Thursday, November 30, 2006

Stress is killing me

The stress at work is really bad lately. It is causing me tummy problems and headaches and insomnia. I DON'T LIKE IT! My boss is still out of course with his back surgery and I am trying to do it all. Today is my first month end that I have to do it all, and do it all alone. I am very stressed because our business is down and that makes the other employess ill and cranky. I could not eat supper last night because I felt EXTREMELY nauseated. I could not go to sleep because my mind was just racing about work. My head is hurting and I am certain that my blood pressure is up. It is all stress. I will be glad when today and tomorrow are over with so I can relax again. Pray for me, send me some positive thoughts and energy!

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Fear

Can I be really honest with you all? Will you go ahead and promise not to judge me or leave me nasty comments. Try to remember if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all. Anyway since getting pregnant last year and going through 9 months of pregnancy. Most of the months being during the summer (since it is summer the better part of the year here) and having my baby last November I have had an awful fear, I actually have several fears, but the one that I am focusing on today is: the fear of getting pregnant again. Hubby and I have discussed it and honestly we do NOT want any more children. I have fairly crappy insurance so having the surgery to remedy that fear from ever coming true is out of the question, for now anyway. Hubby has no insurance so he isn't getting snipped either. I spend a greater part of every month hoping and praying that the birth control is working and that my period will be right on time. I also avoid sex and that is not me. So far we have been lucky. I read all sorts of stories about people who were breastfeeding taking the progeterone only pills getting pregnant and I feared that would happen to me. It may seem crazy to some especially since it took us being off the bc pills for a little more than 9 months to get pregnant, but it really scares me. So now I am back on regular birth control pills and as soon as they have a chance to get my cycle regular and stop this ovulation then maybe I can relax and enjoy the sex with my hubby again. I have tried talking to him about it, but he does not understand the real fear that I have. He doesn't want anymore children either, but I don't think he quite understands the deep roots that the fear has for me. It is like the fear of spiders to a person that has arachnaphobia. I am also back on the happy pills so hopefully one day soon that fear will be gone and I can find something else to worry about.

Monday, November 27, 2006

Monday Musings

We had a great Thanksgiving. We went on a hayride. The weather was nice and warm so we did not freeze. The food was wonderful and I did not overeat. The babe was not whiny and cranky despite his shortened nap. It really was a nice day.

I did not get up early on Friday to go shopping. I know, I know I was really looking forward to it, blah, blah, blah. I sat down Thursday morning and looked at the sales papers and honestly, there wasn't anything worth me getting up that early for and having to fight the crowds. Have I really changed that much? I think I have. Now don't get me wrong, I still appreciate a good sale, but there really was nothing worth all the hassle to me. I instead opted for sleeping in with the babe and then cooking breakfast for my family. I had to come to the office for a few hours, so on the way we stopped at Target and picked up a few things that were on sale, but that was the extent of my black Friday shopping. I think I spent $30.00, whoo hoo I am the big spender! We got the decorations and the tree up at work and it really looks great. Well as great as a really old fake 6 foot tree can look. The lights really help, you are blinded by them so you don't notice the tree.

Saturday we went to my Mom's for my family's T-day dinner. It was nice and quiet. My oldest sister had to work, but her kids came and one of my other neices. It was so great to see my neices, 3 of the ones that were there are all teenagers now and we rarely see them anymore. My 2 middle sisters were there, but everyone got along with each other and we were all nice and cordial. There was no talk of jails or drugs, so I did not have to tell the hubby about all of that mess. He already doesn't like those sisters, I just hate to give him more reasons to dislike them. We also had the babe's small birthday party. He ate just a little bit of the cake that I baked for him, without the frosting of course. Frosting makes him gag, funny child!

A co-worker's mom died on Saturday, so Sunday I had to go to visitation at the funeral home. When I got there, I looked for anyone that I recognized and I did not see anyone, so I walked up and got in line. I thought maybe the family was in the room next to the viewing room and the only way to get there was to walk by the casket. So I stand there and wait and wait for what seems like an eternity, then finally the line starts moving. Guess what? It was not my co-worker's mom, I don't know who it was that I was waiting so patiently to see. I promptly got myself out of the line and looked around very embarrassed until I found someone who worked there and he pointed me in the right direction. I just laughed it off. I bet that other lady's family was trying to figure out who I was. Anyway I got that over with, I hate visitation and funerals, but it is a part of life and we can't always avoid them. Her mom had been sick for a while with Cancer and in this case her death was a blessing, she had suffered so much in the past few months. Still it is never an easy thing. I went to the funeral this morning and it truly was a beautiful service. She was a wonderful woman who lived a very full life and her funeral was a testament to that.

