Have you ever been in a situation that you just can't seem to get out of, no matter how hard you try to dig yourself out if it, it only gets worse. I am there now. It's financial, of course. I try not to post too much about money, but lately that is all that I can think (worry) about. The cost of having a baby has been far greater that I imagined and without getting raises or any extra money from anywhere to cover the differences it has really taken its toll on our finances. We are broke. There is no money in a savings account for a rainy day. There is no rich relative on their death bed. There are no raises in our immediate future. There is however both kids birthdays, Christmas, property taxes, etc. on the horizon. We have already bought some Christmas and birthday stuff for the babe, but we have gotten the daughter very little so far. She is older now and it is increasingly expensive to buy nice things for her. It also makes it harder to buy for her because her mom and step-dad are made out of money and they spare no expense when buying stuff for her, so we feel that we have to try to keep in line with them. I am sure that hubby and I won't be getting each other anything for our upcoming anniversary or Christmas and that is fine with me. I can do without as long as my kids are happy.
I cut corners everyway that I can. I stock up on groceries and non-perishables when they are on sale. I try to cook meals that are inexpensive to make and go a long way. I eat a sandwich everyday for lunch at work, rather than eating out. I don't buy myself anything that isn't a necessity. I have let my hair grow out because the monthly haircuts to maintain my short hair were just not affordable anymore. I shop second hand stores for our clothes. Gas is so expensive we certainly don't make any trips that don't have to be made. We don't spend any money that does not have to be spent. Yet we can't get ahead. We did not take a vacation last year, we needed one, but we just didn't have the money to go anywhere. MIL even offered to pay for the place to stay, but we would have to pay for our food and activities and we just didn't have it. I don't like this feeling. I feel like it is smothering me and the stress of it all is really getting to me.
I hate to post such negative things here. I try to be upbeat and positive, but I am drowning and sometimes it is hard to keep a smile on my face. Just please keep us in your prayers as we go through these struggles.
8 comments:
I was starting to feel the same way a couple weeks back, but it had to do more with the cost of day care. But as you know, we put an end to that and were very fortunate to have a family member watch Monkey for a very cheap price. Hang in there, and everything should work out.
I KNOW EXACTLY HOW YOU FEEL.
that was part of the reason Al and I had to have our little "split" a few weeks ago. only it was more of a "I feel like I am the only one trying to fix it." feeling.
Things will get better. You do not have to keep up with the other parents. Let them outdo themselves, not you.
Money is evil and we can't do without it. I know how you feel. I'll be thinking good thoughts for you.
Posting negative is theraputic sometimes, don't feel bad about that.
We are all here for you and have been in your shoes and some might still be. You are not alone!
Sometimes you have to vent this stuff, don't feel bad. You know I've been there too. Hell, now that I am not working we are right back in that spot. I don't know if it ever really gets "better" but I know that Christmas is thew worst.
Just remember that love is not measured by gifts. I know you feel compelled to keep up with your step daughter's Mom and step Dad but don't let that ruin your holiday. You know as well as I do that one well thought out, inexpensive gift can be more touching than a cart full of high dollar gifts that were purchased impulsively.
Hang in there! And know you are not alone.
Blogging is about expressing your thoughts and feelings and those of use that read your blog are supportive. You do what you can and that's the best you can do. I've been down many times myself but somehow seem to come back so you hang in there and don't let the holidays get to you. I agree with others out here that competing isn't what it's all about. Survival is the key and looks as though you are taking the right steps. It'll all work out so don't worry...just be happy. Life and love are the two greatest gifts of all and you can't buy either one.
Wow, I totally understand. I was just feeling the same way.....I am not as broke as you are, but there is nothing left over. AND my teenagers want VERY expensive things for Christmas, and their dad doesn't do much.
I suggest you talk to your daughter. Don't scare her, but explain that things are tight, and this year you want to get her one or two special things. My kids really pitched in and got behind me when I first got divorced and was completely broke.
You are in my prayers.
J.
I am new to your blog, but I can say I know how you feel. I can remember my mom telling me as I was growing up how rich they would be if they did not have children. At the time, it annoyed me greatly. However, now I know exactly how she felt. I have two children. Their birthdays are 11 days apart. This makes September a ridiculously expensive month! All I can say is, it has to get better. There's always the lottery! :)
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