is so cute. I will post some pics of him in it as soon as I take them.

Having an extra day this weekend was awesome. I had an extra day to spend with my hubby and babe. I took the babe on a walk yesterday and when he took his first nap, hubby and I took that opportunity to have some "ALONE" time. It was much needed and we both enjoyed it. Then when he took his second nap we were able to put our washing machine in the house and take out the one that keeps ruining my laundry. The one that we took out works great, but every so often it will put grease on something in the load. Like for instance my favorite khaki skirt that it ruined last week. After it ruined my skirt I went on laundry strike until we could get the other washer in. So I am officially off of laundry strike. I have done about 4 loads of laundry so far and I have at least that much left to do. I hope to have it caught up by the weekend.

Anyway, it was a good weekend. Hope yours was!

**Side note: I am extremely upset about the death of the Crocodile Hunter. RIP!

Stress Full

Finally Friday! WHOO HOO! Can I get an AMEN? I woke up with a positive attitude today, determined that today would in fact be a good day. Why is it when I make that declaration that everyone tries their best to prove me wrong. Is it Murphy's Law? Well who is this Murphy and why do I have to abide by his laws? Will I get arrested if I decide that his laws are not for me?

So I got up on time this morning, left my house in enough time to drop off the babe and get to work without having to speed. I had doughnut holes and coffee for the drive and I got to the office in plenty of time. When I got in my office a co-worker came in with a plant and a card and sat them on my desk and told me to read the card and then get rid of it. Strange, but okay. So I sat my plant on my desk and opened my card, it was very funny, but if another co-worker saw it, it would cause a big stink and I just ain't into all that, so I promptly put the card in my purse.

That was a good way to start off the day at work! Today is pay-day, another good way to start off a day, getting paid. I ran to the bank on my morning break. It normally only takes me about 10 minutes to get to the bank and back, so I thought that I could probably make it to the Krystal's around the corner from the bank and then eat my food while in the drive-thru at the bank. Sounds like a good plan doesn't it? I thought so too. So I whipped into the Krystal and there were a few cars in the drive-thru so I figured it would be faster to go inside. BIG MISTAKE! There were a few people standing around waiting to get their food, which is never a good sign. The girl takes my order and I move down the counter to join all the other waiting people. About 10 minutes later I leave with my food. HOW RIDICULOUS IS THAT? It was not busy, it wasn't even lunchtime yet, it was 11am for pete's sake! They have the WORST customer service and they are the slowest place on earth. I think they should be declassified as a fast food restaurant. On top of all of that their prices have gone WAY up. I spent nearly 5 bucks for 2 little chili dogs and a frozen coke. That will be my last time doing that.

I leave there and head on over to the bank. PEOPLE ARE WAITING IN THE DRIVE-THRU. This bank hardly ever has people waiting in the drive-thru, so I pick a lane and wait. Of course the other lane clears out faster, so I back up and move over there. It took them 5 minutes to process my deposit. Now granted I make SO MUCH MONEY that it should take them a long time to process my deposit, but 5 minutes, I don't think so. My bank has the computer screen thing now instead of the big window so you can't really see the employees goofing off anymore and they are not forced to look at your irritated face while you tap your finger on your watch. Anyway I was so frazzled by the time I got back to the office I just wanted to scream. In all it took me nearly 30 minutes to do something that should have only taken 15. I only get a 15 minute break, I am glad that my boss didn't notice.

Then as I am leaving to go see my baby for lunch and I am waiting at the red light the car next to me just takes off and runs it. WHERE ARE COPS WHEN YOU NEED THEM? Oh yeah they are sitting in the neighborhoods to catch lawbreakers like me that run a stop sign when NO OTHER CAR IS WITHIN 5 MILES OF ME! That is where they are.

My day is only halfway over. I really hope that the second half is as good as the first.

On to better, yet equally stressful things, like the 3 day weekend. YAY for Monday holidays. I have so much to do this weekend. We are having a party for my hubby's birthday tomorrow evening. I use the word party very loosely. I am cooking dinner and we will have cake and ice cream for us and his mom and sister. Doesn't sound like much of a party does it? He never wants any big celebration for his birthday, so we just keep it simple. We will have balloons and candles though and a carrot cake. MMMMMMMMMMMMMM! It will be fun. Only problem is that I don't have him one thing yet for his birthday, which means that I have to shop tonight. Oh what fun. So I am meeting him and my daughter for chinese food and then we will go shopping. I am really hoping that hubby will take the babe home so I don't have to try to entertain him while looking for gifts.

My daughter asked me last weekend if we could go to yard sales tomorrow, and of course I told her that would be fun. We rarely ever do anything anymore just the two of us. The babe takes so much of my time and energy. Before he was born she got all of our undivided attention, we played Barbies and Polly Pockets and games for hours on end, but now I have to chase the babe and keep him from putting things into the air conditioner vents and the VCR and from eating the dog's food and turning over the water bowl, well you get the idea, not much time for playing these days. Anyway I am excited, not about getting up at the crack of dawn, but about spending quality time with my other child. The child that I only get to see every other day and have to spend the night with us every other weekend. So I got online this morning and looked up addresses for yard sales in our area and plotted out a plan of attack. If you are going to yard sales you have to have a plan of action. Maybe between the yard sales and the party I can get a nap. It probably won't happen though because before my in-laws come to my house I need to clean, it is such a mess. I may give everyone chores and make it a fun thing, you know like a game. Isn't there a game called "HELP MOM CLEAN THE HOUSE OR HEAR ME BITCH ABOUT IT THE REST OF THE DAY", no, well there should be. It would be much more fun than 'Don't Wake Daddy". Why does Daddy need to sleep anyway, it isn't like he was up all night with the baby and still managed to get the house cleaned, laundry done, and groceries bought. No Daddy was tucked snuggly into bed while Mommy did all of that. I digress.

Hope everyone has a stress-free, restful 3 day weekend, I know I will (in my dreams anyway)!

It is that time again

Yes it is that time again. Hubby and I have been talking about visiting churches. We really need to be back in church. I enjoyed when we went to church. We stopped going because the Rector that we loved so much left and the one that they replaced him with is taking the church in a direction that we just were not sure was for us, also we moved to a different town about 30 minutes away. We really need to find a church closer to home. When we went to the church we were active in a few things, like the weekend lunch program. It was my favorite volunteer activity. I was a co-captain of a team with a wonderful guy named Dave. We prepared lunch on a Saturday and Sunday for whoeve wanted to come and eat. Usually it was homeless people, sometimes it was people down on their luck or people just passing through town. Anyway I got pregnant around the same time that Dave accepted a job out of state and so we gave up our lunch team and that was last year and I have not been involved in anything other than my family since then. We did visit a few churches while I was pregnant, and we went to one that we really liked, well what we saw of it we liked. I sort of had a little episode and left before the sermon was even preached. Anyway, I have decided to dig up that story for you. It is really very funny now, it wasn't at the time. Here it goes, from May 31, 2005 post:

Everyday with me is like a new adventure. You just never know what to expect. Hubby and I have discussed finding a church to start attending since we moved a year and a half ago. We visited one and hated it, and have not attempted to visit another one until last Sunday. We ironed our clothes on Saturday night and had everything ready for Sunday morning. We got up and got dressed and I must admit, we do clean up nicely! We got there and things were going fine, the church seemed nice enough. We sung a few songs, listened to a few announcements. Things were going great, and then the pastor got up and announced that it was a baptism service. Awe how wonderful, someone is going to be baptized. The family goes up there and it isn't just someone, it is a baby and a child of maybe about 3 or 4. So the pastor goes on to ask the questions that they ask and I am tearing up. Yeah hormones going full blast, not a good thing! So after the pastor is done he brings the children down the aisle of the church to show them to the congregation. Well seeing that sweet baby was just more than I could handle. All these things are going through my mind, pregnancy does that to you. It also hit me at that very minute that I am really having a baby. Anywho the pastor gets about 2 rows from us with the baby and I feel it, the real tears are coming. You know you can only silently cry for a little bit before it turns into sobbing. Well it turned into sobbing, one big horrendous noise escaped my body before I could shove my hubby out of the pew and out the door. It was so quiet in the church that you could have heard a pin drop, but instead they heard me sobbing as I ran for the door. We got outside and I think my hubby was in shock, I was still sobbing, I could not catch my breath, I thought I was gonna throw up. Then he starts laughing at me. I eventually calm down and blow my nose and regain my composure, and I started laughing too. We did not go back into the church, we left and got some lunch instead. I think we may try to go back next week, but only if there isn't a baptism on the bulletin. You see I told you never a dull moment with me.