Also Sunday hubby got up on the roof and cleaned out the gutters. This is the first time this has been done since we bought the house in June of 2005. I would say it was VERY overdue. It looks so nice now. For a while when you looked out the windows it looked like we lived in a grass hut what with all the pine straw hanging over the edges of the gutters. I HATE PINE TREES. The next extra couple of thousand dollars we have to spend will be spent on having a few of them removed. Now that the gutters are cleaned, we can start putting up the lights! YAY! He hopes to get started on that this afternoon. We have so many decorations for outside and inside, it will take us a while to get them all up. I need to get up in the attic and get down the boxes of decorations so I can get started on the inside of the house after the babe goes to bed. We will get our tree this Friday, so I would like to have most of the rest of the decorations up by then.

I had to sign the Christmas cards at work today too. I think my hand is going to fall off. I think there are like 200 of them. I need a stamp with my name on it!

Not much else going on here. The babe has had a low grade fever this weekend. I think he is getting his molars. I could see the top of one peeking through his gums. Thank goodness he hasn't been really cranky, just feverish. Maybe the old wives tale worked! Someone told me after we had been suffering through the teething for like 8 teeth to take an egg out of the fridge. DO NOT BOIL IT. Let it get to room temp and write your child's name in it and put it in one of the child's socks. No not the socks that they are wearing, that would break the egg. Anyway then put the sock with the egg in it in a dark place in the child's room. I also heard to hang the sock over the child's doorway. I did neither of these. I wrote his name on the egg and it is still sitting on my kitchen counter behind some other stuff, where it has been for months now. I think that it helped with his teething though. These molars have been nothing compared to the other 8 that he has. Who knows? Just for the record, I don't normally do these wives tale things, but after you have suffered through a few sleepless nights of trying to comfort a teething baby, you will try anything, especially something as harmless as writing a name on an egg.

**Anwer to a question left in my comments. I started brushing my teeth in the shower a few years ago when we moved into our house. I think I started doing it because it seemed to save me time in the mornings and that was one less thing that I had to remember when I got out of the shower. I usually brush them at the end of the shower while I am rinsing my hair and body. Try it, it just might work for you too! Any other questions?

Friday, November 24, 2006

6 weird things about me

I have been tagged, thanks J. Although I am not good at following the rules, so I am not tagging anyone in return, if you want to do this, leave me a comment and I will come and check out your answers.

6 Weird things about me:

1. I don't eat mayonnaise. We don't have any mayonnaise in our house.

2. I have to be covered up to go to sleep in the bed, no matter how hot it is. I cannot sleep without cover.

3. I brush my teeth in the shower.

4. I have never used or sold illegal drugs.

5. I opted for a c-section instead of vaginal birth because I had a major fear of labor and delivery. That was not the reason that it was an option, but that was the reason I decided to have it.

6. I have a fear of being put to sleep. I worked in the OR in college and it was a SCARY, SCARY place.

So there you go. Did you learn anything new about me? If you do this meme on your blog, just let me know so I can see if you are weirder than me. Have a great weekend!

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Giving thanks

As Thanksgiving draws near this year I have so much to be thankful for. I have a wonderful loving family, beautiful children, a fabulous husband, wonderful in laws. I have a great job, albeit stressful at times, I love it and wouldn't want to work anywhere else. I have great health, nothing more than a minor cold or virus on occassion. I have a beautiful house, even though it is very messy because of that great job and wonderful family I have no time to clean it. We have everything that we need to get us through the day and at the end of everyday I try to remember to give thanks for all of my many blessings. I hope that everyone can find something to be thankful for. Sometimes we don't realize what we have.

Today is my 3 year anniversary. On this day 3 years ago I married my best friend. We ran away, so to speak, and got married. We did not go to Vegas, we went to Tennessee and got married on a riverboat. It was great. I did not tell any of my family that I was getting married. My best friend C, her hubby, my soon to be hubby, his mom and sister and his daughter all went to Tennessee for the weekend for the wedding. They were really the only ones that I wanted there. C stood by my side as I took my vows. I cried, she cried, my hubby cried. It was beautiful. I have the most wonderful husband in the world. I wouldn't trade him for anything in the world. He is the one that I call when things happen, good or bad. He is the calm in the midst of the storm in my life. When I am feeling scared or stressed, just hearing his voice makes me feel better. Seeing him with our children just makes me fall in love with him all over again. I hope he knows how much I love him and how empty my life would be without him. Happy Anniversary hubby, I sure do love you!

