It is that time again

Yes it is that time again. Hubby and I have been talking about visiting churches. We really need to be back in church. I enjoyed when we went to church. We stopped going because the Rector that we loved so much left and the one that they replaced him with is taking the church in a direction that we just were not sure was for us, also we moved to a different town about 30 minutes away. We really need to find a church closer to home. When we went to the church we were active in a few things, like the weekend lunch program. It was my favorite volunteer activity. I was a co-captain of a team with a wonderful guy named Dave. We prepared lunch on a Saturday and Sunday for whoeve wanted to come and eat. Usually it was homeless people, sometimes it was people down on their luck or people just passing through town. Anyway I got pregnant around the same time that Dave accepted a job out of state and so we gave up our lunch team and that was last year and I have not been involved in anything other than my family since then. We did visit a few churches while I was pregnant, and we went to one that we really liked, well what we saw of it we liked. I sort of had a little episode and left before the sermon was even preached. Anyway, I have decided to dig up that story for you. It is really very funny now, it wasn't at the time. Here it goes, from May 31, 2005 post:

Everyday with me is like a new adventure. You just never know what to expect. Hubby and I have discussed finding a church to start attending since we moved a year and a half ago. We visited one and hated it, and have not attempted to visit another one until last Sunday. We ironed our clothes on Saturday night and had everything ready for Sunday morning. We got up and got dressed and I must admit, we do clean up nicely! We got there and things were going fine, the church seemed nice enough. We sung a few songs, listened to a few announcements. Things were going great, and then the pastor got up and announced that it was a baptism service. Awe how wonderful, someone is going to be baptized. The family goes up there and it isn't just someone, it is a baby and a child of maybe about 3 or 4. So the pastor goes on to ask the questions that they ask and I am tearing up. Yeah hormones going full blast, not a good thing! So after the pastor is done he brings the children down the aisle of the church to show them to the congregation. Well seeing that sweet baby was just more than I could handle. All these things are going through my mind, pregnancy does that to you. It also hit me at that very minute that I am really having a baby. Anywho the pastor gets about 2 rows from us with the baby and I feel it, the real tears are coming. You know you can only silently cry for a little bit before it turns into sobbing. Well it turned into sobbing, one big horrendous noise escaped my body before I could shove my hubby out of the pew and out the door. It was so quiet in the church that you could have heard a pin drop, but instead they heard me sobbing as I ran for the door. We got outside and I think my hubby was in shock, I was still sobbing, I could not catch my breath, I thought I was gonna throw up. Then he starts laughing at me. I eventually calm down and blow my nose and regain my composure, and I started laughing too. We did not go back into the church, we left and got some lunch instead. I think we may try to go back next week, but only if there isn't a baptism on the bulletin. You see I told you never a dull moment with me.

Anyway that was why we didn't go back while I was pregnant. Then after the baby came we were reluctant to put him in the nursery with people that we didn't know, so we didn't go back. Well he is almost 10 months old now and it is time to try again. I have called the church and left a message for the lady over the nursery to call me back. You know what a worry wart I can be and I have a few questions about the nursery procedure, so as soon as my questions are answered we can begin planning for our return to church. I am excited, maybe it will be this Sunday!

Things I have never done

Here are a few things that I have never done. Some I am proud of, others I would like to do one day. I have never:

• Traveled to a foreign country. I have been to the Bahamas, so maybe I have done this one, but we were on a cruise so I did not have to get a passport or anything.
• Did any kind of illegal drugs. I have never even tried to smoke pot. Can you believe that? If you knew the people that I hung around with in high school or my ex-husband you would think that I was lying, but I am not. No drugs for me. I barely take any meds now. I still have pain meds left from my c-section last year!
• Flown on an airplane or flown on anything else for that matter. I would like to fly one day, but I am terrified!
• Swam naked in the ocean.
• went Skydiving which you probably figured since part of skydiving is flying in a plane. I think I would like to do this, one day, maybe.
• Been to a Rock n' Roll concert. I have been to country music concerts and the last concert I went to was Jim Brickman and he was awesome, but I would love to go see Aerosmith or the Rolling Stones or somebody like that.
• Had a big church wedding. The first time was at the court house, the second time was on top of a boat on a river in Tennessee.
• Been arrested. Yeah it is hard to believe sometimes.
• Told my hubby about this blog. I keep thinking that I will tell him, but I am afraid that he will be mad because I have had it nearly 2 years and I still haven't told him.