Anyway that was why we didn't go back while I was pregnant. Then after the baby came we were reluctant to put him in the nursery with people that we didn't know, so we didn't go back. Well he is almost 10 months old now and it is time to try again. I have called the church and left a message for the lady over the nursery to call me back. You know what a worry wart I can be and I have a few questions about the nursery procedure, so as soon as my questions are answered we can begin planning for our return to church. I am excited, maybe it will be this Sunday!

Things I have never done

Here are a few things that I have never done. Some I am proud of, others I would like to do one day. I have never:

• Traveled to a foreign country. I have been to the Bahamas, so maybe I have done this one, but we were on a cruise so I did not have to get a passport or anything.
• Did any kind of illegal drugs. I have never even tried to smoke pot. Can you believe that? If you knew the people that I hung around with in high school or my ex-husband you would think that I was lying, but I am not. No drugs for me. I barely take any meds now. I still have pain meds left from my c-section last year!
• Flown on an airplane or flown on anything else for that matter. I would like to fly one day, but I am terrified!
• Swam naked in the ocean.
• went Skydiving which you probably figured since part of skydiving is flying in a plane. I think I would like to do this, one day, maybe.
• Been to a Rock n' Roll concert. I have been to country music concerts and the last concert I went to was Jim Brickman and he was awesome, but I would love to go see Aerosmith or the Rolling Stones or somebody like that.
• Had a big church wedding. The first time was at the court house, the second time was on top of a boat on a river in Tennessee.
• Been arrested. Yeah it is hard to believe sometimes.
• Told my hubby about this blog. I keep thinking that I will tell him, but I am afraid that he will be mad because I have had it nearly 2 years and I still haven't told him.

Anyway after doing all of those it seems like I am a boring person, but I swear I'm not. Please don't get offended by this list or think that I am trying to be a little miss goodie two shoes or anything, because I am not. I was just thinking about this today and I thought I would share.

Dear readers:

I don't want to write to Dear Abby with my questions, so I thought I would ask for your help with these problems.

1. Nipple erection- How do you deal with it? It seems to be worse since I started breastfeeding. It is embarrassing to me to walk around with my high beams on all day, but I don't know how to calm them down. Any ideas???
2. What do you say when people tell you that you have lost weight, not so much complimenting, but just making the statement that whoa you have lost weight? Indeed I have lost weight, not because I was really trying or anything, but hey the weight is gone and you won't hear me complain. Anyway people are always commenting on my weight loss and I really don't know what to say. Should I say something like, "I know I was such a fat ass before."
3. How do you handle compliments on yourself and your children? I usually just blush and say thank you, uncomfortably.
4. What do you do when people honk their horns at you? Is it okay to flip them the middle finger and give them a nast look?

You see I need your help dear readers for these are problems that I am dealing with a LOT lately and I don't know how to deal with them. Thank you in advance for any words of wisdom that you can give me.

Archiving it

Do you ever read your own archives? Well I don't normally either, but hey there is some good stuff in there that I had completely forgotten about and some really funny stuff too. I had forgotten that I chronicled all my months of trying to get pregnant there. I guess I felt like my secret would be safe with you all out there in cyberspace. You see hubby and I did not tell anyone in our families that we were trying to get pregnant. I just did not want to have to deal with all the questions, you know the ones. Are you pregnant yet? and so on from there, so we kept it a secret until we were certain that we were pregnant. Anyway it is all in my archives, as well as the history of nearly the past 2 years of my life. So if you are bored and need something to read feel free to read my past post, you might find something you like. If you do leave the date in comments so I can go back and read it too. Thanks for reading me!!!

Complete Randomness

I think today I will use bullets to seperate the complete randmoness. Happy Thursday!

• Maybe the doctor that made me feel like a bad parent was on to something, or on something, who knows. Anyway, we took his advice and after the last bad night that I wrote about (Sunday night), my little one has been sleeping through the night. I am having to wake him up most mornings so I can leave for work. Yeah so maybe he was right and my little one is capable of going more than 5 hours without my booby juice. I am happy to be sleeping all night again, for the first time since my last trimester in pregnancy. It is F A B U L O U S!
• My hubby's grandad is back in the hospital. He got out last Friday. He had a doctors appointment on Tuesday and they told them to take him to the hospital ASAP. He was very swollen, his feet and hands and midsection. Turns out he has congestive heart failure, which was making him swell because of all the IV fluids he received in the hospital. So he is back in the hospital, hopefully he will be home soon. Please keep him in your prayers.
• We went to visit Grandad last night after work and the entrance to the hospital where we parked is the same entrance for the OB part of the hospital. The last time I was there was the morning that my son was born. This time I was pushing him in his stroller, a little more than 9 months later.
• Hubby likes his new job. This is his 3rd week there and things are really going well. We work in the same town now, so he brings me stuff like sweet tea and Frostys. I LOVE IT!
• Hubby's birthday is coming up soon and I don't know what to get him. He knows we don't have a lot of money so that puts me in a bad situation. Anyway, I guess I will just take the kids and let them pick him out a few things.
• Is there a nice way to tell someone that they have body odor? If I had BO I would want someone to tell me, but I don't know how to tell anyone else.
• I love Pandora. This music website is awesome. If you have never heard of it, go there. It is www.pandora.com. Keeps me entertained all day at work.
• I have also registered on our FreeCycle group for my town. I don't know if you have heard of FreeCycle or not. It seems pretty cool. A good way to get rid of things that you don't need and a good way to get something for free that you do need. Thanks K for talking about it the other day. I will be going through my closets this weekend and posting some things. I am so excited! (did the exclamation point give it away?)
• I also found some new cool blogs to read thanks to MissZoot. She has this thing going on now to pimp out blogs that you read. Anyway thanks Zoot I found a few great ones that I had never read before.

I guess that concludes this broadcast of complete randomness. Hope you enjoyed it!

Bittersweet

We went shopping Saturday for a few fall items of clothing for my little boy. We hope that fall will be here before we know it, bringing with it cool nights and comfortable days. As I was searching the racks for clothing in his size it hit me, no more cute little footed sleep 'n play outfits for him this fall. No more little one piece rompers. None of the cute little outfits that make him look well like a baby. No he is a big boy now and we have to get him pants and shirts and things that look like a big boy and not my little baby anymore. I was trying not to cry as I picked him out a pair of jeans, a pair of khakis and 2 pairs of overalls. My hubby walked over and was browsing through the rack with me and I was trying to tell him that I hate the bigger size clothes and I got all choked up. I hate to cry over such crazy stuff.

When I got him ready for bed Saturday and he was finished nursing and I sat with him in my lap snuggled up close to my body, his head resting on my chest and my cheek against his forehead, I prayed for time to stop, just for a minute, just so I could enjoy this moment in the quiet and darkness with my little baby. I held him for what seemed like an eternity and cried. I closed my eyes and breathed him in. I was trying to memorize his smell and his breathing and the little noises that he makes when he is so relaxed and asleep. I have to steal these moments when he is asleep because when he is awake he is in constant motion and does not want to snuggle up and just be my sweet little baby boy. There is an entire world to explore.

Then Sunday as we were playing with his Drop 'n Roar dinosaur he finally mastered the skill of dropping the balls in the holes and making the lights and music play. I just sat back and my hubby and I watched him in amazement. It seems like everyday he has mastered a new skill or learned some new thing. He can now wave, mostly random, but hey the wave is the wave. He can clap and he gives kisses. He crawls faster than any baby I have ever seen. He pulls up on everything and even stands up on his own in the middle of the floor. He has not taken his first steps yet, but they are just around the corner.

