Want to know what the baby is?

Well today was a monumental day in my pregnancy. I had my ultrasound this morning. My hubby and child were there, which was wonderful. I was so nervous. I started having bad anxiety last night about something being wrong with the baby. It was something that I had thought about before, but last night was worse. I cried during supper, and hubby assured me that nothing was wrong with the baby and even if it was we could handle it. We snuggled up and went to sleep last night, both of us anticipating today.

We had to take 2 cars because my doctor is in the town that I work in and I had to come to work after the appointment. Hubby of course works in the town that we live in so he had to go back there. I got to the office and he was already there with his child standing in the hall looking out the window waiting for me. I wanted to cry when I saw them there. Hormonal tears get the best of me sometimes. We went into the waiting room and waited for what seemed like an eternity, finally the Ultrasound technician came and got us and led us into the room.

It was a nice quiet, very dimly lit little room. It has been so long since I have seen an ultrasound I had forgotten what they really look like. She looked for a while and did some measurements and typed some stuff in and printed some pictures. Then she turned the screeen around so I could see it. It was magnificent! I could see my baby moving all around. Then she asked if we wanted to know what it was, very excitedly we answered her, "YES!" She isolated part of the anatomy and asked if we could tell what it was, immediately I could. IT'S A BOY!!!! I am so excited, I cried a little bit. I could have cried more, but I hate to be a blubbering mess. I have pictures and I have been showing everyone. My family is so excited, we have no boys, so mine will be the first. I can't believe that I am gonna have a son.

Eight legged hysteria

It was a very uneventful night last night, just snuggling on the sofa watching TV with my hubby. I guess it happened around 10 or 10:30. The dog needed to go outside, like she usually does, so I got up to let her out. I opened the door, attached her collar to her runner and closed the door. Nothing abnormal about that. All of a sudden something catches my eye, something on my shirt crawling! I started screaming and hitting myself and jumping around. My hubby was looking at me like I was crazy and screaming what's wrong, what's wrong. I knocked the crawly thing off my shirt and got a good look at the huge 8 legged arachid. I then proceeded to grab a shoe and beat the daylights out of it. When will spiders learn not to scare pregnant women? In all the commotion of trying to knock the thing off my shirt I scratched my face. I think I had a small heart attack. It scared the life out of me. Note to spiders and other creep crawlies: STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM ME! YOU SCARE ME AND I WILL KILL YOU IF I CAN! Maybe they read my blog and they will get the message.

Something is eatin' at me...

I feel like I really need to write something today so here goes. Being pregnant is such a wierd experience. It goes through so many phases. In the beginning I was so nauseated, yet I had to eat every 2 hours or I would feel worse. Now the nausea is gone and I am starving. I eat and a few minutes later I am hungry again. I was so hungry this morning that I ate my lunch of a honey roasted turkey and provolone cheese sandwich at 10:30 this morning. I normally start getting hungry around 11:00 or so and I go to lunch at 12:00 so most of the time I just wait it out, but this last week I have been so hungry. So anywho, I had errands to run today at lunch and on my way back to the office I went to the store and bought a pint of Strawberry ice cream, made with real strawberries, not just artificial flavoring. I got back to the office and ate a little bit of my ice cream and put the rest of it back in the freezer for a yummy afternoon snack. A co-worker called me after lunch to tell me that she had an extra baked potato left over from her lunch still wrapped in its little aluminum foil sleeve if I wanted it. So I gave in around 2:30 and ate the potato. It was a very big baked potato with lots of butter melted on it's yummy starchiness. I am staring at the remaining potato carcass thinking I could really have eaten 2 of them, if I had more butter I would eat the peel too. I think I need to get my ice cream out and finish it off, maybe that will satisfy my hungry stomach for a little while. I have been so proud of myself up until this point, trying to eat only healthy things and watching my weight gain, I have a feeling thatl if this keeps up I will be watching my weight gain alright. I need to go buy some grapes to keep at work so I can munch on them as I sit at my desk and work, ar at least pretend to.

We bought the farm...well not literally

Well it is official, hubby and I are now the proud owners of a four bedroom two and a half bath house on a three quarters of an acre double lot. We closed on the house yesterday. The best part about it is that we don't have to move. We have been living in the house since November of 03 and the owners decided that they wanted to sell it and we had first option to buy it. I love our house, it just feels like home. There is plenty of room for us to grow. Now we can paint and redecorate and take down the ugly blinds and have everything the way we want it. Ahh home ownership, it feels good.

Tuesday therapy session

Have you ever had something to do that you just keep putting off and never end up doing it. I do that so often that it makes me seem like a bad friend or family member. My mind is just filled with all things baby and our lack of finances that I have little room for other things. My family came to visit me 2 weekends ago, 2 of my sisters, my mom, and one of my neices. This is the first time that my oldest sister has been to my house, we moved into it in November 2003. Yeah I understand that it is an hour from her house and that she works and has three kids, don't get me wrong I do understand. Anyway, this sister and I were very close at one time in our lives. Many things have happened since then to drive a wedge between us and open my eyes to things that I had always just accepted. Since I moved away from my family and anyone who really knows me, I have learned to rely on my husband for many things. He is my best friend, my partner, my lover, he is the first one that I want to call when things happen, good or bad. For the first time in my life I am independent of my family and all their dysfunction and I must say it is nice. Anyway I get this call last Thursday at work, no less, from my oldest sister. She just doesn't know where she fits into my life, she doesn't feel like she knows me anymore, blah, blah, blah.Oh yeah and she was crying her eyes out. Now don't get me wrong, I have shed many tears for the lost relationship with my family, so don't think that I am just a cold hearted witch, because I am not. Anyway I was at work when she called and there are too many ears around most of the time for me to get into a heartfelt discussion with anyone on the phone, so I had to cut her short and let her go. I did not call her back that night or since then. It really pissed me off that she chose a day from hell to call me at work. I've told everyone that I cannot really have personal phone calls at work, most of the people in my life abide by that rule, trust me it isn't my rule, but I have gotten in trouble more than once about personal phone calls. I digress, I started writing her a letter that night, which I have started and stopped so many times that I don't even feel like writing it anymore. Why can't people just accept you the way you are and love you for it, instead of wanting you to be what they think you should be? The truth is that my sister doesn't know me anymore, she hasn't known me in some time. She hasn't taken the time to know the person that I have become, I have grown up tremendously over the past year and 1/2. How do you say the really hard things to someone that you love? I don't want to hurt her feelings, but I will never be the same person that I was 5 or 6 years ago. If she wants to feel close to me then she is going to have to take the effort to get to know me and establish that relationship with me. I think that this had turned into rambling, so I will end it now. Thanks for listening.