The post in which I talk about his ex-wife

Thank goodness today is Friday. Friday is jeans day at our office, which means I just wake up and grab some jeans or jean capris that don't need to be ironed and a comfy shirt and come to work. Not today, no today I am dressed. Dressed nicer than I am sometimes during the week. Yeah you see I have to go Vacation Bible School end of the session presentation (or whatever it is called) at the ex-wife's church tonight. So I will not have time to go home and change or do anything but go straight there. Anytime I have to be around her and her "friends" I always try to look my best. It helps that I have lost 30 pounds more than my pre-pregnancy weight, something she has not been able to do and her child is 9. It also helps that I am 8 years younger than her! It just puts me on edge to have to be around her. But for the sake of my (step) daughter I would endure hell, yes that is how much I love her. I also know that it gets under the ex's skin to have to be around me, so I go to everything that involves my daughter. It isn't like we sit on the same aisle as her or anything, we normally sit up in the balcony at any church function so we don't have to look at her. She is so evil she can burn the retinas right out of your eyeballs. I won't talk about her too much, she really isn't worth the energy it would take to type the words. Just know anytime we are in the same room, I will be the better looking (skinnier) one smiling in all my glory!

Little update about work: The problem that I have been working on so diligently is finally freakin' corrected. YES! Oh glorious day this is turning out to be!

Something funny that happened to me yesterday: I had to go to the courthouse for something work related and when I went through the metal detector, it went off. So I had to step over to the side and be wanded down. Would you like to know what made the metal detector go off? My bra. I guess the metal in the hooks are just that powerful that it can set off the metal detector. Anyway me and the person wanding me down really got a kick out of it.

Just rambling today, not much else going on.

Happy Hump Day

Happy Hump Day. This has been a long freakin week, or at least it seems long. I think it seems to be dragging on because of the mess I am trying to fix at the office. We changed to a new server 3 weeks ago and also upgraded our current software, yadda, yadda, yadda. Well I am in charge of pretty much everything here so of course it is my job to get everything working properly on the new system. Well the only problem is that the level of technical support that I have received for the past 3 weeks, really blows! We have been with the same software company for 16 years, since the beginning of time basically and have never had such utterly horrible service from them. There are a few things that they have been totally avoiding me on. I called this morning and of course the person that I need to talk to is assisting another customer, like I believe that, so I left a message. That was at 9:30 this morning. It is now 4:00 in the afternoon. Help me, someone do the math. That is 6 1/2 hours and I still haven't gotten a phone call. I hate to have to sick my boss on them, he will call the owner of the company faster than they can blink their beady little eyes. I just really hate for my boss to call the owner because then I know they all roll their eyes when I have to call for any reason. I know we do that when people call here and complain about us. Anyway, I just want them to get my damn problems fixed so my days can go back to business as usual!

Date night disasters

Well I know everyone is on the edge of their seats waiting to hear about date night. If you aren't on the edge of your seat, please scoot there now so I will feel like you really want to hear about it. K? Are you there yet? Alrighty then, date night...Let's see where do I begin? My mom got to the house around 4:15 to watch my son, who had been strangely clingy to me all day. Hubby and I went over some basic things with her. How to call us, where the hospital is, what to do if he swallows the remote, you know all the basic things that you need to go over with a babysitter. We promptly snuck out the door so he would not cry. Off we were headed to the restaurant to get some good italian food. Well conversation was lacking, I was trying not to bring up my son and just have an adult conversation, but that is so very hard to do. So we started talking about what we would do after we finished eating, that too ended badly. We did not plan ahead, so we really did not have anything to do. My hubby asked me if I was thinking about my little one and HUGE TEARS came into my eyes and I was trying not to bawl in the restaurant. I just felt so guilty for leaving him. I missed him so much. It is bad enough that I have to leave him during the week to come to work, but for goodness sakes to leave him on the weekends now! What is the matter with me? Am I insane? I don't have such a hard time when I go out with my best friend and leave him at home with his daddy. Why should this be any harder. Anyway we ended up going to a few places shopping and then back home where I was greeted with a big open mouth kiss and lots of hugs from my little sweet boy. He missed me and I missed him. Maybe one day hubby and I will attempt a date night again, but you better believe that it will be well planned!