The joys of watching your child grow up can be so bittersweet.
**Note the blanket under him. That is his blankie and we take blankie everywhere. He even cralws around with it. He is attached to his blankie. My hubby and I both had blankies as children so I guess the apple does not fall far from the tree on that one. He is my little Linus!

We are bad parents!

Okay it is official, my hubby and I are bad parents. Friday was my sweet little boy's 9 month well baby check-up. He weighs 20 lbs 7 ozs and he is 30" tall. Yes he is a big boy. At his doctors visit I discussed with the pediatrician that he still isn't sleeping through the night. After examining the boy, he said there was no physical reason why he isn't sleeping through the night. He said it was developmental. A nice way to say that we have not done our jobs as parents and let him figure out how to get himself back to sleep. I asked him if it could be the teething, he said it was doubtful, but if we wanted to blame it on that we could use that excuse until he was about 2 1/2. Yeah the pediatrician seemed to be in an ill mood Friday, he is usually very nice and patient. He really made me feel bad. He said we need to do the cry and wait thing. You know when he wakes up turn down the monitor and let him cry for 10 minutes the first night and then 15 the second night and so on until either he cries the rest of the night or he realizes that we are not coming to comfort him and he goes back to sleep. I told him I did not know if we could do that or not and he said we could do whatever we wanted that it was not his sleep getting disrupted.

So, we are up to 15 minutes now. I guess tonight it will be 20 minutes. Friday and Saturday night went fine, he woke up once each night and we waited and he easily went back to sleep after I nursed him. Last night was a different story, he just could not settle himself back down and go back to sleep. I was up with him from 12:30 am until nearly 3 am. I picked him up and tried rocking him at first, he calmed down and got very still, but would not go to sleep. So I tried to put him back in his crib, MISTAKE! He screamed his head off. I gave him his pacifier and blankie and told him to go night-night. I went back to my room and turned down the monitor. I lay there for a few minutes while he screamed his head off. Of course I could not go to sleep either knowing that he was crying. So I went back in there, this time determined not to pick him up, but to sit with him and maybe he would go to sleep knowing that I was there. I stood by his crib and turned on his aquarium thing and he looked at me and finally closed his eyes. I tiptoed out of the room and crawled back into my bed. 15 minutes later he was crying again. So I waited and waited.

Finaly I went in his room and he was sitting there in the middle of his crib, just wailing. I gave him a pacifier and his blankie and once again turned on the aquarium and stood by his bed. Well, my back was aching and my feet were too, so I sat in the floor by his crib and rested my head on its bars. He lay there for a few minutes and then he was up. He reached out of the crib and grabbed my face and stood up and jumped in the bed a few times. I kept quietly telling him it was time to go to night-night. He would sit down and lean over and lay his head down and still not go to sleep. So at around 2, I laid him down and gave him his blankie and I went back to my bed. I told hubby that he was just going to have to cry it out because I HAD to get some sleep. So after about 20 minutes I could not take it anymore and I got my pillow and headed to the sofa. I thought I would go in there every few minutes and lay him back down and tell him to go night-night. That would eventually work right? Yeah it did after about 3 times. I was finally able to get back in my bed about 3 and he slept until a little after 6. I nursed him and he went back to sleep until about 7:15.

I am trying to cut out the middle of the night breastfeeding. I know that is one reason that he keeps waking up. The doctor assured me that he is not hungry and that he should easily be able to go the 10 hours or so at night without breastfeeding. Anyway so officially I am a bad parent. I just can't stand for my child to cry, and apparently my child knows that. Maybe the good doctors advice on the wait and cry thing will work and I will be getting like 8 hours of sleep real soon. I will let you know.

Request to my co-workers

I can do this because none of them read this or even know what a blog is for that matter! Here are a few things that I wish I could say to them, but for obvious reasons I can't.

1. When you hover to pee, and I know who you are, PLEASE WIPE YOUR URINE OFF THE FREAKIN' SEAT. Nobody and I do mean nobody wants to sit in your piss. It is fine if you have a toilet seat phobia, although we other co-workers are the only ones using our restroom and our toilets do get cleaned regularly, yes even the toilet seats, by yours truly. Anyway PLEASE for the sake of everyone else either hold it or realize what a nasty mess you are making and clean it up. (This co-worker is also the first to point a finger at anyone else doing anything "nasty" or leaving a mess.)
2. When you heat something up in the microwave, DO NOT WALK AWAY FROM IT. I repeat, DO NOT WALK AWAY FROM IT. You are always burning something up in there and it makes the entire office smell for days. When whatever you are heating up gets all over the inside of the microwave, please wipe it out. DISGUSTING!
3. If you brush your hair in the bathroom for the love of all that is holy and good in this world, please get your hair off the sink. I cannot stand for there to be hair on the bathroom sink or floor for that matter.
4. Does your nose not work? Are you having sinus problems perhaps? Those shoes that you wear all the time make your feet smell like a pissed off skunk. They are funking the place up and I just want to vomit when I get close to you.
5. STOP CALLING ME TO TELL ME SHIT THAT I DO NOT CARE ABOUT. Just because I work with you, I don't want to know about EVERYTHING in your life. I am sorry that you have a yeast infection or whatever is making your private regions itch, but honestly I don't care.
6. If you see something somewhere that needs to be wiped off or looks dirty, take 2 seconds of your precious time and do it! Are you too good to pitch in and make our workplace a little cleaner or am I the only one who gives a damn?
7. The reason that you can't get anything done is because you spend entirely too much time on personal phone calls. Yeah, so don't complain at the end of the month when you have not met your goal. I bet if you would spend less time on the phone telling your family what you are doing after work and more time making business calls, you would be a lot closer to your goal. Just a suggestion.

That is all that I would like to tell them right now. Maybe it will make me feel better about them at least I have gotten it out of my system.

Spoiled Rotten

Yeah that's me. I am sitting at my desk eating a Vanilla Frosty from Wendy's. Why am I doing that you wonder. Well because hubby called to ask me where he should go for lunch and I told him that Wendy's would be good because they have a new Vanilla Frosty and it is CHEAP! Well he doesn't eat a lot of ice cream, so he tells me that he doesn't want one, but he wonders if I would like one. I of course tell him no I don't want one, I was just letting him know that they have them. So a few minutes ago he calls me to tell me to come out the door and he will be there with my Vanilla Frosty. YAY! I love that man because he does sometimes spoil me and it is grrreatttttttt! As he handed me the frosty and I smiled this HUGE smile, he told me that I was so spoiled! Oh well, it is all his fault.

The Pastor's Ass

The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won. The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in another race , and it won again. The local paper read: ......
PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT.

The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the pastor not to enter the donkey in another race. The next day, the local paper headline read: .....
BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR'S ASS.

This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the pastor to get rid of the donkey. The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent. The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the next day: .....
NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN.

The Bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she would have to get rid o f the donkey, so she sold it to a far mere for $10. The next day the paper read: .....
NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.

This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild. The next day the headlines read: .....
NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE.

Alas, the Bishop was buried the next day.

MORAL OF THE STORY?
Being concerned about public opinion can bring you much grief and misery and even shorten your life. So, be yourself and enjoy life ... stop worrying about everyone else's ass and you'll live longer and be a lot happier!

I thought we could all use this today!

Sleep, sleep, where art thou?

Yes, I know I have posted about it so many times, I have lost count. I miss my sleep so much that I have had a headache for 2 weeks. My little boy is not a good sleeper. When he wakes up he wants someone to hold him and comfort him and rock him until he goes back to sleep. That is our routine every night. He goes to sleep around 8:30 or 9 and he usually awakens anytime from 1:30 until around 3 or 3:30. Then after he is fast asleep and so am I he wakes up again at around 5 or 5:30. Last night he went to sleep at 9, woke up at 1:30, 3:30, 5:30 and he did not go back to sleep until our drive to my MIL's. You see this is really wearing me out. I only get about maybe 3 continuous hours of sleep, because I have to get up for work at around 6.