Anyway after doing all of those it seems like I am a boring person, but I swear I'm not. Please don't get offended by this list or think that I am trying to be a little miss goodie two shoes or anything, because I am not. I was just thinking about this today and I thought I would share.

Dear readers:

I don't want to write to Dear Abby with my questions, so I thought I would ask for your help with these problems.

1. Nipple erection- How do you deal with it? It seems to be worse since I started breastfeeding. It is embarrassing to me to walk around with my high beams on all day, but I don't know how to calm them down. Any ideas???
2. What do you say when people tell you that you have lost weight, not so much complimenting, but just making the statement that whoa you have lost weight? Indeed I have lost weight, not because I was really trying or anything, but hey the weight is gone and you won't hear me complain. Anyway people are always commenting on my weight loss and I really don't know what to say. Should I say something like, "I know I was such a fat ass before."
3. How do you handle compliments on yourself and your children? I usually just blush and say thank you, uncomfortably.
4. What do you do when people honk their horns at you? Is it okay to flip them the middle finger and give them a nast look?

You see I need your help dear readers for these are problems that I am dealing with a LOT lately and I don't know how to deal with them. Thank you in advance for any words of wisdom that you can give me.

Archiving it

Do you ever read your own archives? Well I don't normally either, but hey there is some good stuff in there that I had completely forgotten about and some really funny stuff too. I had forgotten that I chronicled all my months of trying to get pregnant there. I guess I felt like my secret would be safe with you all out there in cyberspace. You see hubby and I did not tell anyone in our families that we were trying to get pregnant. I just did not want to have to deal with all the questions, you know the ones. Are you pregnant yet? and so on from there, so we kept it a secret until we were certain that we were pregnant. Anyway it is all in my archives, as well as the history of nearly the past 2 years of my life. So if you are bored and need something to read feel free to read my past post, you might find something you like. If you do leave the date in comments so I can go back and read it too. Thanks for reading me!!!

Complete Randomness

I think today I will use bullets to seperate the complete randmoness. Happy Thursday!

• Maybe the doctor that made me feel like a bad parent was on to something, or on something, who knows. Anyway, we took his advice and after the last bad night that I wrote about (Sunday night), my little one has been sleeping through the night. I am having to wake him up most mornings so I can leave for work. Yeah so maybe he was right and my little one is capable of going more than 5 hours without my booby juice. I am happy to be sleeping all night again, for the first time since my last trimester in pregnancy. It is F A B U L O U S!
• My hubby's grandad is back in the hospital. He got out last Friday. He had a doctors appointment on Tuesday and they told them to take him to the hospital ASAP. He was very swollen, his feet and hands and midsection. Turns out he has congestive heart failure, which was making him swell because of all the IV fluids he received in the hospital. So he is back in the hospital, hopefully he will be home soon. Please keep him in your prayers.
• We went to visit Grandad last night after work and the entrance to the hospital where we parked is the same entrance for the OB part of the hospital. The last time I was there was the morning that my son was born. This time I was pushing him in his stroller, a little more than 9 months later.
• Hubby likes his new job. This is his 3rd week there and things are really going well. We work in the same town now, so he brings me stuff like sweet tea and Frostys. I LOVE IT!
• Hubby's birthday is coming up soon and I don't know what to get him. He knows we don't have a lot of money so that puts me in a bad situation. Anyway, I guess I will just take the kids and let them pick him out a few things.
• Is there a nice way to tell someone that they have body odor? If I had BO I would want someone to tell me, but I don't know how to tell anyone else.
• I love Pandora. This music website is awesome. If you have never heard of it, go there. It is www.pandora.com. Keeps me entertained all day at work.
• I have also registered on our FreeCycle group for my town. I don't know if you have heard of FreeCycle or not. It seems pretty cool. A good way to get rid of things that you don't need and a good way to get something for free that you do need. Thanks K for talking about it the other day. I will be going through my closets this weekend and posting some things. I am so excited! (did the exclamation point give it away?)
• I also found some new cool blogs to read thanks to MissZoot. She has this thing going on now to pimp out blogs that you read. Anyway thanks Zoot I found a few great ones that I had never read before.