I have a date

I am so excited. I have a date tomorrow afternoon. My date does not know yet that he is going out with me, but I am sure when I tell him, he will be equally excited. The date is with... none other than my hubby. We have not been out alone since before the babe was born, which was more than 7 1/2 months ago. That is a really long time to go without having a date with your significant other. We have both been so stressed out at work lately that I think we deserve an afternoon off. My mom is coming down to our house tomorrow after she gets off work at 3 and keep him for a couple of 4 hours. I want to be back in time for his bedtime routine. One reason that we have not gone out before now is because I don't really have a sitter to leave him with. I don't trust just anyone with my baby or my house. All of our family lives in another town that is at least 30 minutes away. My mother-in-law keeps him everyday, so I feel kind of bad asking her to keep him any on the weekends. Other than my mother-in-law, my mom and my sister-in-law he does not really know anyone else well enough to not freak out after he realizes that we are gone. So anyway I am excited about getting a little break, very long overdue.

The post I should probably delete...

I am dealing with some issues lately in my mind. I want to know where my ex-husband is and how he is doing. Afterall we did share many (like 5 or 6) years together. His mom and I still email each other occassionally, so I could email her and ask about him. I have not told her that I have a baby, I just don't know that I want him to know. Not that I am ashamed of my baby, but the less he knows about me the better off we all are. Am I crazy to want to know that he is alright? A small part of me will always care about him and wonder. After we separated and divorced I talked to him at least every few weeks. Sometimes we would talk about absolutely nothing, you know the way you do to friends sometimes. It is just hard to not know about the person that you once vowed to love for the rest of your life. I am not still hung up on him or anything like that, our divorce was the best thing that could have happened to me. I have grown so much as a person since then. I would not trade my life now with my husband and children for anything in the world, I am truly happy. So I guess I should just leave well enough alone.

Amazing how so many years after a relationship is over you still wonder about the person. The James Blunt song "Goodbye My Lover" makes me think about him. The part about holding your hand at night, while you are asleep. I remember when things were at the very end he had gotten home from work before I had to leave and he told me that he didn't want to be married anymore. I was shocked to say the least, but our marriage had been over for at least a year prior to this day. I just always thought that I would be the one to make the final decision, since I was the one that took him back when we were separated. Anyway he stayed at the house with me that weekend and I remember just lying in bed beside him and crying and holding his hand and knowing that when he left on Sunday it would really be over. And for all intents and purposes it was.

Happy Summer

Today is the first day of summer! This season reminds me of lazy days spent in the pool, a trip to the beach, fresh squeezed lemonade, cold watermelon, the smell of fresh cut grass... AHHHH

It also reminds me of really bad sunburns (complete with blisters), sweating profusely, mosquitos and gnats and all sorts of flying, stinging insects.

Whatever it makes you think of, HAPPY SUMMER to you!

A weekend of firsts

Well this was a monumental weekend for my little one. He had so many firsts this weekend, he should feel like a new baby today!

We went to Atlanta on Friday for the Braves game. Which by the way they lost, no big surprise there. They are really sucking big time this year! Anyway that was what my hubby wanted for Father's Day. So on Friday, me, the babe, the step-daughter, the mother-in-law and sister-in-law left town around 3 to beat some of the traffic and go ahead and check-in to the hotel before the game and all that good stuff. Hubby was planning to come up after work and just meet us at the stadium.