He does this even on the weekends, he is awake every morning at least by 7, which would not be so bad if he had not been awake so much during the night. I have tried numerous things to get him to sleep longer and a few months ago he actually did. I am sure that I posted about it, I wanted to shout it from the roof tops. Yes just a few short months ago he would sleep for around 7 or 8 hours at a time, wake up, nurse and fall fast asleep for another few hours. Now, not a chance in hell. Although I must admit that this sleep pattern is better than a few weeks ago when he refused to be put down in his crib to sleep. Yeah that was fun! Co-sleeping is not for me. So we got over that hurdle, he now sleeps with his door open and a light on in the bathroom across the hall. I thought maybe he was afraid of the dark. I am afraid of the dark, he could be too. Well that was fine for a night or 2 and now we are back where we started. I thought maybe it was the teething, but he now has 4 teeth and I don't think we are due anymore teeth for a month or so.

SO I ASK YOU SWEET LITTLE BABY BOY OF MINE, WHAT IN THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM? ARE YOU TRYING TO DRIVE ME INSANE? It is so frustrating, if something is wrong he can't tell me what it is. So what do you do? I have tried Mylicon for gas, Teething tablets for teething pain, Tylenol for what-ever else it could be. Nothing has worked. Am I going to have to just let him cry it out? I think that will truly drive me the remainder of the distance to insane. I can not stand to hear him cry! Have I failed miserably in teaching him how to self soothe and get himself back to sleep? Do I suck as a parent?

We go to the doctor on Friday for his 9 month well-baby check-up, so I will see what he says. Maybe something is really wrong with him, but he does not have a fever or anything so how do you know? Anyway, if anyone finds my missing sleep please send it to me, I need it desperately.

**Also if you will, please pray for my hubby's grandfather, he is in his late 80s and has to have his gall bladder removed today. Please pray that everything goes smoothly. I will update as soon as I know something.

***UPDATE: As of last night Grandpa was doing well. They were able to remove the gallbladder laparoscopically (SP?) and he was off the respirator last night. Hopefully he will recover quickly from this. Thank you for all your prayers and thoughts.

I know I need to post something good today. I need to just sit down and come up with the most brilliant post ever written, but I just don't have the focus today to do that. I had a rather lengthy conversation with my Mom Wednesday about my 2 middle sisters. I wrote about one of the sisters last week and I don't think I have ever written about the other one, she is really not worth the time or energy. Anyway, Mom was telling me all this CRAP that is going on in their lives, which they have brought on themselves. I in no way feel sorry for them, I wish my mom would just cut them off and only see them when she has to. I know that isn't going to happen because after all she carried them for 9 months and gave birth to them and raised them, so she cannot separate herself from them. They are going to be the reason my mom goes to an early grave. Anyway as you can see I have too much CRAP on my mind to be able to post anything wonderful today. I have a major stress headache! So I will post a few pics. Hope you enjoy them.

This is my side yard in the spring. Oh I miss the nice mild weather of the spring!

Of course this is my dog.

I don't have any really recent pics of the babe so I will post an old one.

Hope everyone has a good weekend.

Tag I'm it

I borrowed this from Hoosiergirl (The Coffee Table). I would link to her, but I don't know how. I will be learning soon though, it can't be that hard!

What were you doing 10 years ago?
I was 20 and I was married to my first husband, working second shift in a factory making zippers and going to college in the mornings. I had a very busy life.

What were you doing 1 year ago?
I was anxiously anticipating the arrival of my baby in November. We were readying the nursery and making lists of all the things we wanted and needed for our little angel.

Five snacks that I enjoy:
Krispy Kreme doughnuts
Ice Cream
Cool Ranch Doritos
Lime Tortilla chips and salsa
Cake, any kid except chocolate

Five songs to which I know all the lyrics:
It is really hard to pick five, I know so many songs. I am always singing something. I will pick five off the top of my head.
Somewhere Over The Rainbow...by Judy Garland
Fire and Rain...by James Taylor
Margaritaville...by Jimmy Buffet
Hips Don't Lie...by Shakira
You Are My Sunshine...I don't know who originally sung it, but I sing it to my baby all the time.

Five things I would do if I were a millionaire:
Pay off all my debts
Buy about 50 acres of land and build a house in the very middle of it
Buy a new car (mine is 10 years old)
Hire a maid and a yard crew (no housework, no yardwork)
Build a new house for my mom and get her a new car too
Put money in a college fund for each of my neices
Okay I know that was more than 5, but I could probably do a whole page of things that I would like to do if I were a millionaire.

Five bad habits:
Swearing, like a sailor at times
Not being able to budget
Eating out too much, fast food is just too easy
Not washing my face before I go to bed
Eating the five snacks that I enjoy

Five things I like doing:
Spending time with my children and hubby
Reading books and blogs
Baking
Sewing (yes I like to sew)
Shopping

Five things I will never wear again:
Bikini
Tube top
Leggings
Leg warmers
Mini Skirt

Five favorite toys:
Cell phone
My baby, he is my favorite toy
I can only come up with two, I don't have a lot of gadgets or toys.

If you want to do this little thing, feel free and let me know so I can check out your answers!

9 Months

My sweet little angel is 9 months old today. He has changed so much since he came into this world. I have changed so much since he came into this world. I think the changes in me are for the better. Who knew I would learn to function on less than 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep and still manage to smile? Who knew I would be happy to get up at 6:30 am on the weekends? So many other things that I have learned from my little one. He is so mobile now. If you walk out of the room, he crawls along behind you. He is pulling up on everything and cruising along the edges of the furniture. He tries to let go, but he isn't ready yet, nor am I. I don't think I am ready for him to take those first steps. He has 4 teeth that are all showing. He is so happy most of the time. I try to remember now what we did before we had him, he has added so much to our lives. He has filled my heart with a love that I never imagined.

The other sister

Tomorrow is my sister's birthday. Happy early birthday D. I mailed her card this morning, so she will get it tomorrow. She will be 33. She is 3 years older than me, but years less mature than me. I have always wondered if maybe she has ADHD that was never diagnosed or maybe a learning disability or maybe she is autistic. Not Rainman autistic, but autistic in a different way. She was born daughter number 3 in our family of 4 girls, a middle child. My other sisters were 8 and 5 when she was born. She is the sister closest to my age so she was my playmate when we were growing up. She always had a great imagination, she was fun to play with. We would play house for hours, the entire acre of our yard belonged to us and we created an entire city, even if only in our minds. If I close my eyes I can still see our playhouses and the bakery and gas station and doctors offices and bank. Yes we had very rich imaginations. Our bikes were the newest and best cars that money could buy. We had an endless supply of money to shop and spend anyway that we liked. Our money was leaves from the pecan tree with the low branches. We had a restaurant complete with a drive thru. So much fun we had together as children.

Then we started growing up and things started happening in our lives, we started growing apart. Our daddy died when I was 8 and she was 11, I think it affected her more than me. Maybe because she was older she was more aware of the things going on around us. Maybe it was that single tragic event that affected her so greatly that she has refused to grow up.

We always went to the same school and rode the same bus. Yet at school we were not really friends. Who wants to hang out with their little sister at school, really? Anyway she always had a problem in school, she never got good grades. I on the other hand was always on the honor roll, always winning awards, always the teacher's pet. Can you imagine that? She failed the 7th grade and the 9th grade, the only one in our family to ever fail a grade and she failed two of them. So I just about caught her, we graduated one year apart. Her senior year we got kind of close again. We would eat breakfast together while we waited on the bus that year.

Yes we rode the bus most of the time. I did not get a car until my senior year and my mom would not let me drive her car to school, only to work. My sister never got a car because she did not have her drivers license. She had no desire to drive, she finally got her license when she was about 20. She still does not own a car and when she has acess to one she does not like to drive. I got my license 2 days after I turned 16 and I will drive anything with a steering wheel. I started working 2 weeks after my 16th birthday and have successfully had a job since my first job. My sister has never really worked, she has had a few jobs here and there, but she gets nervous dealing with people and money and so she has not found anything that she was good at. She did go to cosmetology school and graduated, yet failed her state board test and never got her license or even attempted to take the test again. She has never really had anything material, material things just don't matter much to her. As long as she has a t.v., Mountain Dew, and frozen pizzas and potato chips she is happy as she can be.