I guess that concludes this broadcast of complete randomness. Hope you enjoyed it!

Bittersweet

We went shopping Saturday for a few fall items of clothing for my little boy. We hope that fall will be here before we know it, bringing with it cool nights and comfortable days. As I was searching the racks for clothing in his size it hit me, no more cute little footed sleep 'n play outfits for him this fall. No more little one piece rompers. None of the cute little outfits that make him look well like a baby. No he is a big boy now and we have to get him pants and shirts and things that look like a big boy and not my little baby anymore. I was trying not to cry as I picked him out a pair of jeans, a pair of khakis and 2 pairs of overalls. My hubby walked over and was browsing through the rack with me and I was trying to tell him that I hate the bigger size clothes and I got all choked up. I hate to cry over such crazy stuff.

When I got him ready for bed Saturday and he was finished nursing and I sat with him in my lap snuggled up close to my body, his head resting on my chest and my cheek against his forehead, I prayed for time to stop, just for a minute, just so I could enjoy this moment in the quiet and darkness with my little baby. I held him for what seemed like an eternity and cried. I closed my eyes and breathed him in. I was trying to memorize his smell and his breathing and the little noises that he makes when he is so relaxed and asleep. I have to steal these moments when he is asleep because when he is awake he is in constant motion and does not want to snuggle up and just be my sweet little baby boy. There is an entire world to explore.

Then Sunday as we were playing with his Drop 'n Roar dinosaur he finally mastered the skill of dropping the balls in the holes and making the lights and music play. I just sat back and my hubby and I watched him in amazement. It seems like everyday he has mastered a new skill or learned some new thing. He can now wave, mostly random, but hey the wave is the wave. He can clap and he gives kisses. He crawls faster than any baby I have ever seen. He pulls up on everything and even stands up on his own in the middle of the floor. He has not taken his first steps yet, but they are just around the corner.

The joys of watching your child grow up can be so bittersweet.
**Note the blanket under him. That is his blankie and we take blankie everywhere. He even cralws around with it. He is attached to his blankie. My hubby and I both had blankies as children so I guess the apple does not fall far from the tree on that one. He is my little Linus!

We are bad parents!

Okay it is official, my hubby and I are bad parents. Friday was my sweet little boy's 9 month well baby check-up. He weighs 20 lbs 7 ozs and he is 30" tall. Yes he is a big boy. At his doctors visit I discussed with the pediatrician that he still isn't sleeping through the night. After examining the boy, he said there was no physical reason why he isn't sleeping through the night. He said it was developmental. A nice way to say that we have not done our jobs as parents and let him figure out how to get himself back to sleep. I asked him if it could be the teething, he said it was doubtful, but if we wanted to blame it on that we could use that excuse until he was about 2 1/2. Yeah the pediatrician seemed to be in an ill mood Friday, he is usually very nice and patient. He really made me feel bad. He said we need to do the cry and wait thing. You know when he wakes up turn down the monitor and let him cry for 10 minutes the first night and then 15 the second night and so on until either he cries the rest of the night or he realizes that we are not coming to comfort him and he goes back to sleep. I told him I did not know if we could do that or not and he said we could do whatever we wanted that it was not his sleep getting disrupted.

So, we are up to 15 minutes now. I guess tonight it will be 20 minutes. Friday and Saturday night went fine, he woke up once each night and we waited and he easily went back to sleep after I nursed him. Last night was a different story, he just could not settle himself back down and go back to sleep. I was up with him from 12:30 am until nearly 3 am. I picked him up and tried rocking him at first, he calmed down and got very still, but would not go to sleep. So I tried to put him back in his crib, MISTAKE! He screamed his head off. I gave him his pacifier and blankie and told him to go night-night. I went back to my room and turned down the monitor. I lay there for a few minutes while he screamed his head off. Of course I could not go to sleep either knowing that he was crying. So I went back in there, this time determined not to pick him up, but to sit with him and maybe he would go to sleep knowing that I was there. I stood by his crib and turned on his aquarium thing and he looked at me and finally closed his eyes. I tiptoed out of the room and crawled back into my bed. 15 minutes later he was crying again. So I waited and waited.