So 3 1/2 hours later we arrive at the hotel, which is only around 120 miles from home. Yeah TRAFFIC. WAS. AWFUL! To say the least, no accidents or anything, just a bunch of no driving, brake riding, jack-*sses on the road. My baby was good at first in the car because, hello, his sissy was in the car with him and there is no one funnier than his sissy. But as time wore on and he was tired and cranky and ready to get out of the carseat, he started whining. Yeah it was really getting on my nerves, no toys were amusing him, nothing worked! Finally peace and quiet the babe was napping.

Fast forward to arriving at the game, late of course, because who else could leave the house 4 1/2 hours before the freakin' game started and still be late? You guessed it, me and anyone with me, especially hubby's family.

So we walk the 50 blocks or so from our parking space and my babe is fine in the stroller, just enjoying the walk and taking in the sights. That was until we got into the stadium. He got a glimpse of all those people and started wailing. My babe doesn't care for large noisy crowds. So I promptly took him out of the stroller and he just clung to me. He was holding on to me so tight. He knows his mommy will protect him!

We got to our seats, which were on the end of an aisle, thank goodness, he was just screaming and crying. Tears and snot streaming down his face. I kept reassuring him and snuggling him to me and finally after a few minutes he was alright with everything. Then my hubby got there and he was very glad to see him, but he still wanted me to hold him. I let him sip some watered down Sprite out of my cup, too. He enjoyed it. I don't know if he liked the drink or the fact that he was drinking out of my cup!

So after the game there were fireworks. I was so scared that the babe was going to freak out, but surprisingly, he liked them. I held him against my shoulder with my hand over his ears and he watched the lights and WENT TO SLEEP! Yeah, he went to sleep during the fireworks, but the dogs barking at home wakes him up. I don't get it.

His first night sleeping away from home was not as easy. He woke up when we got out of the car at the hotel and he was not happy. So I breastfed him and got the pack 'n play ready and finally got him to sleep. I gently laid him the thing and he woke up and realized that he was not in his bed and this was not his room. The crying started again. Hubby decided to sleep in the other bed so little one could sleep with me. Fun for me, I barely slept all night. I was afraid to roll over or move too much, for fear of crushing him or waking him up. He slept for a few hours before he was ready to get up. I WAS SO TIRED. I felt like a zombie.

I fed him breakfast and we put on our swimsuits to go get in the pool. I slowly got in and put his little feet in the water. Guess what? He hated it too. He started crying so I got out with him and gave him to my mother-in-law and I proceeded to swim with my daughter, who is so much fun to play with in the pool. We do flips and crazy things together that only she and I do.

Fast forward to lunch-time. YAY, we went to the Varsity for lunch. It is a tradition when we go to Atlanta to eat something at the Varsity. Before we were married with children and a mortgage, we would get up on the weekend and drive to the Varsity to eat onion rings and a frosted orange and just hang out in Atlanta for the day. That has changed so much now that we have all this responsibility! Anyway, we went to the Varsity for lunch and my baby boy got to try a Frosted Orange for the first time. YUMMY, of course he loved it. It is like a dreamsicle milkshake. We took pictures of him with his little Varsity hat on. As soon as we get them back I will post them on here. Of course I only had the real camera, not the digital one, so you will have to wait for pics.

We also rode MARTA, the public underground transportation subway train thing. He liked it, I think because he did not have to be in the carseat! I am leaving lots of other details about the trip out, this post was just supposed to be about all the firsts that my baby had this weekend. Maybe one day I will write all the other things about the trip. I know one thing when we finally got home at 10:00 pm on Saturday, my little boy was glad to be in his own bed and so was I.

Learning to love it

I am so excited I have an appointment tonight to get my haircut. I LOVE getting my haircut. Since a child, a haircut has always made me happy. You walk out of the salon looking like a million dollars. A good haircut and style can lift my spirits and make me feel great. But I have one gigantic problem, I HATE MY HAIR.

