End of the Year

I was planning a really awesome post for my last post of 2006, but I don't think it is going to happen. I have been under so much pressure at work and at home lately I have barely had time to think about anything else. We got some shocking news at Christmas that I am still trying to deal with and then last night we got hit with another bombshell, so I am just mentally exhausted. Anyway I know that things will all work out and everything will be fine in the end, but I just need some time to wrap my mind around it all. I am sure I will tell you all about it in the new year. Please have a safe and happy New Year's weekend.

Christmas in pictures

Here is a small sampling of pics. I took over 200 hundred pics, so I won't bore you with all of them. Elmo was the first thing the babe saw on Christmas, which was funny because that is one of the few words that he says that you can understand.

I have also included a few pics of my tacky blow up Christmas decorations, for anyone that wanted to see them. Hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas, we certainly did. I have lots of stories to tell, so stay tuned! I will try to get caught up with everyone today and tomorrow.

Running on empty

I can barely keep my eyes open today. My coffee has worn off, I think I need to go make some more! I got off a little early yesterday to finish up my Christmas shopping, which was a good thing. I got most of it finished with the exception of a gift certificate that I have to pick up today at lunch. I got home around 6 and turned on the oven to start my marathon baking. I took the last batch of pecan drops out of the oven at 11:30. 5 1/2 hours of baking and I am beat. I baked 6 dozen cookies, Chocolate Chip, Sugar, and Chocolate-Peanut Butter, 4 dozen Pecan Drops, 6 mini Honey Walnut Pound Cakes, 2 Gooey Butter cakes, and I also made a batch of Tiger Butter. When I finally fell into bed around midnight I was so exhausted I just wanted to cry. I did manage to sit down for a few minutes and eat some supper and then I was back in the kitchen. I also took a break and bathed the babe and got him in the bed. Baking all these goodies is really tiring. I still have some baking left to do as well as cooking a pork roast to make BBQ. I don't need the BBQ until Monday night and most of the baked goods until Sunday, so I can pace myself.

I am very proud that I got all of that done last night though. I brought little goody baskets for the ladies in the office today for Christmas. I got one of my Christmas presents early last night. After we finished eating supper Hubby told me to stay sitting down for a minute. Of course this irritated me because I needed to get back in the kitchen and get to work, but I obeyed. Our daughter brought one of my gifts from under the tree and they told me to open it so I could go ahead and use it before Christmas. I really had no clue what to expect, I had not asked for much. Much to my surprise it was a DIGITAL CAMERA. I was so shocked. I have wanted one forever, but we just haven't gotten one yet. We have a camcorder that also takes digital pictures, but it doesn't have a flash and the pictures are not that great. So now I have my very own digital camera. Hubby said that when they picked it out he told our daughter that they really did not have to get me anything else and she told him that she wished that they could get me more because I do so much for them that she does not know how I get it all done sometimes. That just melted my heart more than any gift, to know that my child sees and appreciates all the things that I do. Ahh the joys of parenting! After Christmas look out I will post some pics with my new camera.

I hope everyone has a safe and Merry Christmas. I will be back on Wednesday, I will catch up with everyone then.

All grown up

I had to go to court for my work today and so I am dressed very professionally with a blazer and a long straight black skirt and my tall black boots. I rarely if ever look in the mirror after I get dressed in the mornings, but I know what I look like in this outfit. On my way into the courthouse this afternoon I caught a glimpse of myself in the glass doors and I had to look twice at who that professional woman was in my reflection.

I guess in my mind I still do not see myself as a grown up professional person. Most days at work I just wear slacks and a shirt or skirt of some sort, but nothing too businessey like a jacket. Anyway I think it is a greal look for me, maybe I need to add some jackets to my wardrobe and pray that the weather here cools off so I could wear them. I jokingly told them when I got to the office this morning that I had on my big girl clothes today.

When exactly did I grow up? Was it when I got married the first time, or bought my first car, or maybe when I got my first full time job? I can't pinpoint it, most days I still don't feel like a grown-up, I just feel like a kid trapped in this 30 year old's body and life. Does our mind ever feel the age that our body is? Do our parents and grandparents still feel like young people in their mind? When they look in the mirror do they see their true reflection staring back or do they see the young, beautiful person that they once were? I know when I look in the mirror I don't see the same reflection that everyone else sees everyday. I still see myself as a 23 year old with less wrinkles and lines and less gray hair.