Finaly I went in his room and he was sitting there in the middle of his crib, just wailing. I gave him a pacifier and his blankie and once again turned on the aquarium and stood by his bed. Well, my back was aching and my feet were too, so I sat in the floor by his crib and rested my head on its bars. He lay there for a few minutes and then he was up. He reached out of the crib and grabbed my face and stood up and jumped in the bed a few times. I kept quietly telling him it was time to go to night-night. He would sit down and lean over and lay his head down and still not go to sleep. So at around 2, I laid him down and gave him his blankie and I went back to my bed. I told hubby that he was just going to have to cry it out because I HAD to get some sleep. So after about 20 minutes I could not take it anymore and I got my pillow and headed to the sofa. I thought I would go in there every few minutes and lay him back down and tell him to go night-night. That would eventually work right? Yeah it did after about 3 times. I was finally able to get back in my bed about 3 and he slept until a little after 6. I nursed him and he went back to sleep until about 7:15.

I am trying to cut out the middle of the night breastfeeding. I know that is one reason that he keeps waking up. The doctor assured me that he is not hungry and that he should easily be able to go the 10 hours or so at night without breastfeeding. Anyway so officially I am a bad parent. I just can't stand for my child to cry, and apparently my child knows that. Maybe the good doctors advice on the wait and cry thing will work and I will be getting like 8 hours of sleep real soon. I will let you know.

Request to my co-workers

I can do this because none of them read this or even know what a blog is for that matter! Here are a few things that I wish I could say to them, but for obvious reasons I can't.

1. When you hover to pee, and I know who you are, PLEASE WIPE YOUR URINE OFF THE FREAKIN' SEAT. Nobody and I do mean nobody wants to sit in your piss. It is fine if you have a toilet seat phobia, although we other co-workers are the only ones using our restroom and our toilets do get cleaned regularly, yes even the toilet seats, by yours truly. Anyway PLEASE for the sake of everyone else either hold it or realize what a nasty mess you are making and clean it up. (This co-worker is also the first to point a finger at anyone else doing anything "nasty" or leaving a mess.)
2. When you heat something up in the microwave, DO NOT WALK AWAY FROM IT. I repeat, DO NOT WALK AWAY FROM IT. You are always burning something up in there and it makes the entire office smell for days. When whatever you are heating up gets all over the inside of the microwave, please wipe it out. DISGUSTING!
3. If you brush your hair in the bathroom for the love of all that is holy and good in this world, please get your hair off the sink. I cannot stand for there to be hair on the bathroom sink or floor for that matter.
4. Does your nose not work? Are you having sinus problems perhaps? Those shoes that you wear all the time make your feet smell like a pissed off skunk. They are funking the place up and I just want to vomit when I get close to you.
5. STOP CALLING ME TO TELL ME SHIT THAT I DO NOT CARE ABOUT. Just because I work with you, I don't want to know about EVERYTHING in your life. I am sorry that you have a yeast infection or whatever is making your private regions itch, but honestly I don't care.
6. If you see something somewhere that needs to be wiped off or looks dirty, take 2 seconds of your precious time and do it! Are you too good to pitch in and make our workplace a little cleaner or am I the only one who gives a damn?
7. The reason that you can't get anything done is because you spend entirely too much time on personal phone calls. Yeah, so don't complain at the end of the month when you have not met your goal. I bet if you would spend less time on the phone telling your family what you are doing after work and more time making business calls, you would be a lot closer to your goal. Just a suggestion.

That is all that I would like to tell them right now. Maybe it will make me feel better about them at least I have gotten it out of my system.

Spoiled Rotten

Yeah that's me. I am sitting at my desk eating a Vanilla Frosty from Wendy's. Why am I doing that you wonder. Well because hubby called to ask me where he should go for lunch and I told him that Wendy's would be good because they have a new Vanilla Frosty and it is CHEAP! Well he doesn't eat a lot of ice cream, so he tells me that he doesn't want one, but he wonders if I would like one. I of course tell him no I don't want one, I was just letting him know that they have them. So a few minutes ago he calls me to tell me to come out the door and he will be there with my Vanilla Frosty. YAY! I love that man because he does sometimes spoil me and it is grrreatttttttt! As he handed me the frosty and I smiled this HUGE smile, he told me that I was so spoiled! Oh well, it is all his fault.