Don't get me wrong she is not stupid, per say. She can recite more movies than most people can even remember seeing. You need a joke, she is the one to go to. You need to make up a funny song about someone or something, she can help you out. You want to know about a Saturday Night Live skit, she is your girl. She can't carry on an inteligent conversation with anybody over the age of 5. She has no clue about the real world.

Even though we have the family connection in common, that is where it ends for us. Since I have grown up we have no common bonds. I only see her when we have a family function, like birthday parties or holiday gatherings. She lives next door to my mom in my mom's other house. My mom pretty much takes care of her, which really gets under my skin. GET OFF YOUR SORRY ASS AND GET A JOB. There has to be something that she can do, like be a cleaning lady at a hotel or work at a daycare, she is great with kids. Anyway she has no ambition. It does not bother her that she has nothing. It does not bother her that she has no job. Like I said earlier as long as she has her junk food and t.v. she is happy.

As I was sitting down last night to write in her card I could not come up with one damn thing to say to her. That is sad to me, she is my sister. We should have this unbreakable bond. What do you say to someone that you have nothing in common with? Anyway I reminisced about the past and wished her a happy birthday, which I really hope she has.

Good scents and bad scents

When a co-worker came in this morning she smelled just wonderful. I immediately ran into her office and demanded she tell me what smelled so good. She pulled out this little bottle of Bath and Body Works Orange Ginger Aromatherapy lotion. Let me tell you it smells so fresh and clean. WHOOO! So she gave me the bottle, said she had the big bottle at home. She didn't have to brag and all, but I gladly took the small bottle so now I smell all Orange-gingery. MMMMMM

Then I went to the restroom a few minutes ago and a different co-worker had put some lotion or something on and it too is Aromatherapy, but it is supposed to be for relaxation. I think it is Lavender-Vanilla scented. IT IS WAY TOO STRONG AND OVERPOWERING. It makes me want to projectile vomit. UGHHHHHH. Enough is enough already. She frequently puts this scent on in her office. Once she was just trying to be helpful and she sprayed my arms and shirt with it. YEAH, I try so hard to be nice to people, but sometimes they really test me. So I proceeded to thank her and tell her how wonderful it smelled and then I promptly went into the restroom and bathed myself in the sink. I HAD TO GET THE FUNK OFF OF ME. I had a nice headache the rest of the day from that stinky stuff. I know scent is a personal preference and you may just love that scent and if you do that is great, just please don't spray me with your bottle of it. I would rather be sprayed by a skunk, honestly. Thanks for the offer though.

Bright sunshiney day

Happy Monday! I know it is Monday, but let's try to be positive and only focus on the good things today. I had a good weekend. So very different from weekends past.

We ate supper with my hubby's grandparents and mom Friday night. I just love those people. I actually got to stay in the kitchen and help Grand-mama with supper and after supper my sweet baby had plenty of people to watch over him, so I stayed in the kitchen and cleaned up all the dishes and even scrubbed the stove clean and swept the floor. I have not been able to really help out there since the baby was born because he can be clingy to me at times and it makes it hard to get anything done. Anyway he was very entertained and I got to help out. Helping out is something that I truly do enjoy. Hubby's grandparents are so funny. They are both over 85 and still married! They are an inspiration to me. We stayed at their house until nearly midnight, the babe finally crashed around 11:30 and slept all the way home. I got him into bed and he slept until 6, he woke up nursed and back to sleep he went. He slept until 9:00 am in his own bed! YAY FOR MY BABY! He has slept in his own bed for the past 3 nights. He has slept at least 7 hours before waking up to nurse. He also has taken wonderful naps. Apparently whatever was ailing him last week is cured! Thank heavens for miracles!

Saturday I did get a great deal on diapers by the case at Toys 'R' Us. I am very glad that my baby can wear the cheap store brand diapers. No expensive brands for us, which saves us so much money. Anyway he has so many diapers now, we won't have to buy any for a while. Also on Saturday my hubby took the daughter to a movie, the baby napped and I got a few things done. I made a reading nook in my bedroom, complete with a lamp and rocking chair. Now I want to find a different more cozy chair to put in the corner. Do you have any cozy chairs that you want to get rid of??? While my baby napped and the house was quiet, I read a book and painted my nails. Yeah me time. I did not do the laundry or scrub the bathroom, I did something for me. It felt good.

Sunday was great. I got up around 7 with the baby. We had breakfast and played and then I took him into our room so I could get a shower and hubby got up and kept an eye on him so I could get a shower. I got dressed and got the baby down for his nap and I was off to meet my best friend for lunch. She lives an hour and a half away from me, so we picked somewhere nearly half way that has a good mexican restaurant to meet at. Anyway after an hour and a half lunch and gab fest, we went shopping. I did not really have money to shop, but it was nice to look and just be out of the house without my baby. We spent a little while shopping and then decided we both needed to head home. Before I got back on the road I stopped at DQ and got a Caramel Moo-latte. Have you had one? They are FABULOUS! I stopped at a few places on my way home and I got home around 4:30. Hubby met me at the door, baby was sleeping so we snuck off to our room for some much needed couple together time. I won't go into detail here. I am pretty sure you don't want to hear about my sex life with my hubby.

After we were done the little one woke up and hubby went and brought him into our room and he was happy to see me. He was also happy to be with my hubby. I think the time together was really good for them too. They bonded. Anyway I had a great time "off". I will definately be doing that again.

Taking time for myself

That is something that I rarely ever do. Before I had my little one, I would go shopping or out to eat with hubby or my friends or just take a day to lay around and read magazines and watch movies. Those of you that have children know that once the baby gets here, there is no time for things like that. Even less time for anything that does not HAVE to be done.

Well I am one of those people that thinks that they can do it all. You know, work full-time, raise the kids, cook supper every night, keep the house cleaned, keep all the laundry washed and put away, bake cookies, entertain friends and family, fight crime and injustice, and not look like I am struggling to get it all done. I have always been like that, even before I had kids to raise. There are very few times that I just sit and do nothing. If I do sit down to watch T.V., I am clipping coupons and making the grocery list or thinking of all the other things that I could be doing while I am sitting there. The only time my mind really rests is when I sleep and even then my wheels are turning. I have been known to start a load of laundry when I get up to breastfeed the babe at 4 am. Most people would not be thinking about laundry in the middle of the night!

Someone once gave me a book for women who do too much, do you think I have read it? Are you kidding, who has time to read, there are cookies to be baked and sheets to be changed. Don't think though that with all this cleaning and obsessing that I do that my house is actually spotless. Oh not for a minute, not with a husband, 2 kids and a dog. No matter how much I vaccuum, there is still dog hair, no matter how many dishes I wash or laundry that I do, something is still dirty.

There is no way that I can get it all done, there are just not enough hours in the day. All that said I wouldn't trade my life for anything, but it really wears me out. Especially lately, my babe has started this frantic crying when we put him to bed. Not just at night, oh no at naptime too. He will be really asleep and then we go to lay him in the crib and he open his eyes just a little bit and realizes that we are putting him down in his crib and he starts wailing. So we let him wail for a bit and then when neither of us can take it anymore. He wants to be held while he sleeps. WTF? Yeah, that is what I think of that. There is no way that I can sleep in his cirb every night. I mean come on, having to hang my legs out of the bars is just more than I can take. But seriously we have let him sleep with us for the past few nights. He will sleep for about an hour or two and then start moving around and wake up. If we snuggle him close and hold him tight usually he will settle down and go back to sleep. Co-sleeping is not for me. In my house every child has their bed and that is where they should sleep, with the exception of sickness or bad weather. I just cannot REALLY go to sleep with him in our bed. So I have not really slept in 3 days! 3 days is a long time. I thought yesterday that when he took his nap I would nap too, but he cried for 30 minutes before he went to sleep then he only slept about 45 minutes which was right as I was drifting off to sleep. He has been very clingy and whiny lately. I don't know if he is about to do something major and he is unable to sleep at night in order to prepare for it or if maybe he just has too much energy to stay asleep. When he is asleep, his legs and arms are moving and sometimes he is babbling. I don't know what to do. Last night I gave him Tylenol and he did manage to stay in his bed for almost 2 1/2 hours. He has been sleeping in his bed with no problems for several months now, and he has been fine. That is why I am convinced that something is going on with him, sleep habits don't just change overnight.