6 days until Christmas

I am really trying not to get stressed out, but honestly I just can't help it. Here it is 6 days until Christmas and I still haven't gotten hubby's stocking stuffers, I still have TONS of stuff to bake and make, the house is a mess. The list goes on and on. I did manage to get a decent picture of the kids, have Christmas cards printed, got them addressed and in the mail last week. That was a major accomplishment! I also managed to get cupcakes, a butterscotch cake, and some M & M cookies made and delivered to the Ronald McDonald House last Friday. I am on a roll. I still have so much to do and a very short time to do it in. Not only do I have all of those things to do, I still have to work everyday this week and take care of my family at night. Oh and another thing I have to do is get the kids to help me make stepping stones with their handprints in them for the grandparents. How long does it take the cement to set? We have to make 3 and we only bough one mold, so we will have to wait for each one to dry before we remove it from the mold. WHY DO I DO THINGS LIKE THIS TO MYSELF EVERY YEAR? Instead of buying gifts, since we are so poor I am baking goodies for everyone. Again, why do I do these things? Our office Christmas party is Friday morning, so I have to get all of the stuff made for my co-workers before then. I have until Sunday to get my family's done and Monday night for hubby's family. I also wanted to make a little basket for our neighbors (3 of them). I wonder how little sleep I can actually survive on, 4 maybe 5 hours? I was up until midnight last night wrapping gifts, so now everyone except me has a present under the tree. I should have one wrapped and under there tonight. I will be glad when Christmas actually gets here so maybe I can sit down and relax with my family a little bit.

Faster than a speeding car

Well not so much so. The babe had his first bloody accident on Saturday. His sissy was pushing him in his little car in the kitchen and he opened the door to attempt a stunt. Well 13 month olds do not need to attempt stunts. Anyway he fell face first out of the car onto the HARD kitchen floor. He was crying and bleeding. I was in the shower oblivious the the goings on in the rest of the house. Hubby came running into the bathroom screaming that the babe was bleeding, he fell out of the car! I jumped out of the shower, knelt over the crying, bleeding babe on the floor and dabbed his mouth with a wet washcloth. Finally the bleeding stopped and I could see that he had busted his lip. His lip was swelling. I took him to the kitchen, got a cold teething thing out of the fridge and took him to the living room to watch the Wiggles. 10 minutes later he was up and playing. I was so calm, it was almost surreal to me. I am not usually the calm type, but hubby on the other hand was like a raving lunatic. Thank goodness I am able to keep my cool under pressure. Let me just say it was scary to see my sweet little angel baby bleeding. What would they do without me?

Christmas Meme

I thought this was a fun meme, so here it goes.

1. Eggnog or Hot chocolate?
Hot chocolate with LOTS of marshmallows

2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree?
The gifts from Santa do not get put under the tree or wrapped, each child has their own pile of loot in the den.

3. Colored lights on tree/house or white?
We have 4 trees, 2 of them have multicolored lights, 1 has white lights, 1 has blue and white lights. We have white icecicle lights on the outside as well as red and green candy canes lining the driveway. We also have white lights in the hedges and some white light balls in one of the trees. The Griswolds would be jealous!

4. Do you hang mistletoe?
No.

5. When do you decorate for Christmas?
I try to get started right after Thanksgiving, but it takes a while to get everything decorated.

6. What is your favorite holiday dish? (Excluding desserts!)
My mom's dressing and sausage balls.

7. Favorite holiday memory as a child.
All of my family being together at my grandparents house on Christmas Eve.

8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa?
I don't remember.

9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve?
Yes. We have Christmas with my parents on Christmas Eve. I am also going to start letting the kids open one gift from us on Christmas Eve. It was a tradition we did as children and I would like to do that with my kids too.

10. Do you bake cookies every year?
Yes as well as other things.

11. Snow? Love it or dread it?
I love it. Of course in Georgia we rarely ever get any and if we do it is Febuary or March. It doesn't usually stick and causes more of a mess than anything. It looks pretty in pictures though.

12. Can you ice skate?
No, I am way too uncoordinated.

13. Do you remember your favorite gift?
As a child it was my silver Barbie Corvette.

14. What's your favorite thing about the holidays? What's the most important thing about the Holidays for you?
The decorations, the food. Spending time with family and friends and remembering the real reason for the season.