The Pastor's Ass

The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won. The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in another race , and it won again. The local paper read: ......
PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT.

The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the pastor not to enter the donkey in another race. The next day, the local paper headline read: .....
BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR'S ASS.

This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the pastor to get rid of the donkey. The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent. The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the next day: .....
NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN.

The Bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she would have to get rid o f the donkey, so she sold it to a far mere for $10. The next day the paper read: .....
NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.

This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild. The next day the headlines read: .....
NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE.

Alas, the Bishop was buried the next day.

MORAL OF THE STORY?
Being concerned about public opinion can bring you much grief and misery and even shorten your life. So, be yourself and enjoy life ... stop worrying about everyone else's ass and you'll live longer and be a lot happier!

I thought we could all use this today!

Sleep, sleep, where art thou?

Yes, I know I have posted about it so many times, I have lost count. I miss my sleep so much that I have had a headache for 2 weeks. My little boy is not a good sleeper. When he wakes up he wants someone to hold him and comfort him and rock him until he goes back to sleep. That is our routine every night. He goes to sleep around 8:30 or 9 and he usually awakens anytime from 1:30 until around 3 or 3:30. Then after he is fast asleep and so am I he wakes up again at around 5 or 5:30. Last night he went to sleep at 9, woke up at 1:30, 3:30, 5:30 and he did not go back to sleep until our drive to my MIL's. You see this is really wearing me out. I only get about maybe 3 continuous hours of sleep, because I have to get up for work at around 6.

He does this even on the weekends, he is awake every morning at least by 7, which would not be so bad if he had not been awake so much during the night. I have tried numerous things to get him to sleep longer and a few months ago he actually did. I am sure that I posted about it, I wanted to shout it from the roof tops. Yes just a few short months ago he would sleep for around 7 or 8 hours at a time, wake up, nurse and fall fast asleep for another few hours. Now, not a chance in hell. Although I must admit that this sleep pattern is better than a few weeks ago when he refused to be put down in his crib to sleep. Yeah that was fun! Co-sleeping is not for me. So we got over that hurdle, he now sleeps with his door open and a light on in the bathroom across the hall. I thought maybe he was afraid of the dark. I am afraid of the dark, he could be too. Well that was fine for a night or 2 and now we are back where we started. I thought maybe it was the teething, but he now has 4 teeth and I don't think we are due anymore teeth for a month or so.

SO I ASK YOU SWEET LITTLE BABY BOY OF MINE, WHAT IN THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM? ARE YOU TRYING TO DRIVE ME INSANE? It is so frustrating, if something is wrong he can't tell me what it is. So what do you do? I have tried Mylicon for gas, Teething tablets for teething pain, Tylenol for what-ever else it could be. Nothing has worked. Am I going to have to just let him cry it out? I think that will truly drive me the remainder of the distance to insane. I can not stand to hear him cry! Have I failed miserably in teaching him how to self soothe and get himself back to sleep? Do I suck as a parent?

We go to the doctor on Friday for his 9 month well-baby check-up, so I will see what he says. Maybe something is really wrong with him, but he does not have a fever or anything so how do you know? Anyway, if anyone finds my missing sleep please send it to me, I need it desperately.

**Also if you will, please pray for my hubby's grandfather, he is in his late 80s and has to have his gall bladder removed today. Please pray that everything goes smoothly. I will update as soon as I know something.

***UPDATE: As of last night Grandpa was doing well. They were able to remove the gallbladder laparoscopically (SP?) and he was off the respirator last night. Hopefully he will recover quickly from this. Thank you for all your prayers and thoughts.

I know I need to post something good today. I need to just sit down and come up with the most brilliant post ever written, but I just don't have the focus today to do that. I had a rather lengthy conversation with my Mom Wednesday about my 2 middle sisters. I wrote about one of the sisters last week and I don't think I have ever written about the other one, she is really not worth the time or energy. Anyway, Mom was telling me all this CRAP that is going on in their lives, which they have brought on themselves. I in no way feel sorry for them, I wish my mom would just cut them off and only see them when she has to. I know that isn't going to happen because after all she carried them for 9 months and gave birth to them and raised them, so she cannot separate herself from them. They are going to be the reason my mom goes to an early grave. Anyway as you can see I have too much CRAP on my mind to be able to post anything wonderful today. I have a major stress headache! So I will post a few pics. Hope you enjoy them.