Anyway I have been really snappy and ill lately with my family because hello people I am freaking exhausted. On top of everything else that has been going on I have had to deal with my hubby and the job situation, so I just really am tired. Tired to the bone. As I was packing up everything to leave the house this morning, baby in one arm and everything else in the other, hubby says to me that I need to take Sunday off and go and do something for me. Go see your best friend, go see a movie, or I can take the babe and you can stay at home, whatever you want to do, but you need a break. Immediately I begin to cry. Yeah tears of relief, tears of frustration, tears of realization, tears of appreciation. I quietly told my husband thank you. He went on to explain that it was not because he thinks I am a bad mom or a bad wife, be he does realize that I do WAY TOO MUCH. He went on to say that he does not know how I do it. I need to learn to let some things go, they will eventually get done, that I need to take time for me and to relax and let the dishes sit on the table or the laundry in the basket. He also said that it will make me a better mom and wife, because what good am I if I am running screaming from the house because I just can't take it anymore. I know I need a break, but I will not ever ask for one, it is just part of the way I am. I will just keep doing it all until I run out of steam.

So think about me on Sunday, having some (hopefully) guilt-free me time.

A post about nothing, well mostly

I am so aggravated! For the past few days I have had problems with my cell phone charging. I don't think it is the battery, I think it is the phone itself. When I plug in my car charger, nothing happens. Last week if I wiggled the plug around, it would charge. Now nothing! Of course I did not realize this until my lunch break, when my cell phone died. So now I have to make that long drive home this afternoon with my baby and no cell phone. I almost brought my home charger with me this morning and then I decided against it. I should have went with my first thought to bring it. Oh well, hindsight is 20/20. I wish my vision was!!!

On a happier note, my baby has like 4 teeth now. They are just sprouting up all over the place. Since his new ones have started coming in, he has not been too bad about biting me during breastfeeding. Thank you God for that. When his first tooth started breaking through the skin, he bit me all the time and it really HURT! He is also crawling all over the place, when he gets to an obstacle he either pulls up on it or tries to crawl over it. He is just growing up entirely too fast. I am definately not ready for him to walk yet. He is so cute crawling and sitting up though. I bought him some little leather sneakers the other day and thought I would put them on him Sunday afternoon. Boy I tell you he screamed like they had small tigers in them that were eating his feet. He only kept them on for about 2 minutes before I took them off. He has never really worn shoes and now he doesn't like them. Maybe I will get him some sandals to wear and get him accustomed to having something on his feet. He really just likes to bite his toes too much to put anything on his feet.

See this is really a post about nothing. No exciting news, nothing interesting, just everyday life today. Thank goodness for days like this.

Friday photos

Not much to say today, thought I would leave you for the weekend with some pics. The first pic is my dog looking for a phone number, she is so smart! The second is of some awesome vine that I have growing in my yard that has the most striking and unrealistic looking flowers. Any ideas on what kind of vine it could be? I think you can tell what the last one is. Have a great weekend!

Thursday MeMe

1. The book nearest me: The phone book

2. Stretch your left arm, what do you touch? Files, lots and lots of files.

3. Last thing watched on television? CSI:NY, last night

4. Without looking, what time is it? 10:30 am

5. What time is it actually? 10:33 am

6. With the exception of the computer what can you hear? The radio and other people talking near me.

7. When did you last step outside? A couple of hours ago

8. Before this survey, whar did you look at? Miss Zoot's website, her vacation pics

9. What are you wearing? Denim skirt and a sleeveless striped shirt

10. What did you dream last night? I don't remember, I was so tired

11. When did you last laugh? This morning, dropping off my little one at my MIL's

12. What is on the walls of the room? A picture that my nine year old drew and colored for me about 4 years ago, and some other various framed pictures

13. Seen anything wierd lately? Last night a bird was in the road and he was just walking, he did not try to get out of the way or anything. I had to stop and let him cross the road. Strange!

14. What do you think of this quiz? It's okay.

15. What is the last film you saw? At the theater, Nanny McPhee. At home, The Ugly Dachsund with my family Friday night.

16. Tell us something we don't know. Let's see, do you know that I have a tattoo?

17. If you could change one thing about the world what would you do? End world hunger, the thought of children (people in general, but especially children) starving to death just sickens me. Can I fix 2 things, I also would like for everyone to be able to afford good health care.

18. Do you like to dance? Does a dog like to be run over by a car? Okay then, I do not dance.

19. George Bush? I don't discuss my political views on here, sorry!

20. Imagine your first child is a girl. Well technically my first child was a girl. Of course I did not give birth to her, but I lover her nonetheless. She has added so much to my life and taught me so many things.

21. Imagine your first child is a boy. What do you know, the first child that I gave birth to is a boy and he is just fabulous. He has changed me in ways that I could never have imagined. I love him so much.

22. Would you consider living abroad? I don't think so. I really like having my family close.

23. What would God say to you when you reach the pearly gates? Welcome home, I have been waiting for you.

24. List 6 bloggers to carry on this meme. I am not going to do this, how about this offer, if you want to do the meme, leave it in comments and I will be sure to come visit you and read your answers. Like I don't read you all anyway.

I am a junkie...

Hello my name is sunShine and I am an addict. I think about my addiction all the time. I wake up in the morning thinking about it and I go to bed at night thinking about it. I visualize it all day long while I am at work. I try to scheme other people into getting my drug for me. Oh I would kill for it right now. Would you like to know what I am addicted to? ICE CREAM. I just can't get enough of it. I dream about milkshakes from Chick Fil A and Blizzards from the Dairy Queen. I can not focus because I NEED ICE CREAM. I swear I am addicted and I need a 12 step program to get off the stuff. People at my office think that it's funny, but really it is not funny, it is serious. I am jonesing for some cold, creamy, ice cream. I don't know if it is because it is 100 degrees outside here with like 85 % humidity or what, but I cannot get enough of it. I find myself standing near the time clock at the office close to lunch time trying to bribe someone into going to get me a milkshake or blizzard, they are heartless cruel animals because they will not go get me a fix. DAMN THEM ALL! Maybe tomorrow I will just bring me a private stash so when I feel like I just can't take it anymore I can have my fix. The closest thing that I have here is yogurt, which has been taking care of the cravings at the office. When I leave here today thought look out because I am going to Chick Fil A and getting my cookies and cream milkshake. AHH SWEET HEAVEN, I can hardly contain myself.

Now onto other things... dinner was wonderful Monday. I always tend to dread things and freak out about them and then they turn out fine. Just a little drama queen sometimes, I guess. Anyway the people were truly a wonderful couple. The man has a great business and after having dinner with us, he called my hubby yesterday and offered him a job. HIP HIP HOORAY! Hubby of course had to discuss it with me, you know I am his personal consultant and all, so he took the job. He is turning in his notice tomorrow. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off of my shoulders and my hubby is already happier. Just knowing that he will not have to return to this job that has turned into pure hell has made such a difference. I really think that this job will be a great opportunity for my hubby. I know there will be challenges in the new job, but at least it will have set hours, which means he will be home with his family EVERY night of the week.

Thank you everyone for all of your well wishes and positive thoughts and prayers during this truly difficult time for us. I could tell you stories that would probably make you cry about some of the things that have happened over the past few months, but I always try to keep things positive, so I won't go there. Just know that reading your blogs and leaving me nice comments on here really helped. I am so lucky to have all of you in my life, even if it is just online. Look at me getting all mushy, someone pass the tissues... anyway truly thank you!

But I don't wanna go...