15. Favorite holiday dessert?
Divinity, fudge, pumpkin pies and cakes.

16. What is your favorite Holiday tradition?
Having Christmas celebrations with my family and hubby's family.

17. What is your tree topper like?
A star, multicolored of course.

18. Do you like to give or receive?
Both, but really give. I like to do things for others.

19. What is your favorite Christmas carol?
Silent Night

20. Candy canes? Yuck or Yum?
Yummy, especially the fruit flavored ones.

21. What was the one gift you always wanted for Christmas but never got?
A car and a pony.

22. Do you buy a gift for yourself when shopping?
Before I had the babe I did, but since he has gotten here I am so broke I can barely afford to buy anything for anybody.

23. Favorite Christmas Movie?
National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation

24. How do you decorate your Christmas Tree?
In steps. First we pick out the tree, the hubby gets it put up in the stand. Then I put the lights on it. Then we decorate it and it usually takes a few days to get all the ornaments on it.

25. What do you do on Christmas morning?
We wake up and see what Santa brought the babe, then hubby and I open our stockings, then we play and eat some breakfast and play some more. We don't get our daughter until 5, so after she gets there we see what Santa brought her and then we open our gifts to each other.

I am not tagging anyone, but if you want to do this, go ahead.

I'm gonna wash that gray right out of my hair

Do you remember that slogan from a few years back for some haircolor? Anyway when I was off Monday I colored my hair. I did it myself and of course I hate it. That is one of those things that you need a girlfriend or a sister to come over and help you with. But since I have neither close by, I had to do it all alone. It was scary, I have not put any color on my hair in about 4 or 5 years and you can tell it. My hair has gotten so gray that there was almost as much gray hair as there was brown. I just tried to pretend that I didn't notice when I looked in the mirror, but it was there staring out at me.

I ran into one of my Mom's cousins Saturday and she made the comment that I had more gray hair than my Mom. Well that is because Mom dyes her hair and has for years. Premature gray hair runs in my family and unfortunately that is one of the things that I inherited. Why couldn't it have been money or a talent of some sort, why the gray hair? Anyway that comment really bothered me. I have kicked the idea of coloring my hair around for a couple of months now, but always dismissed it for one reason or another. Well I simply cannot have more gray hair than my Mom who is 28 years older than me. While I was at the grocery store Monday I picked up a bottle of light brown haircolor. You see I have learned in all of my years of previous bad hair dying experiences that you never actually buy the color you want, if you do your hair will be way too dark. I made sure that no where on the box did it say anything about red hair. Something else that I have learned in all of my previous experience is that if there is any variation of the word golden in the color it will turn my hair red, as much as I like red hair I am not ready to be one again. So I finally got up the courage to do it before my hubby got home Monday. I was so scared, I was shaking. I put the gloves on and got down to business, I walked around the house with that goop all over my hair and then the time was up. I went and rinsed it out and guess what color it is? DARK BROWN with red highlights! EXACTLY WHAT I DID NOT WANT! That was why I picked out a nice shade of LIGHT BROWN! My natural haircolor is medium brown (with LOTS of gray). Anyway hubby got home and did not even notice, so I did not say anything, since I really hate it. I think I liked the gray better. He noticed it last night, finally! He said it looked alright that maybe it would lighten up some the more I washed it. I sure hope so. No one at work has noticed it or if they have they have not said anything about it. Maybe they are pretending not to notice because it looks hideous. When will I learn to just leave things alone and let the professionals take care of it, after all isn't that why they went to school?

Food network, here I come!

I had a very productive day yesterday. I did not get everything done, but I got a lot accomplished and my house is a cleaner place because of it. I also sat down over the weekend and picked out the goodies that I will be making for this holiday season. I went to 2 different grocery stores and after spending WAAAYYYYYY too much money I am ready to start baking tonight. We are taking several cakes and cookies and cupcakes to the Ronald McDonald house in our area this weekend, so I gotta get started on those things. Hopefully this week I can post a few recipes for you all to try. That's all I got for now.

Brrrrrrr.....

That chattering sound you hear is my teeth. It is freakin' cold here, in Georgia, in December. I can't believe it. We are having the coldest weather that we have had in 2 years. WONDERFUL! I don't like the cold weather, I don't mind cool weather, but 18 degrees at night, give me a break. I had to get gas on my way to work this morning and I didn't even have a pair of gloves with me. I did have on my leather coat and fleecy scarf though. It is a really pretty day, sun shining bright, it's just cold. Actually I am not that upset about it. I hope it gets cold enough to kill all those creepy crawly critters outside.