I hope everyone has a Happy Thanksgiving and a wonderful Biggest Shopping Day of the year. What are your plans for Thanksgiving and are you braving the crowds to shop on Friday? We are going to hubby's great aunt's house for Thanksgiving lunch and then to his mom's for supper. We will be going to my mom's on Saturday for my family's celebration. We will also have the babe's birthday party with my family then. So much food, so little time! On Friday I will be getting up at the butt crack of dawn to fight the masses and get some good deals on toys for the kids for Christmas. YAY I love shopping the day after Thanksgiving. Last year I was at home with my newborn recovering from a c-section and I had to miss out, but hubby went and he HATED it. He said he would never do it again. So he is keeping the kiddos and I am going shopping. I can't shop too much though because I have to be at work at 1, oh yeah and the whole money thing. I don't mind going to work though because then I get to put up the tree and decorate the office. Fun, Fun!

Monday, November 20, 2006

Overprotective, who me?

My mom called me overprotective last week. I started crying and then tried to explain to her that he is my only child and it is my job to protect him. She had to keep him for a couple of hours last Thursday and Friday because MIL was out of town. My mom enjoys doing this because it means she gets to see her only grandson, without me around to distract him. Anyway she asked me on Wednesday if it would be alright with me if she took him to my sister's house. Not the sister in jail or the one on drugs, but the one that has a good career and a husband and children. This sister lives about 30 miles from here in a very rural area. A very rural area that the roads are frequently filled with speeding semi trucks. That just scares me. Add to that the fact that honestly I don't like anyone driving with my babe in the car and the answer to your question would be no, he can't go. My question was why doesn't sister come here to see him? It is just as far for you to go as it is for her, isn't it? The road travels both ways! My mom said she didn't think my MIL would want everyone at her house when she wasn't there. Who is everyone, my one sister and her little girl? Who else were you planning on inviting?

I think really that my mom was planning on taking him to her house and we all know that is strictly off limits unless I am there. The day may come when I may have to let him be there without me, but it won't be for a very, very long time. Anyway if being overprotective means that I love my child and I only want what is best for him and I want him to be in a positive, loving environment 24/7, then yes I am overprotective. I can't help it.

I was also talking to an aquaintance Friday who has a 4 month old. She lets her spend the night frequently with her grandparents. She let her go to a different state with her relatives when she was only 2 months old! Am I the only one who sees something wrong with that? I have never spent the night away from my son and he is 1. He slept in our room until he was 4 or 5 months old because I could not stand the thought of him being so far away in his own room. He has only stayed with 4 people other than me and his dad and they were all relatives and he was only a few minutes from my office. Am I weird? Am I too attached? I don't think so, I just love my child and because a majority of my day is spent working away from him I want to spend all the time away from work with him. Is that so wrong??? I do go out to eat with the hubby occassionally and we spend quality time together on the weekend after the babe is asleep at night and during nap time. I take time for me when I start to feel stressed out at home. Maybe I am overprotective. All I know is I love my babe and I just want what is best for him!

Thursday, November 16, 2006

A comparison and a cause of stress

Yesterday afternoon was filled with doctors appointments. One for me and one for the babe. I went for my yearly fun visit with the ob/gyn. Everything was great, bp, heart rate, hemoglobin... I also got a prescription for the new birthcontrol pill that gives you lighter, shorter periods. The only thing better than that is no perios at all and since that ain't happening, I will go for the shorter, lighter ones. I also got a prescription for my happy pills. I haven't gotten it filled yet, but I will be this weekend. I know I am ready to go back on them, I have done well without them for the most part, but all of those crazy thoughts are creeping back in and I HAVE TO KEEP THEM AWAY, and also the stress is really getting to me! Hopefully it won't take long for me to be able to notice a difference, even though I think it is too late for this month's PMS. Sorry hubby!

The babe also had his 1 year check-up. He was perfectly healthy, even though he has a snotty nose. His stats:
22 lbs 13 ozs
30 3/4 inches tall
18 15/16 inch head (he takes after my hubby)
Lets look back to his stats when he was born:
8lb 9 ozs.
21 inches
14 inch head

WOW he has really grown. He had to get 2 immunization shots and I also opted for him to get the flu shot. He has to get it in 2 parts, so next month he gets the second part. I think the shots get worse as they get older. He SCREAMED his head off from the first needle prick until she was done and then he howled some more for good measure. As soon as we got in the car he went to sleep and slept for an hour and a half. He was a little cranky this morning and just wanted to be held, so I held him. I called and checked on him a little while ago and he was awake, but just kindof laying around. I hate when he doesn't feel good, but he can just be so snuggly! I can't wait to go see him at lunch and snuggle him up!