I am whining, I bet that surprises you! Well you see tonight we have to go to dinner at 7pm with someone who wants to talk to my hubby about a possible new job. YAY for him! Anyway the guy wanted hubby and I to go to dinner with him and his wife. Sounds fine right? Well the only problem is that I. REALLY. DON'T. WANT. TO. GO. I have gotten very introverted since I had my baby. I want to get off work, run over and pick him up, take him home and spend the rest of my evening staring at his beautiful little face and crawling around on the floor with him to see what we can find and feeding him his yummy supper and hearing him say MAMAMAMAMAMAMa. Notice that none of that included leaving him so I can go out to eat with strangers that I guess I need to try to impress. I will miss supper time with my baby and he will have to be up later because hello, his bedtime is like 8:30. I am sure we will not be finished eating and have him picked up and then drive the 30 minutes back to our house by 8:30. Which means he will not get a bath tonight and he will be up late! The restaurant that we are going to, ummm not one of my favorites, so what will I eat??? I know it is probably stupid to be this aggravated about it, but I just want to spend all the time I can with my little one, especially when I have been away from him at work all day! Wish me luck!!! oh yeah and my hubby, you know the whole job prospect and all...

The in-laws

My MIL is coming to spend the night with us tonight! YAY! No really I am excited, I love my MIL. We always have a good time when she is with us. She and my SIL always go out of town with us and on vacation with us. My MIL lives with my SIL and they are always together. I guess maybe I should give you a little history on them.

My MIL got divorced from my FIL when my SIL was like 19 or 20. So SIL was still living at home and going to college. She just never really moved out. After much searching and heartache, she never found Mr. Right, so she stayed single. A few years ago she had some money that she needed to invest in something so she bought a house for her and of course my MIL moved in with her. They have worked tirelessly to fix up this house and it is adorable. Anyway I am straying from my thoughts here, just stick with me. They are like best friends, they do just about everything together. Anyway my SIL is gone out of town for business this weekend and we do not want MIL staying the night by herself so we have asked her to come and spend the night with us. My kids just adore her and it helps to have another adult to help entertain the kiddies. Of course she also enjoys coming to spoil the kiddies just a little bit more.

My MIL and SIL and I have not always had a great relationship. Our relationship started out very rocky and turbulent, all of that is behind us now and I won't go into details here. Since I married into the family instead of just disappearing, like they had once wished, they finally gave me a chance. Of course once they got to know me, they just adore me now. I mean, really, who wouldn't??? We have been very fortunate to have them in our lives. My MIL keeps my little one while I work and she is super close to my office so I can go and spend my lunch break with them. She takes him to see his great grandparents all the time, so they get to enjoy him a lot. My SIL is usually still at home in the mornings when I drop off the babe and he just adores her. She makes him laugh and sometimes he cries when she leaves for work. She never had kids of her own so she spoils her neice and nephews ROTTEN! They have both been such a blessing. My child is getting the best care and I have peace of mind about leaving him, because I know he is being loved and spoiled just like if I were at home with him.

I am excited about tonight. I know we will have a good time! Hope everyone has a great weekend!!!

I just want to cry. I have not had a good cry in a while and whether or not right now is the appropriate time to do it, I think is going to happen anyway. I have been trying to hold back the tears all morning, but I can only do so much. I hate to cry at work, too many people with too many questions. I hate to tell everyone all my personal business here, so I don't. Anyway welcome to my pity party. It is hard to hold everything together sometimes and even Wonder Woman needs a break! (my husband refers to me as Wonder Woman because I manage to get everything important done and still have time for my family.)

Calgon take me away...

Some days I wish Calgon could just take me away. Not permantly or anything, just for a little while for a much needed break. My little sweet one is getting another tooth, on the top this time. Let me tell you teething is pure HELL! My little boy has been in so much agony, he has had such a hard time sleeping. He wakes up just screaming and he tries to go back to sleep, but he can't because he is in pain. Thank GOD for teething tablets and Tylenol. He had a really bad night Saturday, but we got through it and I thought that the worst was over. I thought wrong. He woke up at 3 this morning, just screaming. I was so tired, I could not keep my eyes open. I finally gave him teething tablets and put him in the bed with hubby and I and he sat up and leaned over on me and went to sleep. After he had been asleep for a few minutes I was able to lay him down and snuggle up with him. I don't really sleep when he is in my bed though, so I feel like poop today. I did stay in bed an hour later this morning trying to rest, but I never was able to go back to sleep.

What do you do when your husband is MISERABLE in their job??? He got this great job with a very large worldwide corporation back in May. We were all excited. The job sounded great and everyone thinks that this is such a wonderful company to work for. He would have killer benefits and retirement and all that jazz. Well the job really sucks. He works anywhere from 10 to 14 hours a day. He has had a few 16 and 17 hour days. They pay them salary and so the overtime is what they call "calculated" or chinese overtime, which basically means that by Thursday of every week he is working for around minimum wage. It is just draining him physically and emotionally. Working all those hours, he does not have time to look for anyone else. He can't really take advantage of all the great health insurance and all because he doesn't have time. He barely sees us during the week then on the weekends he is so tired... I don't know what to do. We cannot afford for him to not work and look for something else. The job market here really sucks. We have had several large companies close in the past few years in this area so everyone is looking for a job.

Like I said in the beginning Calgon take me away...

Tumbling

My sweet little boy got his first knot on his head yesterday. My MIL called me yesterday morning, not too long after I got to the office and started off by saying that she was a bad Grandma. It kind of shocked me that she called me anyway because the only time she usually calls is to let me know what time to come and feed him lunch. I did not panic though because her voice was very calm. I asked her what happened and she said that he was standing and playing on the ottoman (you know standing in front of it) and he lost his balance and fell back and she could not catch him before he hit his little noggin on a piece of HARD furniture. She said he started crying and she started crying. THANK GOD my sister in law was still there and she took him and gave my MIL time to calm down and she got my son calmed down and put some witch hazel on his bump and he was fine. Although just to be sure she kept him awake for about an hour to be sure that he did not have a concussion or something. He seemed fine when I went over for lunch. He has a red bump on his head still, but he has been acting okay. Apparently it did not scar him for life because today he still wants to stand up at the ottoman. I know his first bump had to happen and honestly I am glad that it did not happen while he was at home with me. I probably would have rushed him to the ER.

Independence Day

Hope everyone had a great independence day. I did. It was spent with my family, eating WAAYYY too much junk food and having fun.

Weight loss secrets

Wow the response to my weight loss has been great, not just from you guys, but from people that really know me. I barely have any clothes that fit me, because they are all too big. I went shopping yesterday and bought a size 10 pants! WOOHOO for me. I have not been a size 10 in probably about 3 or 4 years. When I got pregnant with my sweet little angel baby I weighed 170 lbs., the heaviest that I have ever been in my life! When he was born I weighed 192 lbs! Now he is almost 8 months old and I weigh 140 lbs!

I had gestational diabetes when I was pregnant and had to REALLY watch what I ate. It kindof took some of the fun out of being pregnant. I did not get to eat what I wanted, when I wanted. I had to keep a food journal, count calories and carbs and take my blood sugar 4 times a day, OUCH! Anyway I had to go to a class to learn how to do all of that and to learn how I should be eating for the health of my baby. I certainly did not want to have to take insulin shots for the remainder of my pregnancy. So I did everything that the doctor recommended, most of the time. I still ate Mexican food on occassion, which made my blood sugar skyrocket, but I made up for it the next day by walking a few extra minutes and not eating as much. Anyway, long story short, I really learned how to eat.

I did not gain any weight the last 3 months of my pregnancy. My baby got bigger, but my actual body lost weight, not in pounds, but my face, legs, arms, etc all lost weight. So 2 weeks after I had my c-section I was back in me pre-pregnancy clothes. Anyway fast forward to now. I do NOT exercise, oh how I wish I had time to exercise. My little boy keeps me so busy that I just don't have time to exercise and when I am not playing with him, I am cleaning the house or doing laundry.