This is my side yard in the spring. Oh I miss the nice mild weather of the spring!

Of course this is my dog.

I don't have any really recent pics of the babe so I will post an old one.

Hope everyone has a good weekend.

Tag I'm it

I borrowed this from Hoosiergirl (The Coffee Table). I would link to her, but I don't know how. I will be learning soon though, it can't be that hard!

What were you doing 10 years ago?
I was 20 and I was married to my first husband, working second shift in a factory making zippers and going to college in the mornings. I had a very busy life.

What were you doing 1 year ago?
I was anxiously anticipating the arrival of my baby in November. We were readying the nursery and making lists of all the things we wanted and needed for our little angel.

Five snacks that I enjoy:
Krispy Kreme doughnuts
Ice Cream
Cool Ranch Doritos
Lime Tortilla chips and salsa
Cake, any kid except chocolate

Five songs to which I know all the lyrics:
It is really hard to pick five, I know so many songs. I am always singing something. I will pick five off the top of my head.
Somewhere Over The Rainbow...by Judy Garland
Fire and Rain...by James Taylor
Margaritaville...by Jimmy Buffet
Hips Don't Lie...by Shakira
You Are My Sunshine...I don't know who originally sung it, but I sing it to my baby all the time.

Five things I would do if I were a millionaire:
Pay off all my debts
Buy about 50 acres of land and build a house in the very middle of it
Buy a new car (mine is 10 years old)
Hire a maid and a yard crew (no housework, no yardwork)
Build a new house for my mom and get her a new car too
Put money in a college fund for each of my neices
Okay I know that was more than 5, but I could probably do a whole page of things that I would like to do if I were a millionaire.

Five bad habits:
Swearing, like a sailor at times
Not being able to budget
Eating out too much, fast food is just too easy
Not washing my face before I go to bed
Eating the five snacks that I enjoy

Five things I like doing:
Spending time with my children and hubby
Reading books and blogs
Baking
Sewing (yes I like to sew)
Shopping

Five things I will never wear again:
Bikini
Tube top
Leggings
Leg warmers
Mini Skirt

Five favorite toys:
Cell phone
My baby, he is my favorite toy
I can only come up with two, I don't have a lot of gadgets or toys.

If you want to do this little thing, feel free and let me know so I can check out your answers!

9 Months

My sweet little angel is 9 months old today. He has changed so much since he came into this world. I have changed so much since he came into this world. I think the changes in me are for the better. Who knew I would learn to function on less than 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep and still manage to smile? Who knew I would be happy to get up at 6:30 am on the weekends? So many other things that I have learned from my little one. He is so mobile now. If you walk out of the room, he crawls along behind you. He is pulling up on everything and cruising along the edges of the furniture. He tries to let go, but he isn't ready yet, nor am I. I don't think I am ready for him to take those first steps. He has 4 teeth that are all showing. He is so happy most of the time. I try to remember now what we did before we had him, he has added so much to our lives. He has filled my heart with a love that I never imagined.

The other sister

Tomorrow is my sister's birthday. Happy early birthday D. I mailed her card this morning, so she will get it tomorrow. She will be 33. She is 3 years older than me, but years less mature than me. I have always wondered if maybe she has ADHD that was never diagnosed or maybe a learning disability or maybe she is autistic. Not Rainman autistic, but autistic in a different way. She was born daughter number 3 in our family of 4 girls, a middle child. My other sisters were 8 and 5 when she was born. She is the sister closest to my age so she was my playmate when we were growing up. She always had a great imagination, she was fun to play with. We would play house for hours, the entire acre of our yard belonged to us and we created an entire city, even if only in our minds. If I close my eyes I can still see our playhouses and the bakery and gas station and doctors offices and bank. Yes we had very rich imaginations. Our bikes were the newest and best cars that money could buy. We had an endless supply of money to shop and spend anyway that we liked. Our money was leaves from the pecan tree with the low branches. We had a restaurant complete with a drive thru. So much fun we had together as children.