Anyway on to other things. I am MAJORLY stressed at work. My boss is having back surgery tomorrow morning. That may not seem like a big deal to most people, but hello, I work for a VERY SMALL company and he does ALL of the banking, check writing, payroll, accounts payable type of stuff. So guess who gets to do all of those things until he comes back? Do you give up? Still guessing? Yeah if you guessed me then you win a prize. Give yourself a pat on the back. I have not had to do payroll or accounts payable in 6 years and even then we had a staff accountant that double checked everthing and told me how much money to pay the vendors and such. This surgery is a very sudden thing, so I have had a crash course in everything. I am so not ready for this. I am scared. What if I screw something up. It is WAAAAYYYYY more than I want to be responsible for. I will be the boss, the head honcho, the big kahuna and honestly I don't want the responsibility. I am the only one here who can do it, so I have stepped up to the plate. Tomorrow I will be the boss. (You see why I really need my happy pills?)

I am also terrified that something is going to happen to my boss. I love him, no not like that. But you know like an uncle or something. I have been here 6 years and we have a pretty close knit group of people. There are only 9 of us, when everyone is here. I worked in the OR for a little while in college and I know from the professional's side the risks of being put to sleep. Then what if something goes wrong with the surgery and he is paralyzed or dies. OH DEAR GOD! I have been crying about it this morning, I am more worried than he is. He said that if it is his time to go then there is nothing anyone can do about it. He said he is at peace about it. He has much stronger faith than I do. WHAT IF SOMETHING HAPPENS TO HIM? What happens to us? I know that is selfish, but this place pays my house payment and puts food on my table. Oh the stress of it all. Also it is going to be mighty lonely around here without him while he is out with his surgery. He is always walking around here singing or making jokes. I will be talking to him daily though and seeing him often if anything needs his signature. I am glad that he lives close to the office. Just keep him in your prayers during this surgery and please pray for me as I take on these added responsibilites.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Guilt trippin'

I call my Granny (my mom's mother) every Tuesday on my way home from work. I have done this for YEARS. Sometimes depending on cell minutes left for the month or things that keep me out late after work I may have to call her on a day other than Tuesday or a little earlier, but anyway the point is I call her every week. She moved next door to us after my Dad died. She moved there to get out of the rat hole apartment she was living in and to be close to us and help my Mom out with us. I was 8, my sister was 11, my other sister was 16, the oldest sister was grown and moved out by then. We lived out in the country on land that my Granddaddy (my dad's dad) had deeded over to my Dad. We had lots of relatives living on the same road. A good many of my Dad's relatives lived there and still do.

I digress, bear with me. Hubby hates when I tell stories because you never know where we might end up and it might take a while to get there, but I swear it will be worth it, so keep that in mind as you read.

Where was I? Oh yes, my Granny. She is 80, she will be 81 on Christmas day. After she moved next door to us I moved in with her. I had always been close to my Granny, spending every weekend with her and most summers. Anytime I was sick I cried and begged my mom to take me to Granny's. She would give me medicine and bundle me up and put me under LOTS of blankets to sweat out the fever that was making me sick. GOD how I hated that as a child, but I know she did it because she loved me and was worried about me. Her moving next door was my invitation to live with her. She was a strict old lady, but I knew how to work my charm on her and get my way, most of the time. I was always her favorite grandchild! Then I turned into a bratty ass teenager who knew everything and wanted to do what I wanted to do and no old lady was gonna tell me any different. I moved back in with my Mom. Living with Mom meant freedom. My Mom was busy working and living her life to notice a lot of what I did, so that worked for me. I did not get away with everything and I got in trouble sometimes, but not as much as I would have with Granny.

Then I grew up and got married (the first time) and still Granny lived next door. She was the nosy neighbor shouting that your music was too loud or to shut your damn dogs up, they were getting on her nerves. She was also the loving Granny that she had always been, cooking something and bringing it over for you to eat. Looking after us when we were sick. Babysitting the kids for my sisters. Being there when they got off the bus and giving them a snack. She was just always there.

A couple of months ago my Mom decided that it was time for Granny to go into a nursing home. Granny has been losing her sight now for quite a while, she has macular degeneration. She can see some things, but not well enough to read or write. She has also gotten very forgetful in her older age. In her old age she has also gotten meaner and she will say ugly things to you and then not remember it later. She has not been able to drive for about 5 years now, which is a good thing since she can't see and all. Before all of this happened my Granny was on the go. She went to church everytime the doors were open. She went to the store, to visit friends and family, where ever she wanted to go she went. Since she stopped driving she has been stuck at home. We would all take her places sometimes, the store, church, etc. We moved 3 years ago, so she was not our neighbor anymore. It also meant that I was not there to sit and listen to her stories that I had heard 50 times already or to take her anywhere. I moved 45 minutes away.