I am going to see my Granny tomorrow. I guilt tripped my Mom into going. I hope they can be nice to each other for the few hours that we will be there. Really I wanted my Mom to go with me so she can ride in the back with the babe and make sure he is happy while I make the hour drive. She also needs to go see her Mother, even if she has a lot of resentment towards her. Tomorrow is not guaranteed for any of us and my Mom needs to make peace with my Granny while they are both still on this earth.

I have taken Monday off so I can get my house clean. Doesn't that sound fun? Does anyone want to come and help me. Things have just gotten so cluttered and I have not really cleaned since before the babe was born, so it is wwaaaaayyyyy overdue. I am afraid the dust bunnies may attack me when I try to get rid of them. Don't think that I haven't cleaned any since he was born, I have done things like vaccuum and clean the kitchen, but other things like putting away the laundry and getting rid of just general clutter has really been put on the back burner. I hope Monday to get most of the major things done since I will have a day without kids or the hubby. When my house is a real mess it stresses me out and that is some stress that I can control, so I will.

Quick little bit about the babe. He is walking more now. He took 10 steps last night without holding on to anything! He is getting so big. He eats almost everything, especially things that he can feed himself. He is becoming so independent. He loves to read. He will get his books and just sit in the middle of a pile of them and thumb through the pages "reading" (mumbling and making noises). He is also starting to say distinguishable words other than Mama and Dada. He can say our dogs names (Dixie and Zoe) and he can say "Sissy" and "G.g" (his great grandma). He understands so many words when he hears them. He gets upset if you say ice cream or doughnut and you don't actually have any. He loves Ritz crackers and will point in the kitchen and grunt until you take him to the counter to get a Ritz. He also likes Cheese puffs (the organic ones). I break them into a few pieces and put them on the tray of his highchair and he gobbles them up. He has gotten 2 of his molars on one side and he is working on the other 2. This time the teething really has not been so bad. He has 10 teeth now!

I wish I had more to write about today but I really need to get my desk cleaned off so I don't feel so bad about not being here Monday. Have a great weekend and I will be back on Tuesday!

All apologies

Oh my goodness, please forgive me oh faithful readers, it has been 5 days since my last post. I can't believe I have been so slack. Actually I have not been slack, I have been extremely busy. I also have not read any blogs in at least as many days. I hope to be getting caught up this week. Let me catch you up really fast.

This weekend was fun. We went to Callaway Gardens Saturday night to see the Fantasy in Lights and it was magical. It sparked the Christmas spirit in me and we had a great time. It was cold and we nearly froze to death, but it was worth it. If you are anywhere near there, go see the lights, you will enjoy it. I did not take any pictures because I tend to get lost behind the camera and have a hard time actually focusing on the things going on around me when I am snapping pictures, so I left the camera in its bag and did not take one picture of any of the lights. I did take a picture of my sleeping baby after the tour. He was sleeping so peacefully as we walked through the gift shop and took turns holding him.

We did get our tree Saturday. We went to get it Friday, but everywhere was closed, so we got it Saturday. It is an ugly tree. It has a huge hole that no matter how many ornaments and lights I try to cover it with just won't go away. It is not a fat tree and it is not very tall, but honestly it was the best tree that we could find. Maybe it was a bad Christmas tree year. I got the lights put on it Monday night and we put the ornaments on it last night. So far the babe has not cared one little bit about it. We have 4 Christmas trees this year! We have one in the babe's room that is about 2 or 3 foot tall and it is a Pooh Bear tree. We have one in our den that our daughter decorates in all pink and purple, that is her tree. This year I got a small real tree for our dining room. It is my favorite. I decorate our dining room in blue and silver snowmen. My tree has a blue and silver bow on the top and blue and white lights and blue and silver balls. It is very simple, but I just love it. From someone who did not even want to put a tree, we now have 4!

Hubby has gotten most of the outside lights up. He worked on it until late in the night on Monday and he hopefully will finish with them tonight. The babe loves the outside lights! We have one of the blow up snowglobes and a blow up penguin and a small blow up Santa. We also have a runway for Santa and so many other things that I am not going to name them, just think of Christmas Vacation. Anyway, we do it for the kids and they LOVE it, so it makes it all worth while.

I spent most of the day Sunday decorating the inside of the house. I have entirely too many Christmas decorations. I did not put a lot of stuff out, because I just don't have time or room to put it. My house is now decorated for Christmas.