We have always had a rocky relationship, my hair and I. I have tried so hard just about everyday since I was around 9 or 10 years old to get my hair to do what I wanted it to do. My hair has responded to those requests be repeatedly doing what it wants to do. So as soon as I was really old enough to make up my mind I got a major haircut. I thought I'll show you hair, I will get rid of you if you don't do what I want you to do. I loved my short hair, I kept it short for like 6 or 7 years. Even when it was short it didn't do what I wanted it to do, but it didn't take as long to try, so I kept it that way. Then I decided I wanted to grow it out. I really don't even remember why now, but I grew it out. I quickly remembered why I had gotten it cut to begin with and eventually I gave up my shoulder length locks again and opted for a cute short cut.

You see one of the problems with my hair has always been that it is unruly. By unruly I mean stringy. It has just enough body to not be straight, but not enough to be curly. What do you do with hair like that??? Well in my opinion, you cut it all off. Since having my sweet little angel, my hair has changed. The first thing it has done is fall out. The women in my family have thin hair and I guess I am no exception, it just took having a baby to thin it out. I also inherited premature grey hair. Yeah it is so pretty all streaked among my medium brown hair like a fly in the ice cream. It also has gotten more unruly. It has become more curly, which is fine with me. I have been trying to grow it out since I had my little one. Now don't get me wrong I don't want a flowing mane trailing along behind me as I run behind my baby, but I would like something different.

The last few days I have been letting it air dry and it has been really cute, or so everyone tells me. Anyway when I go tonight I am just getting a trim to shape it up a bit and get the long bangs out of my eyes. I have always wanted a hairstyle that I did not have to do anything to and I think my hair has finally listened to me. I think I am learning to love it.

The 'S' Words

I have been tagged to do this little thingy with any letter of my choice, so I chose S.

Son- my most precious, important thing in my life!

Sunshine- on my shoulder makes me happy! Need I say more about that one?

Sugar- whether it be the real stuff or a kiss, I am always up for some sugar.

Sleep- oh how I miss you. We will be together one day!

Stubborn- who me?

Sick- the way I feel today. I have some sinus stuff going on in my head!

Spa- where I wish I could go and spend a few days. I need to be pampered.

Seagrove Beach, FL- paradise, wish I was there!

Shoes- the more the merrier.

Saturday and Sunday- the weekend!

I am not going to tag anyone. Most of the blogs that I read have already done this, so. I hope you enjoyed the letter S.

Odds and ends

Things in my mind are sometimes very jumbled, it isn't that I can't have a complete thought. It is the fact that the first thought is like a train, it just sort of takes off and winds its way through different paths and takes different turns and leads to other thoughts mostly completely unrelated to the first thought. I have often wondered if I don't have some form of adult ADD. It is frustrating sometimes because my thought patterns make it very difficult for me to have long conversations or write long letters or long posts or anything that requires too much thought on one subject. That is one reason my best friend and I get along so well, she thinks like I do. I think it would be hard for a stranger to follow our conversations because we jump form one subject to another, just the way our minds do! Anyway I tell you all that to sort of explain to you why this post is going to be all over the place. Just some random things that are in my head and have been going on that I would like to share.

I got a freakin' ticket this morning. No, not when I was going 80 miles an hour on the interstate or when I changed lanes with out using my turn signal or when I made a u-turn in the middle of the street because I realized that I forgot my watch. No, no, no not for any of that, thankfully! No I got a ticket when I rolled through a stop sign leaving my mother-in-laws house this morning. They were staking out this stop sign unbeknownst to me and many other bewildered stop sign runners. He had the nerve to say that I did not even slow down. WHATEVER you jackass, just write me the damn ticket and let me get on to work! I did not even argue with him, which is so unlike me. I could not come up with a creative story to tell him as to the reason that I ran it or anything. I wish I could have came up with something like Martha in the backseat told me that the coast was clear. What is that officer, you don't see anyone in my backseat. Well how can you not see her she is a 6'4" tall dinosaur for goodness sakes. If you can't see her then are you sure you saw me run the stop sign. I mean really how can you be sure. Yeah I couldn't even come up with anything close to that. Oh the frustration. I did call the court and the ticket is $63.00. That just chaps my ass, but I did manage to call my sister-in-law and warn her so she did not meet my same fate. Sure enough the person in front of her ran the stop sign and out they came, blue lights flashing and all. They must have thought she was really dangerous because the second cop car came too. Glad to know I didn't require back-up to be called!