My mom was still next door, but she has NO PATIENCE for Granny, her own mother. Mom would make sure that she got to church and her doctors appointments, but that was about where the going ended for Grannyand my mom. Mom works about 20 minutes from her home and once she would get home from work she did not want to take Granny back to town the 20 minutes or so it would take for her to get to the store. Mom started buying Granny's groceries and getting Granny's prescriptions filled so she would not have to endure shopping with the old lady. Shopping with someone who can't see is no fun, but still, my mom has no patience to even pretend like she enjoyed it. Things got pretty ugly in their relationship and the more Granny would forget things and be ugly about stuff, the more mom would want to put her somewhere. No matter what Mom did for Granny, it was never enough and it was always wrong!

After Mom decided to put Granny in a nursing home, Granny called everyone that she could think of to tell them of this injustice and beg them to come and save her from my EVIL mother. Her sister's kids came and got her and took her off to their merry little land about an hour or so from here. She has 2 sisters left and they both live there. One has alzheimers and has lost a foot due to bad circulation. That is the one that Granny is living with. Aunt S lives with her son, who works at the hospital at night and her daughter and son-in-law live next door. Aunt S had about 13 kids, so the ones that are still around and are able to help look after Aunt S and so far they are able to keep her at home.

When my Granny moved it really pissed me off. I vowed that I would NEVER go see her or take my son to see her as long as she was living down there. We all thought that she would be home in a month or so. Well she has been gone since June, I think, she has made it longer than anyone imagined. I miss her and I know she misses me, she tells me every Tuesday. So while I was talking to her yesterday she told me that she knew that she was not important enough for me to go and see her and that my mom never calls her because she does not love her. AAAHHHH the guilt! I don't want to have to go to Aunt S house to see her, depending on who is there, they smoke in the house and I just don't want my child around all that smoke. I don't want to have to smile and pretend to like those people that should have BUTTED THE HELL OUT OF OUR LIVES and let mom put Granny in the nursing home. If she was in the nursing home she would be about 10 minutes from my work and I could go and visit her in the afternoons and take the babe to see her, but NO, she had to go and move in with Aunt S. Anyway, I guess I will call my mom and plead with her to call Granny and just pretend that she loves her and cares about her. Then I guess I will plan a day trip to go and see her even though I really don't want to have to go THERE to see her. She reminds me quite often that she won't be here forever and I know I will regret it if I don't go see her. DAMN YOU GUILT!

Monday, November 13, 2006

Commenting

Do you always comment on every blog that you read? Do you visit people that comment on your blog? Is there a certain commenting etiquette for commenting? I am just wondering. I have some blogs that I read that are the "popular" kids and I don't normally comment on them because it isn't like they would notice anyway. There are other sites that I read religiously and I comment on them every time I read them. If I miss a post I normally go back and read it and comment on it too. However if I disagree with your opinion on something, rather than get into a HUGE online disagreement with you and risk our "friendship", I just remain silent and do not comment or I comment on something other than the thing that I disagree with. I don't like conflict, so I try to avoid it if I can.

Anyway when I was reading through my few comments on my last post I had a comment from someone that I did not recognize, so I checked him out. Okay he has like more than 200 comments on his last post and he read my blog? Not only did he read my blog, but he took the time to leave a comment. The post he read is horrible, it was my lame excuse for a Friday post, but he still took the time to leave a comment. I feel honored, just as I do everyday to see my comments from my regular readers. I guess we all like to be noticed. Anyway, if you read me, but don't comment, PLEASE at least comment just to say hello and let me know that you read me. Have a Happy Monday!

Friday, November 10, 2006

Do you want to meet a man?

For any single readers, I think I have figured out how you can meet a man. You have to go where the men are. If you live anywhere in middle Georgia it would be the new Bass Pro Shop. I had to go there the other day to get a gift certificate for my boss and let me tell you, I was the only woman dressed in a skirt and heels! The place oozes testosterone. It was packed with all kinds of men! I could not believe that at 2 in the afternoon on a Wednesday there were so many men at a sporting goods place. If I was a single gal, I would put on my cutest outfit and some lipstick and just hang out there.

I know this is a kind of lame post for Friday, so I will add some pics. Things are KARAZEY here at work. I will post more about that next week maybe. Have a good weekend!

Thursday, November 09, 2006

Fall in the south

Just when you have packed away all the short sleeved shirts and sandals, you get 80 degree weather. That's right folks, today the high will be in the upper 70s tomorrow and Saturday the forecast is 80! Is it not November 9th? Hello, the summer is gone. No wonder eveyone here is getting pnuemonia! Tired of all the cold weather, move south, all the birds do.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

I've been tagged...

