My mom called me overprotective last week. I started crying and then tried to explain to her that he is my only child and it is my job to protect him. She had to keep him for a couple of hours last Thursday and Friday because MIL was out of town. My mom enjoys doing this because it means she gets to see her only grandson, without me around to distract him. Anyway she asked me on Wednesday if it would be alright with me if she took him to my sister's house. Not the sister in jail or the one on drugs, but the one that has a good career and a husband and children. This sister lives about 30 miles from here in a very rural area. A very rural area that the roads are frequently filled with speeding semi trucks. That just scares me. Add to that the fact that honestly I don't like anyone driving with my babe in the car and the answer to your question would be no, he can't go. My question was why doesn't sister come here to see him? It is just as far for you to go as it is for her, isn't it? The road travels both ways! My mom said she didn't think my MIL would want everyone at her house when she wasn't there. Who is everyone, my one sister and her little girl? Who else were you planning on inviting?
I think really that my mom was planning on taking him to her house and we all know that is strictly off limits unless I am there. The day may come when I may have to let him be there without me, but it won't be for a very, very long time. Anyway if being overprotective means that I love my child and I only want what is best for him and I want him to be in a positive, loving environment 24/7, then yes I am overprotective. I can't help it.
I was also talking to an aquaintance Friday who has a 4 month old. She lets her spend the night frequently with her grandparents. She let her go to a different state with her relatives when she was only 2 months old! Am I the only one who sees something wrong with that? I have never spent the night away from my son and he is 1. He slept in our room until he was 4 or 5 months old because I could not stand the thought of him being so far away in his own room. He has only stayed with 4 people other than me and his dad and they were all relatives and he was only a few minutes from my office. Am I weird? Am I too attached? I don't think so, I just love my child and because a majority of my day is spent working away from him I want to spend all the time away from work with him. Is that so wrong??? I do go out to eat with the hubby occassionally and we spend quality time together on the weekend after the babe is asleep at night and during nap time. I take time for me when I start to feel stressed out at home. Maybe I am overprotective. All I know is I love my babe and I just want what is best for him!
11 comments:
Don't be so hard on yourself. It is perfectly natural to feel the way you do. Your mom understands you better than she is showing, she was probably just annoyed because you didn't let her do what she wanted.
16 years ago, MY mother told me I was being overprotective because...(are you ready for this one?) I insisted we put Joseph IN HIS CAR SEAT. Yep, that's right.
Stick to your guns.
Everything will shake out in the end.
J.
I can't really accuse you of being "overprotective" since I don't know my own habits as a mother yet, but I think that you're doing a good job looking out for your little one.
NO WAY are you overprotective, at least not for those reasons. I STILL haven't gone out to dinner or anything without my son. We will be getting his first babysiter for my company's end of year party in December. I haven't spent a night away from him. I have a hard time leaving him with my mom so that I can take a 5 minute run to the grocery store! THat mom who can let her child leave the state without her? I think she's strange. Not you.
My mother does the same. My husband doesn't like to let Ally (3 yrs old almost (sniff)) go there because he doesn't trust her to obey our commands not to take her out. It's not just a mom thing. There are some crazy drivers out there.
~Katie
My son slept in my bed until he was almost a year old. My daughter is seven months old and I still co-sleep with her.
You're not overprotective. You're a great Mother. Do what your heart and head tell you to do and never listen to anyone else.
Well, if you're overprotective, then so am I. There are only a very few people I would leave Isabella with, and she's three-months old and has never spent the night away from me (and she's still sleeping in our bedroom too!). Remember, you're his mom, and what you say goes. Don't let anyone tell you how to raise your son. Easier said than done, I know. :)
I am like that over a DOG...I won't let my sister drive with her....I can't even imagine how protective I would be over my child.....Let them say what they want he is YOUR child and you can parent how ever you see fit--for the record I am with you 100%
I just put my daughter in the Church nursery at 10 months but I only let her stay there for 30 minutes. I don't have a babysitter because I don't trust anyone. The people I do trust have children of their own.
I never thought I'd be so overprotective, but I am!
I think the word "overprotective" should be outlawed from the English language since, in my experience, it is generally used by people during attempted guilt trips. To me, overprotective must be something like never letting them out of the house, EVAR, just in case "something" happened.
Since you are a far shot from that, I think you are doing wonderfully and you can write off your mother's opinion as an attempted guilt trip.
I don't think that you are overprotective - you are just a mommy! I still have not spent a night away from my son and he is 16 months. And by the way, we still co-sleep from time to time. However, for the friend of yours that has let her 4 month old do all those other things, that is ok too. To each his/her own, I always say. We're all just trying to do what we think is best for our little ones.
He's still a baby! We are still pretty selective about who my daughter stays with and what she does. We did let her stay the night, or be kept at our house overnight by a grandparent when she was an infant, but only rarely. (For our anniversary.)
Ultimately he is your child, which means you get to decide where he goes and who he goes with. I think as he gets older you will slowly be able to let him spend more time away from you in the care of people you trust. But even then, the choice will be yours and you have to follow your instinct. Just do a reality check now and again and ask yourself are your reasons reasonable? Never feel guilty. You are doing great!
Post a Comment