So as I am on my way back to work from lunch I am deep in thought. (Yes I did remember to stop at the stop sign when I was leaving.) I am not a supersticious person (you can probably tell that because I am sure that I misspelled it and really don't care). There are some things though that for one reason or another stick out in your head when you hear them. You know those old wives tales. Like the one my mom told me once, you know the one about if you leave something at home, don't go back for it, it is bad luck. Yeah you see maybe I jinxed myself this morning when I went back and got my watch that I made a u-turn for right in the middle of the street. I actually almost did not go back and get it because I did not want to bring myself bad luck. but what the hell, you have to live dangerously sometimes. I should not have went back and my day probably would have been better, except for the fact that I would not know what time it is.

When I got to work this morning, finally after the cop gave me my ticket and all, our computer was down. Fabulous, a few of the other ladies in the office come in at 8 so they had been here for 30 minutes unable to work, because I am the only one that knows how to get it all back up and running. Great to be important and needed, much job security here! In all fairness my boss and my office assistant know how to get it all going again too, but the boss is out of town and the assistant comes in the same time as me (8:30). Once I got it all going everyone was happy, well as happy as you can be at work that is. It has been a bad week at work, I mean really stressful. To the point that I either wanted to start drinking on the job or start back on anxiety medicine. It has been so bad this week that I have had to call out my evil twin personality to handle some things. Now that is bad. I usually try to be sugary sweet with people and get things handled, but in a very nice way. Well I have over used curse words and been very demanding with some people. I pretty much told some of the support people at our software company that they are a bunch of idiots and I could do their job better than them and then I slammed the phone down. We have changed over to a new server this week, with a different operating system. Same basic programs, but new system. As always with a new system there are problems, mostly small things, but when you call them they act like you are speaking jibberish and they can't understand your problem. So this has been going on since ummm Tuesday. Yeah makes for a fun week.

Okay I am sure that there are other things that I was going to post about, oh yeah my Granny, but I will save her for another day. I hope everyone has a great stress-free weekend!!!

The time has come...

Yes the time has come to finally buy the bigger carseat. The time has probably honestly been here for a while, but for many reasons I have procrastinated. One of the main reasons that I have procrastinated is the convenience that the infant seat offered. When you get to the store you just take out the seat put it in the cart and you are ready to shop. That is until said infant starts wailing, then you end up taking the squirmy babe out and trying to hold him and push the cart. Oh how I miss the days when he would sleep during our little shopping excursions!

I knew the time was really today when on our way to my mother-in-laws this morning I look back at my little sweet angel and he has managed to pull down the middle harness part and has gotten his arm nearly completely out of the strap of his infant seat. Do you think that is how Houdini got started??? So my little escape artist has forced me to go buy the big seat. I am not excited in the least bit about it. It means my baby is no longer a little baby, well honestly he never was a little baby. He weighed 8 lbs 9 ozs at birth and has been steadily growing since then. At 7 months old he weighs more than 18 lbs and he is more than 27 inches tall. Yeah he isn't a little baby, but he is growing up so fast and I just want to keep him little just a bit longer. Pic is when he was 4 months old, that was 3 months ago!

My first picture!!!!

I feel so stupid now! I never knew how easy it is to post pictures on my blog. Thank you to everyone for all of your help! Of course the first picture that I post is of my sweet little angel. This was taken last Saturday. Enjoy!

I figured it out

I am so proud of myself. I figured out how to get my blogrolling links back in the sidebar. It only took me about 3 tries. But I got it!! WHOO HOO! Now if I could just figure out how to post pictures. Maybe one day I will take the time.