I have been tagged by 2 different people this week. Boy am I popular or what? WHOOHOO! Here goes one. I am working on the other one, so be patient.

1. Explain what ended your last relationship.
The lies, all the lies.

2. When was the last time you shaved?
My underarms, yesterday. My legs, sometime last week, I think it may be time to shave them again.

3. What were you doing this morning at 8 a.m.?
Dropping the babe off at my MILs.

4. What were you doing 15 minutes ago?
Working, can you believe that?

5. Are you any good at math?
If I have a calculator or an adding machine I can be quite accurate!

6. Your prom night?
Junior year, I was 1st runner up for prom queen and went with a wonderful guy and had a blast. Senior year, I was dating my ex-hubby, but we still had fun. I wore the same color dress both years!

7. Do you have any famous ancestors?
It depends on who you ask in my family. Supposedly I am kin to Andrew Jackson??? Who knows for sure?

8. Have you had to take a loan out for school?
No, I was fortunate enough to have financial aid and a really good job at the time.

9. Do you know the words to the song on your Myspace profile?
Do I have a Myspace profile? I don't think so...

10. Last thing received in the mail?
Birthday cards for the babe.

11. How many different beverages have you had today?
2, coffee on my way to work and water.

12. Do you ever leave messages on people's answering machine?
Yes, nearly everyday.

13. Whom did you lose your CONCERT virginity to?
I have never been to a Rock concert, sad isn't it? I guess the first concert that I really remember going to was Reba McIntyre.

14. Do you draw your name in the sand when you go to the beach?
Yes and I draw in the sand too. I need to go to the beach soon!

15. What was the most painful dental procedure you have had?
4 wisdom teeth cut out at the same time! OUCH!

16. What is out your back door?
Our deck and our two outside dogs.

17. Any plans for Friday night?
Dinner with my hubby and kids.

18. Do you like what the ocean does to your hair?
I have not been in so long that I wouldn't know.

19. Have you ever received one of those big tins of 3 different popcorns?
Yes, the caramel is my favorite!

20. Have you ever been to a planetarium?
When I was in middle school.

21. Do you re-use towels after you shower?
Yes it cuts down on the amount of laundry that I don't have time to do.

22. Some things you are excited about?
Getting off work early today and taking the babe to get his 1 year pics taken. The upcoming holidays.

23. What is your favorite flavor of JELLO?
Strawberry and Peach, can I have two favorites?

24. Describe your keychain(s).
A silver heart locket with a pink breast cancer ribbon in rhinestones.

25. Where do you keep your change?
In my wallet or the little change thing in my car.

26. What kind of winter coat do you own?
I live in Georgia, we don't have what most people consider a winter! My "winter" coat is a black leather coat with red lining.

27. What was the weather like on your graduation day?
Sunny and beautiful.

28. Do you sleep with the door to your room open or closed?
Open, I hate sleeping with the door closed!

**Okay so, hope you enjoyed that. I am not going to tag anyone, but if you want to do this, leave it in my comments so that I can check out your answers!

Monday, November 06, 2006

Happy 1st Birthday Little One


To my sweet little baby boy,

It is hard to believe that it has been a year since I first laid eyes on your sweet face. So much has happened in that year. You have learned so many things. You have taught me so many things.

When I was pregnant with you Sissy would ask me what I thought you would look like and for the life of me I could not imagine your face. I tried, but I just couldn’t come up with anything. I would sit and daydream about you. I would imagine all the things that we would do together. I would try to imagine what it would be like to hold you in my arms, to rock you to sleep, to sing lullabies to you. None of my daydreams prepared me for the awe that I would feel when I heard you cry for the first time, or the overwhelming love that I would feel for you the first time that I saw you and held you in my arms. You were and still are the most beautiful thing that I have ever seen in my life. My love for you grows deeper every day, if that is even possible. I never in my life imagined that I could love someone the way that I love you. You are my heart and my joy, the light of my life. I have found a joy like no other since you have been born.

With that love has also come heartache. My heart aches because you are growing so fast. I long for the days of my tiny baby that would snuggle in close to me and just be happy to be held. I also delight in the new things that you have learned and the little person that you are becoming. Everyday with you is an adventure.

I also have guilt. How can a parent not have some guilt? There is no way to be perfect in everything that we do. I just hope you are able to look beyond our imperfections and love us anyway. I will always do right by you, of that you can be assured.