About the only thing that I do to keep the weight off is drink water, and plenty of it. I don't drink tea or soft drinks, except on occassion. I do however drink at least 8-8ounce glasses of water a day. I start out my day drinking water and keep a water bottle on my desk all day long. Anytime I get the urge to snack, I drink some water first and wait a few minutes, then I have my snack.

Something else that I think has really helped is the breastfeeding. My boy is a booby baby! Of course he doesn't breastfeed as much as he did because he is eating baby food now, but that is still his main source of milk.

Another thing that I think has helped me is the fact that I am constantly running, it seems. Not physically running, but 5 days a week, I am up and out of the house by 7:30 and it is off to work. Then at lunch I eat my sandwich while I am driving to my MIL to see my sweet angel and I spend my lunch hour playing with him, not eating. Then I eat an afternoon snack. Then I leave work, go and pick him up, head home. Rush to get supper on the table. Hurry to get through my meal and make sure everyone else is fed and then I have to get the little one ready for bed. After he is down for the night, it is time to get everything ready for the next day. After all of that is done, I am ready for bed and usually pass out from sheer exhaustion!

So you see there really is no big secret to my weight loss. Maybe I should invent some bogus reasons and write a book. I could be a millionaire!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The post in which I talk about his ex-wife

Thank goodness today is Friday. Friday is jeans day at our office, which means I just wake up and grab some jeans or jean capris that don't need to be ironed and a comfy shirt and come to work. Not today, no today I am dressed. Dressed nicer than I am sometimes during the week. Yeah you see I have to go Vacation Bible School end of the session presentation (or whatever it is called) at the ex-wife's church tonight. So I will not have time to go home and change or do anything but go straight there. Anytime I have to be around her and her "friends" I always try to look my best. It helps that I have lost 30 pounds more than my pre-pregnancy weight, something she has not been able to do and her child is 9. It also helps that I am 8 years younger than her! It just puts me on edge to have to be around her. But for the sake of my (step) daughter I would endure hell, yes that is how much I love her. I also know that it gets under the ex's skin to have to be around me, so I go to everything that involves my daughter. It isn't like we sit on the same aisle as her or anything, we normally sit up in the balcony at any church function so we don't have to look at her. She is so evil she can burn the retinas right out of your eyeballs. I won't talk about her too much, she really isn't worth the energy it would take to type the words. Just know anytime we are in the same room, I will be the better looking (skinnier) one smiling in all my glory!

Little update about work: The problem that I have been working on so diligently is finally freakin' corrected. YES! Oh glorious day this is turning out to be!

Something funny that happened to me yesterday: I had to go to the courthouse for something work related and when I went through the metal detector, it went off. So I had to step over to the side and be wanded down. Would you like to know what made the metal detector go off? My bra. I guess the metal in the hooks are just that powerful that it can set off the metal detector. Anyway me and the person wanding me down really got a kick out of it.

Just rambling today, not much else going on.

Happy Hump Day

Happy Hump Day. This has been a long freakin week, or at least it seems long. I think it seems to be dragging on because of the mess I am trying to fix at the office. We changed to a new server 3 weeks ago and also upgraded our current software, yadda, yadda, yadda. Well I am in charge of pretty much everything here so of course it is my job to get everything working properly on the new system. Well the only problem is that the level of technical support that I have received for the past 3 weeks, really blows! We have been with the same software company for 16 years, since the beginning of time basically and have never had such utterly horrible service from them. There are a few things that they have been totally avoiding me on. I called this morning and of course the person that I need to talk to is assisting another customer, like I believe that, so I left a message. That was at 9:30 this morning. It is now 4:00 in the afternoon. Help me, someone do the math. That is 6 1/2 hours and I still haven't gotten a phone call. I hate to have to sick my boss on them, he will call the owner of the company faster than they can blink their beady little eyes. I just really hate for my boss to call the owner because then I know they all roll their eyes when I have to call for any reason. I know we do that when people call here and complain about us. Anyway, I just want them to get my damn problems fixed so my days can go back to business as usual!

Date night disasters

Well I know everyone is on the edge of their seats waiting to hear about date night. If you aren't on the edge of your seat, please scoot there now so I will feel like you really want to hear about it. K? Are you there yet? Alrighty then, date night...Let's see where do I begin? My mom got to the house around 4:15 to watch my son, who had been strangely clingy to me all day. Hubby and I went over some basic things with her. How to call us, where the hospital is, what to do if he swallows the remote, you know all the basic things that you need to go over with a babysitter. We promptly snuck out the door so he would not cry. Off we were headed to the restaurant to get some good italian food. Well conversation was lacking, I was trying not to bring up my son and just have an adult conversation, but that is so very hard to do. So we started talking about what we would do after we finished eating, that too ended badly. We did not plan ahead, so we really did not have anything to do. My hubby asked me if I was thinking about my little one and HUGE TEARS came into my eyes and I was trying not to bawl in the restaurant. I just felt so guilty for leaving him. I missed him so much. It is bad enough that I have to leave him during the week to come to work, but for goodness sakes to leave him on the weekends now! What is the matter with me? Am I insane? I don't have such a hard time when I go out with my best friend and leave him at home with his daddy. Why should this be any harder. Anyway we ended up going to a few places shopping and then back home where I was greeted with a big open mouth kiss and lots of hugs from my little sweet boy. He missed me and I missed him. Maybe one day hubby and I will attempt a date night again, but you better believe that it will be well planned!

I have a date

I am so excited. I have a date tomorrow afternoon. My date does not know yet that he is going out with me, but I am sure when I tell him, he will be equally excited. The date is with... none other than my hubby. We have not been out alone since before the babe was born, which was more than 7 1/2 months ago. That is a really long time to go without having a date with your significant other. We have both been so stressed out at work lately that I think we deserve an afternoon off. My mom is coming down to our house tomorrow after she gets off work at 3 and keep him for a couple of 4 hours. I want to be back in time for his bedtime routine. One reason that we have not gone out before now is because I don't really have a sitter to leave him with. I don't trust just anyone with my baby or my house. All of our family lives in another town that is at least 30 minutes away. My mother-in-law keeps him everyday, so I feel kind of bad asking her to keep him any on the weekends. Other than my mother-in-law, my mom and my sister-in-law he does not really know anyone else well enough to not freak out after he realizes that we are gone. So anyway I am excited about getting a little break, very long overdue.

The post I should probably delete...

I am dealing with some issues lately in my mind. I want to know where my ex-husband is and how he is doing. Afterall we did share many (like 5 or 6) years together. His mom and I still email each other occassionally, so I could email her and ask about him. I have not told her that I have a baby, I just don't know that I want him to know. Not that I am ashamed of my baby, but the less he knows about me the better off we all are. Am I crazy to want to know that he is alright? A small part of me will always care about him and wonder. After we separated and divorced I talked to him at least every few weeks. Sometimes we would talk about absolutely nothing, you know the way you do to friends sometimes. It is just hard to not know about the person that you once vowed to love for the rest of your life. I am not still hung up on him or anything like that, our divorce was the best thing that could have happened to me. I have grown so much as a person since then. I would not trade my life now with my husband and children for anything in the world, I am truly happy. So I guess I should just leave well enough alone.

Amazing how so many years after a relationship is over you still wonder about the person. The James Blunt song "Goodbye My Lover" makes me think about him. The part about holding your hand at night, while you are asleep. I remember when things were at the very end he had gotten home from work before I had to leave and he told me that he didn't want to be married anymore. I was shocked to say the least, but our marriage had been over for at least a year prior to this day. I just always thought that I would be the one to make the final decision, since I was the one that took him back when we were separated. Anyway he stayed at the house with me that weekend and I remember just lying in bed beside him and crying and holding his hand and knowing that when he left on Sunday it would really be over. And for all intents and purposes it was.

Happy Summer

Today is the first day of summer! This season reminds me of lazy days spent in the pool, a trip to the beach, fresh squeezed lemonade, cold watermelon, the smell of fresh cut grass... AHHHH

It also reminds me of really bad sunburns (complete with blisters), sweating profusely, mosquitos and gnats and all sorts of flying, stinging insects.

Whatever it makes you think of, HAPPY SUMMER to you!