I am dealing with some issues lately in my mind. I want to know where my ex-husband is and how he is doing. Afterall we did share many (like 5 or 6) years together. His mom and I still email each other occassionally, so I could email her and ask about him. I have not told her that I have a baby, I just don't know that I want him to know. Not that I am ashamed of my baby, but the less he knows about me the better off we all are. Am I crazy to want to know that he is alright? A small part of me will always care about him and wonder. After we separated and divorced I talked to him at least every few weeks. Sometimes we would talk about absolutely nothing, you know the way you do to friends sometimes. It is just hard to not know about the person that you once vowed to love for the rest of your life. I am not still hung up on him or anything like that, our divorce was the best thing that could have happened to me. I have grown so much as a person since then. I would not trade my life now with my husband and children for anything in the world, I am truly happy. So I guess I should just leave well enough alone.
Amazing how so many years after a relationship is over you still wonder about the person. The James Blunt song "Goodbye My Lover" makes me think about him. The part about holding your hand at night, while you are asleep. I remember when things were at the very end he had gotten home from work before I had to leave and he told me that he didn't want to be married anymore. I was shocked to say the least, but our marriage had been over for at least a year prior to this day. I just always thought that I would be the one to make the final decision, since I was the one that took him back when we were separated. Anyway he stayed at the house with me that weekend and I remember just lying in bed beside him and crying and holding his hand and knowing that when he left on Sunday it would really be over. And for all intents and purposes it was.
3 comments:
oh sunshine....just because someone is no longer actively in your life, does not mean they also are no longer active in your memory
We all have a past..and a past is part of your life, it's only natural to wonder what he is up to...I don't know if I would ask though--could the "wrong" answer hurt you???
I think it's very normal to wonder about a past relationship. Being married doesn't cause a big eraser to wipe out the memory of your past.
oh wow, you need to read my post about my 2nd ex (really long story as to why I have 2 ex's)...my first ex is the father of my kids, so unfortunately i see him all the time (too much!)....
my 2nd ex and i had drifted apart until he called me and told me he has cancer...now we are talking almost every day and i have been down to visit him.
everyone has some good memories of an ex-partner.
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