I had jury duty Monday, which I had completely forgotten about until Saturday. I spent most of the day at the courthouse only not to be chosen at the end. It was a case of Theft by receiving stolen property and the stolen property happened to be jewelry. Our house was broken into 2 years ago and the only thing they took was my jewelry, so of course I did not get picked for that jury. It was quite an experience and I realy didn't mind having to go. I did have to stand up in front of a group of people and talk several times and that made me very nervous and anxious. I do not like talking in front of a crowd. I dropped several classes in college because as part of the curriculum I would have had to give a presentation or a speech and I just can't do it. Having jury duty did get me out of the office for a day and while we were waiting I did get the thank you notes from the babe's birthday finished. Having jury duty also meant being away from the office while my boss was away from the office. I was so far behind yesterday I ran all day long. My phone rang off the hook and I had several errands for the office that had to be done, so I just did not have time for anything but work. Today is a new day and I think I have gotten a little more caught up, so maybe soon I get caught up with all of my regular reads. I missed you guys.

I made the kids get dressed in their Christmas outfits on Sunday morning so I could take some pictures of them. I managed to get one to load on blogger. Maybe I will try to load some more later.

I survived!

Whew, it is finally Friday. I for one, am so very glad. I survived the month end with a few bumps in the road, but I managed to get through them. I also managed to piss off a co-worker yesterday and now she is being a bitch to me. Oh well honey your loss. I am so sick of all the cattiness in our office. It really grates on my nerves sometimes. That is what happens when you work with a bunch of women. Oh well, I am not going to worry about it. I have many other things to worry about like picking out a tree and hours in the car with the babe.

We have such a busy weekend. We are going to get our tree tonight. Part of me really hates going to pick out the tree. It is so hard for my hubby to make a decision sometimes. I just pull up to the trees, look at them and pick out the best one. It should not take longer than say 10 or 15 minutes. He has to compare this part and that part and it never fails that when we get the tree home, it is too freakin' big for the living room so he has to trim the bottom. Having the babe that is now into everything will also add another element to the holiday tree decorating. It would be fine with me if we got a 3 foot fake tree to put on the table so he can't reach it and we could go back to the real tree thing next year. Hubby will not go for that, so we will begin the hellish nightmare of the Christmas tree tonight after work. Then once we get it home, he has to get it in the house and in the stand and then guess who gets to put lights on it? Yes that would be my job. So I guess Sunday will be spent putting lights on the tree. OH WHAT FUN! Anyone want to come and help me?

I am very excited about tomorrow. We are going here: http://www.callawaygardens.com/. I have never been and of course neither has the babe, so we are really looking forward to it. There are lots of shops and things on the way that we will stop at to break up the monotany of the babe riding for hours in the carseat. Our appointed time to see the Christmas light tour is at 8 pm, so I think we will be alright for the car ride home, he should probably sleep most of the way. My MIL and SIL are going too. It should be a fun family outing.

Maybe Sunday after I get the lights on the tree and some decorations put out I can get some rest. I doubt that I will, but hey a girl can dream, can't she? Have a good weekend!

Stress is killing me

The stress at work is really bad lately. It is causing me tummy problems and headaches and insomnia. I DON'T LIKE IT! My boss is still out of course with his back surgery and I am trying to do it all. Today is my first month end that I have to do it all, and do it all alone. I am very stressed because our business is down and that makes the other employess ill and cranky. I could not eat supper last night because I felt EXTREMELY nauseated. I could not go to sleep because my mind was just racing about work. My head is hurting and I am certain that my blood pressure is up. It is all stress. I will be glad when today and tomorrow are over with so I can relax again. Pray for me, send me some positive thoughts and energy!

Fear

Can I be really honest with you all? Will you go ahead and promise not to judge me or leave me nasty comments. Try to remember if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all. Anyway since getting pregnant last year and going through 9 months of pregnancy. Most of the months being during the summer (since it is summer the better part of the year here) and having my baby last November I have had an awful fear, I actually have several fears, but the one that I am focusing on today is: the fear of getting pregnant again. Hubby and I have discussed it and honestly we do NOT want any more children. I have fairly crappy insurance so having the surgery to remedy that fear from ever coming true is out of the question, for now anyway. Hubby has no insurance so he isn't getting snipped either. I spend a greater part of every month hoping and praying that the birth control is working and that my period will be right on time. I also avoid sex and that is not me. So far we have been lucky. I read all sorts of stories about people who were breastfeeding taking the progeterone only pills getting pregnant and I feared that would happen to me. It may seem crazy to some especially since it took us being off the bc pills for a little more than 9 months to get pregnant, but it really scares me. So now I am back on regular birth control pills and as soon as they have a chance to get my cycle regular and stop this ovulation then maybe I can relax and enjoy the sex with my hubby again. I have tried talking to him about it, but he does not understand the real fear that I have. He doesn't want anymore children either, but I don't think he quite understands the deep roots that the fear has for me. It is like the fear of spiders to a person that has arachnaphobia. I am also back on the happy pills so hopefully one day soon that fear will be gone and I can find something else to worry about.