You are such a perfect child. I could not have asked for a better child. I know my life has been truly blessed by you. The way that you hug me when you see me after I have been at work or after you have been asleep just melts my heart. Don’t get me wrong you also have a not so perfect side, and there are times that I find myself praying for the strength to deal with your tantrums and whiny-ness. Somehow the strength is always there.

There are many times when you are sleeping in my arms at night that I just hold you close and put my nose up to your head and just inhale you. I just look at you in the little bit of light in your nursery and I try to memorize everything about you because tomorrow it will be a new day and you will be a little bit different. Then I pray. I always start out by thanking God for you and the many blessings that he has bestowed on me. Then I kiss you on the head or on the cheek and put you in your crib. You snuggle down with your blankie and I just stand there in awe of you, much like the day you were born.

My birthday wish for you is that you are always able to find happiness. Sometimes we don’t get the things in this life that we want, but being able to be happy with what you have is truly a blessing. I wish that for you. So many other things that I wish for you… I wish a life of laughter, wellness, wealth, true happiness.

Happy first birthday to the light of my life. I will always love you!

Love,
Mommy

Drying up

Well the babe is weaned. It is official. He has not had the booby since Thursday night at bedtime. It hasn't been easy. Remarkably he has been fine with it, it is me that has the problem. I have cried more than once this weekend about the fact that he will not nurse again. I don't think my boobs are completely dried up yet but they are almost. I am scared that when the milk is gone then he will want it and I will not be able to provide him with it. At times it has been hard for me not to breastfeed him. Honestly he has done wonderful without it. We have started a new bedtime routine which he really seems to enjoy. It includes cuddling and reading bedtime stories in the rocking chair. I still manage to have lots of snuggly time with him, so we won't be missing out on our close time. He is just growing so fast, I miss my baby. I am enjoying his new found independence too and the toddler (gasp!) that he is becoming. It is all so bittersweet, this whole parenting thing.

His party was wonderful. I think he had a good time. We had a really good day leading up to the party too. We had a few errands to run in the morning, so after he woke up around 8 we got dressed and headed out. I took him to Waffle House for breakfast and everyone there just talked to us and commented on how adorable he is. This very nice older couple sat at the table next to ours and talked to us almost the whole time they were there. They asked how old he was and of course I told them that he would be 1 on Tuesday. Before they left they gave him 5 dollars. SWEET! Since we moved to his unfriendly town 3 years ago we have barely had anyone speak to us, much less have a conversation with us that ended in a gift for our child. It renewed my faith in the kindness of strangers. Maybe there is hope for us to make some friends in this town after all. After breakfast we went to the evil Wal mart to get some wrapping paper and last minute party stuff. The babe picked out some Tonka truck and Sesame street wrapping paper and some bows. We also got 2 mylar ballons while we were out. He loved them! I put them in the backseat with him and he had a ball playing with them. After we got home and he took a nap, I got his gifts wrapped and got myself ready and the car loaded.

Fast forward to party time. The house was decorated for a party and the babe loved it! He wanted his cake, which turned out to be cute after all. We had extra relatives there, which turned out to be nice. They live in Tennesse and usually only come down about 1 time a year. They have 2 little boys and the babe so enjoyed having little ones closer to his age to play with. He followed them around like he was a big boy. He spoke to them in his own little language. We need to find him some friends! When it was time for cake, I stripped his nice birthday outfit off of him and put him in the booster seat at the table. We lit his candle and sang the happy birthday song to him and I sat his little cake down in front of him. He took 2 fingers and sort of poked at the cake and he got frosting on his fingers. Well he does not like anything gooey on his fingers he started shaking his hands and trying to get it off. I got him a spoon and fed him a bite of his cake and he liked it. I was determined that he was going to play in it and get it all over his face so I stuck my finger in the frosting and swiped it on his cheek. He started GAGGING! Yeah, so that was the end of the cake part of the party. No pictures with cake all over his face. No real mess to clean up! I don't have a lot of pics yet. We took some with the real camera so I have to wait until I take up the rest of the roll and then I will post them. We did video the whole thing, so I have proof that cake on his face made him gag!

His sissy and cousins helped him open his presents and he loved them. He still does not quite get the idea of ripping open the paper. Maybe by Christmas he will have it figured out. He got some really cute clothes and a new coat. He got LOTS of toys that make LOTS of noise. He got the animal train thing from Fisher Price, I think. He also got the baby Pooh that rides on the turtle's back. Hubby's aunt got him a duck that sings "If your happy and you know it". In one part of the song the duck jumps up and down and the babe LOVES it. He thinks it is hilarious. That was the first thing he went for Saturday morning. He got too much other stuff to name, but he has played with it all and he likes all of the toys. He has another party the weekend after Thanksgiving and he will get more stuff then. We are running out of room in the house for all of his stuff!

