Bummed out

I was so excited yesterday. My period was 3 days late. We just knew we were pregnant. We went to the drug store after I got off work and bought a pregnancy test. Went home and peed on the stick, it was negative. We bought the 2 pack so we could do it again this morning. Well there was no need to retest, I started my period at some point last night. I am feeling bummed and sad. We were very excited about the idea of having a baby. My husband was so sweet this morning, he said that when the time is right it will happen. I can't help but doubt myself. What if I am not meant to have children? What if I never have a baby? When I was younger I hated children and always hoped that I would never get pregnant. People say to be careful what you wish for.

It has only been about 6 months that we have been trying, so we have 6 more months to go before the doctor will do any fertility testing. He said that 50% of couples that are trying to conceive do so in the first 6 months, and the other 40% within a year and then there is the 10% that need some sort of fertility treatment. I am thinking of getting an ovulation test kit next month, maybe I am not ovulating. My husband thinks that it is him. He is a type 1 diabetic and he has been for 24 years, so his sperm count may be low or nonexistent. It is fun trying to get pregnant, I like practicing, but it is so heartbreaking every month when you start your period. We have only told a few of our friends that we are trying, we don't want our families to know until we actually conceive, if we ever do. It cuts down on the questions and the looks of disappointment every time we see them. Hopefully we will have good news soon enough, until then we will have fun trying.