Monday Musings

We had a great Thanksgiving. We went on a hayride. The weather was nice and warm so we did not freeze. The food was wonderful and I did not overeat. The babe was not whiny and cranky despite his shortened nap. It really was a nice day.

I did not get up early on Friday to go shopping. I know, I know I was really looking forward to it, blah, blah, blah. I sat down Thursday morning and looked at the sales papers and honestly, there wasn't anything worth me getting up that early for and having to fight the crowds. Have I really changed that much? I think I have. Now don't get me wrong, I still appreciate a good sale, but there really was nothing worth all the hassle to me. I instead opted for sleeping in with the babe and then cooking breakfast for my family. I had to come to the office for a few hours, so on the way we stopped at Target and picked up a few things that were on sale, but that was the extent of my black Friday shopping. I think I spent $30.00, whoo hoo I am the big spender! We got the decorations and the tree up at work and it really looks great. Well as great as a really old fake 6 foot tree can look. The lights really help, you are blinded by them so you don't notice the tree.

Saturday we went to my Mom's for my family's T-day dinner. It was nice and quiet. My oldest sister had to work, but her kids came and one of my other neices. It was so great to see my neices, 3 of the ones that were there are all teenagers now and we rarely see them anymore. My 2 middle sisters were there, but everyone got along with each other and we were all nice and cordial. There was no talk of jails or drugs, so I did not have to tell the hubby about all of that mess. He already doesn't like those sisters, I just hate to give him more reasons to dislike them. We also had the babe's small birthday party. He ate just a little bit of the cake that I baked for him, without the frosting of course. Frosting makes him gag, funny child!

A co-worker's mom died on Saturday, so Sunday I had to go to visitation at the funeral home. When I got there, I looked for anyone that I recognized and I did not see anyone, so I walked up and got in line. I thought maybe the family was in the room next to the viewing room and the only way to get there was to walk by the casket. So I stand there and wait and wait for what seems like an eternity, then finally the line starts moving. Guess what? It was not my co-worker's mom, I don't know who it was that I was waiting so patiently to see. I promptly got myself out of the line and looked around very embarrassed until I found someone who worked there and he pointed me in the right direction. I just laughed it off. I bet that other lady's family was trying to figure out who I was. Anyway I got that over with, I hate visitation and funerals, but it is a part of life and we can't always avoid them. Her mom had been sick for a while with Cancer and in this case her death was a blessing, she had suffered so much in the past few months. Still it is never an easy thing. I went to the funeral this morning and it truly was a beautiful service. She was a wonderful woman who lived a very full life and her funeral was a testament to that.

Also Sunday hubby got up on the roof and cleaned out the gutters. This is the first time this has been done since we bought the house in June of 2005. I would say it was VERY overdue. It looks so nice now. For a while when you looked out the windows it looked like we lived in a grass hut what with all the pine straw hanging over the edges of the gutters. I HATE PINE TREES. The next extra couple of thousand dollars we have to spend will be spent on having a few of them removed. Now that the gutters are cleaned, we can start putting up the lights! YAY! He hopes to get started on that this afternoon. We have so many decorations for outside and inside, it will take us a while to get them all up. I need to get up in the attic and get down the boxes of decorations so I can get started on the inside of the house after the babe goes to bed. We will get our tree this Friday, so I would like to have most of the rest of the decorations up by then.

I had to sign the Christmas cards at work today too. I think my hand is going to fall off. I think there are like 200 of them. I need a stamp with my name on it!