Tomorrow is the big day. My son will be 1. We have all survived a year! I cannot belive that one year ago I had never seen his face and now my life revolves around him. Amazing...truly amazing!

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Milestone mania

Over the past few weeks the babe has started doing some things that he has never done before. Yes he has had a few firsts lately. Last Friday he took his first 3 steps. It was so cute, no I did not capture it on video, but I will get some video of him walking soon enough. I was glad that he did it on Friday because our daughter was there and she got to see it. It is hard on her sometimes because she does not live with us and she does not see her brother everyday so she misses out on some of his firsts. The first steps were awesome, but no music played and he did it and then it was over and he would not take another step. He will take a step every now and then, but 3 steps in a row! That was big. Today at lunch he took a few steps to me at my MILs house. I don't think I am ready for walking, yet.

He is also trying to feed himself finger foods. I know everyone else's kid has been doing this since they were 6 months old, but for some reason he just could not get the pincer grasp thing and once he would get the food in his hand he could not get it to his mouth. He has been feeding us for quite sometime, but he has not been able to feed himself. For the past week he has been feeding himself the Gerber Fruit Puffs. He puts one in each hand and then puts them in his mouth. It is the cutest thing.

He also babbles constantly, although he does not say anything that even sounds remotely like a word, except for huh. When he is playing and you call his name he will look at you and say HUH? He still says Mama and ada for Daddy, but he does not say it with any meaning. He doesn't look at me and say Mama. Sometimes he can hear his daddy in the next room and he will start babbling adadadadadadada. So maybe he does know what he is saying. Most days I feel like we need a translator. When he is eating he will point and make noises to let you know what he wants to eat or drink. His favorite foods are chicken (all meat is chicken), pasta (especially mac 'n cheese) and most fruits. He likes some veggies. I made vegetable soup a week or so ago and he LOVED it. I hope he will always like his veggies.

He is almost completely weaned. I may have mentioned this earlier in the week but we cut out the morning feeding this week and he has done alright without it. This weekend we will try to cut out the bedtime feeding and then he will be officially weaned. I am a little sad, but enjoying my newfound freedom. As long as he is happy, so am I.

I will not be posting again until Monday and I hope I will have pics from the party. Have a good weekend.

So much to do, so little time

Is Friday really just 2 days away? I have so much to do before the babe's first birthday party and I don't think that there is anyway that I can get it all done. I am trying to make myself a list and add to it when I remember something else that needs to be done. We thought about canceling the party, but everyone has assured me that we should still have it. Hubby's great-uncle who was 99 died on Monday and the funeral is Friday morning. Grandpa is still in the hospital and the family is taking turns spending time at the hospital so that he is never alone. I just figured with those things going on a birthday party for a (nearly) one year old may not be a good idea. MIL has assured me that they still want to have it. There are even some extra relatives here from out of town, so there may be a few more guests. More guests=more gifts! More guests also = more party stuff and more food. MIL is cooking a nice soup/chili recipe that she makes and I guess I will pick up a couple of bags of chips and some dip.

Tonight after work I have to go to Publix and look at my choices for a store bought birthday cake, which I am still upset about. Hopefully they will have something cute. We are going with a jungle animal theme. I have tried to put a picture of the decorations in this post, but blogger will not cooperate with me, so screw you blogger. I will try to add it later.

I also have not bought any wrapping paper or gift bags or a birthday card. I have not wrapped any gifts. I still have to get streamers and balloons and some extra plates and napkins, just in case said extra family is there for the party. I need to get hubby to make some tea, so our nice party guests will have something to drink. Yes you read that correctly, hubby makes wonderful tea. My tea just tastes like dirty water with sugar, so I will let him do the honors.

I also wanted to put together a video for everyone to watch at his party, but do you think I have had time to do that? So, I did sit down the other night after he was asleep and put pictures in a picture album in order from his first pics in the hospital to his most recent ones. So everyone can look at those. A video would have been better though! There is always next year. Maybe if I get started on it now I would have it done by then!

Friday I am off work! So I will have all day to run around like a crazy woman with a (nearly) one year old and get all of this stuff done. I also have to pick up store bought birthday cake and ice cream and daughter early so that she can help me entertain the babe and decorate my MIL and SILs house for the party. I hope they have time between now and then to clean up the house, if not I too will have to do that Friday. I know I should clean it up since they are nice enough to let us have it there, but it would really help me out if they would do it. I'm just saying. Anyway I am stressed out and that is precisely why we are not having a BIG birthday party.