Can someone please help me?

Okay so I changed the template of my blog. Doesn't it look better? Well I don't know how to get my Daily Distractions blogroll back. That means I can't go and read my people. That is why I have not changed anything on this blog since I started it. I am not computer savvy. HELP ME PLEASE!

Leave my stuff alone

I get so aggravated at work when people mess with my stuff. I do have my own office, in the very front of the building. You have to walk through my office to get to the office with the fax machine, copier and postage machine. So I never have any real privacy or peace and quiet while I am here. It also means if someone can't find something in that area of the office they come to my office looking through my things for whatever it is that they need. I don't mind, really, I don't. Most everyday items are on top of my desk anyway, there is no need to go rifling through my drawers to look for things. I have had to go all over the office at times trying to track my stuff down. After my maternity leave I no longer owned a pair of scissors, they were really nice scissors too, everytime I have to cut something I miss them. I looked everywhere for them, they disappeared! I am really surprised that was all that was missing. Since I have returned to work I have taken my sharpie and written my name on all my stuff, you know like you have to do in kindergarten. You would think that grown people would know better than to take your stuff, but apparently they don't. Anyway let me get to the point of what has brought on this post. I had court this morning for work in the town that I live in, which is about 30 minutes from here. It would have been nice to just come in after that, but I had to come here anyway this morning because I had to take the babe to my mother-in-law's. So I was here for about 45 minutes before I had to leave. I left all my stuff pulled up on my computer because hello I was coming right back. So anyway when I get back someone is blasting Napster radio through my speakers and most of the things I had minimized were just closed out. It infuriated me! As most of you know I just got this new computer after I got back from maternity leave. My other one was so slow and I finally complained enough that I got a new one. One reason my other one was so slow was because everyone used my computer when I was away from it and dowloaded CRAP on it and opened some emails that had viruses attached, you get the picture. Anyway we tried several times to get all the stuff off of it, but we were never successful. I asked loud enough for the person to hear me, if she had been on my computer. Of course my office assistant said yes, she had been on my computer while I was out. GREAT! Anyway what do you do, she is the bosses daughter? She does no wrong. She is here cleaning, why does she need to be on my computer at all? I have comtemplated pasword protecting it, but there are times when someone really does need something on my computer and I would hate for them to have to track me down to get a password. Anyway that just really chaps my ass. This computer is not a play thing. It is what I have to work on 8 hours a day. It contains ALL of my work files and probably more personal files than it should. I finally have a good computer and I just really don't want it screwed up like the other one. I think it just shows a lack of respect for others and their stuff. That is my rant for the day. I hope you are having a good Monday!

Mixed emotions

I am a little sad and a little happy at the same time today. My baby has pretty much cut out his afternoon (4:00) bottle. He never really liked the bottle anyway, he just would rather have the real thing. Since his 6 month check-up he has been eating 3 meals a day of baby food and cereal and still breastfeeding also. Since I came back to work he has been taking a few ounces of milk at around 4 each day. Just enough milk to hold him over until I got there at 5:30 to give him the real thing! Anyway I have been pumping nearly everyday at around that time for a little over 5 months now. I decided yesterday after talking to my mother in law that there really was no need for me to pump anymore because he isn't eating it and we all know what a pain pumping can be sometimes. I was excited yesterday about it. Whoo Hoo no more feeling like a cow hooked up the the milk machine! This morning when I left the house without my breastpump I have to say it felt like I had left a vital part of me behind. Almost like I had left my purse or something. I haven't really thought about it that much, until I told my assistant that I would not be taking my afternoon break to pump anymore. The reality of it all hit me. I nearly burst into tears. It is all happening so fast, my child is growing up! He has a tooth now and he has given up his afternoon bottle, what's next? I will continue to breastfeed at least until he is a year old, or until we both decide that it is the time to stop. I hope it will be easier then, right now I just can't imagine.