Not much else going on here. The babe has had a low grade fever this weekend. I think he is getting his molars. I could see the top of one peeking through his gums. Thank goodness he hasn't been really cranky, just feverish. Maybe the old wives tale worked! Someone told me after we had been suffering through the teething for like 8 teeth to take an egg out of the fridge. DO NOT BOIL IT. Let it get to room temp and write your child's name in it and put it in one of the child's socks. No not the socks that they are wearing, that would break the egg. Anyway then put the sock with the egg in it in a dark place in the child's room. I also heard to hang the sock over the child's doorway. I did neither of these. I wrote his name on the egg and it is still sitting on my kitchen counter behind some other stuff, where it has been for months now. I think that it helped with his teething though. These molars have been nothing compared to the other 8 that he has. Who knows? Just for the record, I don't normally do these wives tale things, but after you have suffered through a few sleepless nights of trying to comfort a teething baby, you will try anything, especially something as harmless as writing a name on an egg.

**Anwer to a question left in my comments. I started brushing my teeth in the shower a few years ago when we moved into our house. I think I started doing it because it seemed to save me time in the mornings and that was one less thing that I had to remember when I got out of the shower. I usually brush them at the end of the shower while I am rinsing my hair and body. Try it, it just might work for you too! Any other questions?

6 weird things about me

I have been tagged, thanks J. Although I am not good at following the rules, so I am not tagging anyone in return, if you want to do this, leave me a comment and I will come and check out your answers.

6 Weird things about me:

1. I don't eat mayonnaise. We don't have any mayonnaise in our house.

2. I have to be covered up to go to sleep in the bed, no matter how hot it is. I cannot sleep without cover.

3. I brush my teeth in the shower.

4. I have never used or sold illegal drugs.

5. I opted for a c-section instead of vaginal birth because I had a major fear of labor and delivery. That was not the reason that it was an option, but that was the reason I decided to have it.

6. I have a fear of being put to sleep. I worked in the OR in college and it was a SCARY, SCARY place.

So there you go. Did you learn anything new about me? If you do this meme on your blog, just let me know so I can see if you are weirder than me. Have a great weekend!

Giving thanks

As Thanksgiving draws near this year I have so much to be thankful for. I have a wonderful loving family, beautiful children, a fabulous husband, wonderful in laws. I have a great job, albeit stressful at times, I love it and wouldn't want to work anywhere else. I have great health, nothing more than a minor cold or virus on occassion. I have a beautiful house, even though it is very messy because of that great job and wonderful family I have no time to clean it. We have everything that we need to get us through the day and at the end of everyday I try to remember to give thanks for all of my many blessings. I hope that everyone can find something to be thankful for. Sometimes we don't realize what we have.

Today is my 3 year anniversary. On this day 3 years ago I married my best friend. We ran away, so to speak, and got married. We did not go to Vegas, we went to Tennessee and got married on a riverboat. It was great. I did not tell any of my family that I was getting married. My best friend C, her hubby, my soon to be hubby, his mom and sister and his daughter all went to Tennessee for the weekend for the wedding. They were really the only ones that I wanted there. C stood by my side as I took my vows. I cried, she cried, my hubby cried. It was beautiful. I have the most wonderful husband in the world. I wouldn't trade him for anything in the world. He is the one that I call when things happen, good or bad. He is the calm in the midst of the storm in my life. When I am feeling scared or stressed, just hearing his voice makes me feel better. Seeing him with our children just makes me fall in love with him all over again. I hope he knows how much I love him and how empty my life would be without him. Happy Anniversary hubby, I sure do love you!

I hope everyone has a Happy Thanksgiving and a wonderful Biggest Shopping Day of the year. What are your plans for Thanksgiving and are you braving the crowds to shop on Friday? We are going to hubby's great aunt's house for Thanksgiving lunch and then to his mom's for supper. We will be going to my mom's on Saturday for my family's celebration. We will also have the babe's birthday party with my family then. So much food, so little time! On Friday I will be getting up at the butt crack of dawn to fight the masses and get some good deals on toys for the kids for Christmas. YAY I love shopping the day after Thanksgiving. Last year I was at home with my newborn recovering from a c-section and I had to miss out, but hubby went and he HATED it. He said he would never do it again. So he is keeping the kiddos and I am going shopping. I can't shop too much though because I have to be at work at 1, oh yeah and the whole money thing. I don't mind going to work though because then I get to put up the tree and decorate the office. Fun, Fun!

Overprotective, who me?