Then we started growing up and things started happening in our lives, we started growing apart. Our daddy died when I was 8 and she was 11, I think it affected her more than me. Maybe because she was older she was more aware of the things going on around us. Maybe it was that single tragic event that affected her so greatly that she has refused to grow up.

We always went to the same school and rode the same bus. Yet at school we were not really friends. Who wants to hang out with their little sister at school, really? Anyway she always had a problem in school, she never got good grades. I on the other hand was always on the honor roll, always winning awards, always the teacher's pet. Can you imagine that? She failed the 7th grade and the 9th grade, the only one in our family to ever fail a grade and she failed two of them. So I just about caught her, we graduated one year apart. Her senior year we got kind of close again. We would eat breakfast together while we waited on the bus that year.

Yes we rode the bus most of the time. I did not get a car until my senior year and my mom would not let me drive her car to school, only to work. My sister never got a car because she did not have her drivers license. She had no desire to drive, she finally got her license when she was about 20. She still does not own a car and when she has acess to one she does not like to drive. I got my license 2 days after I turned 16 and I will drive anything with a steering wheel. I started working 2 weeks after my 16th birthday and have successfully had a job since my first job. My sister has never really worked, she has had a few jobs here and there, but she gets nervous dealing with people and money and so she has not found anything that she was good at. She did go to cosmetology school and graduated, yet failed her state board test and never got her license or even attempted to take the test again. She has never really had anything material, material things just don't matter much to her. As long as she has a t.v., Mountain Dew, and frozen pizzas and potato chips she is happy as she can be.

Don't get me wrong she is not stupid, per say. She can recite more movies than most people can even remember seeing. You need a joke, she is the one to go to. You need to make up a funny song about someone or something, she can help you out. You want to know about a Saturday Night Live skit, she is your girl. She can't carry on an inteligent conversation with anybody over the age of 5. She has no clue about the real world.

Even though we have the family connection in common, that is where it ends for us. Since I have grown up we have no common bonds. I only see her when we have a family function, like birthday parties or holiday gatherings. She lives next door to my mom in my mom's other house. My mom pretty much takes care of her, which really gets under my skin. GET OFF YOUR SORRY ASS AND GET A JOB. There has to be something that she can do, like be a cleaning lady at a hotel or work at a daycare, she is great with kids. Anyway she has no ambition. It does not bother her that she has nothing. It does not bother her that she has no job. Like I said earlier as long as she has her junk food and t.v. she is happy.

As I was sitting down last night to write in her card I could not come up with one damn thing to say to her. That is sad to me, she is my sister. We should have this unbreakable bond. What do you say to someone that you have nothing in common with? Anyway I reminisced about the past and wished her a happy birthday, which I really hope she has.

Good scents and bad scents

When a co-worker came in this morning she smelled just wonderful. I immediately ran into her office and demanded she tell me what smelled so good. She pulled out this little bottle of Bath and Body Works Orange Ginger Aromatherapy lotion. Let me tell you it smells so fresh and clean. WHOOO! So she gave me the bottle, said she had the big bottle at home. She didn't have to brag and all, but I gladly took the small bottle so now I smell all Orange-gingery. MMMMMM

Then I went to the restroom a few minutes ago and a different co-worker had put some lotion or something on and it too is Aromatherapy, but it is supposed to be for relaxation. I think it is Lavender-Vanilla scented. IT IS WAY TOO STRONG AND OVERPOWERING. It makes me want to projectile vomit. UGHHHHHH. Enough is enough already. She frequently puts this scent on in her office. Once she was just trying to be helpful and she sprayed my arms and shirt with it. YEAH, I try so hard to be nice to people, but sometimes they really test me. So I proceeded to thank her and tell her how wonderful it smelled and then I promptly went into the restroom and bathed myself in the sink. I HAD TO GET THE FUNK OFF OF ME. I had a nice headache the rest of the day from that stinky stuff. I know scent is a personal preference and you may just love that scent and if you do that is great, just please don't spray me with your bottle of it. I would rather be sprayed by a skunk, honestly. Thanks for the offer though.