My mom called me overprotective last week. I started crying and then tried to explain to her that he is my only child and it is my job to protect him. She had to keep him for a couple of hours last Thursday and Friday because MIL was out of town. My mom enjoys doing this because it means she gets to see her only grandson, without me around to distract him. Anyway she asked me on Wednesday if it would be alright with me if she took him to my sister's house. Not the sister in jail or the one on drugs, but the one that has a good career and a husband and children. This sister lives about 30 miles from here in a very rural area. A very rural area that the roads are frequently filled with speeding semi trucks. That just scares me. Add to that the fact that honestly I don't like anyone driving with my babe in the car and the answer to your question would be no, he can't go. My question was why doesn't sister come here to see him? It is just as far for you to go as it is for her, isn't it? The road travels both ways! My mom said she didn't think my MIL would want everyone at her house when she wasn't there. Who is everyone, my one sister and her little girl? Who else were you planning on inviting?

I think really that my mom was planning on taking him to her house and we all know that is strictly off limits unless I am there. The day may come when I may have to let him be there without me, but it won't be for a very, very long time. Anyway if being overprotective means that I love my child and I only want what is best for him and I want him to be in a positive, loving environment 24/7, then yes I am overprotective. I can't help it.

I was also talking to an aquaintance Friday who has a 4 month old. She lets her spend the night frequently with her grandparents. She let her go to a different state with her relatives when she was only 2 months old! Am I the only one who sees something wrong with that? I have never spent the night away from my son and he is 1. He slept in our room until he was 4 or 5 months old because I could not stand the thought of him being so far away in his own room. He has only stayed with 4 people other than me and his dad and they were all relatives and he was only a few minutes from my office. Am I weird? Am I too attached? I don't think so, I just love my child and because a majority of my day is spent working away from him I want to spend all the time away from work with him. Is that so wrong??? I do go out to eat with the hubby occassionally and we spend quality time together on the weekend after the babe is asleep at night and during nap time. I take time for me when I start to feel stressed out at home. Maybe I am overprotective. All I know is I love my babe and I just want what is best for him!

A comparison and a cause of stress

Yesterday afternoon was filled with doctors appointments. One for me and one for the babe. I went for my yearly fun visit with the ob/gyn. Everything was great, bp, heart rate, hemoglobin... I also got a prescription for the new birthcontrol pill that gives you lighter, shorter periods. The only thing better than that is no perios at all and since that ain't happening, I will go for the shorter, lighter ones. I also got a prescription for my happy pills. I haven't gotten it filled yet, but I will be this weekend. I know I am ready to go back on them, I have done well without them for the most part, but all of those crazy thoughts are creeping back in and I HAVE TO KEEP THEM AWAY, and also the stress is really getting to me! Hopefully it won't take long for me to be able to notice a difference, even though I think it is too late for this month's PMS. Sorry hubby!

The babe also had his 1 year check-up. He was perfectly healthy, even though he has a snotty nose. His stats:
22 lbs 13 ozs
30 3/4 inches tall
18 15/16 inch head (he takes after my hubby)
Lets look back to his stats when he was born:
8lb 9 ozs.
21 inches
14 inch head

WOW he has really grown. He had to get 2 immunization shots and I also opted for him to get the flu shot. He has to get it in 2 parts, so next month he gets the second part. I think the shots get worse as they get older. He SCREAMED his head off from the first needle prick until she was done and then he howled some more for good measure. As soon as we got in the car he went to sleep and slept for an hour and a half. He was a little cranky this morning and just wanted to be held, so I held him. I called and checked on him a little while ago and he was awake, but just kindof laying around. I hate when he doesn't feel good, but he can just be so snuggly! I can't wait to go see him at lunch and snuggle him up!

Anyway on to other things. I am MAJORLY stressed at work. My boss is having back surgery tomorrow morning. That may not seem like a big deal to most people, but hello, I work for a VERY SMALL company and he does ALL of the banking, check writing, payroll, accounts payable type of stuff. So guess who gets to do all of those things until he comes back? Do you give up? Still guessing? Yeah if you guessed me then you win a prize. Give yourself a pat on the back. I have not had to do payroll or accounts payable in 6 years and even then we had a staff accountant that double checked everthing and told me how much money to pay the vendors and such. This surgery is a very sudden thing, so I have had a crash course in everything. I am so not ready for this. I am scared. What if I screw something up. It is WAAAAYYYYY more than I want to be responsible for. I will be the boss, the head honcho, the big kahuna and honestly I don't want the responsibility. I am the only one here who can do it, so I have stepped up to the plate. Tomorrow I will be the boss. (You see why I really need my happy pills?)

I am also terrified that something is going to happen to my boss. I love him, no not like that. But you know like an uncle or something. I have been here 6 years and we have a pretty close knit group of people. There are only 9 of us, when everyone is here. I worked in the OR for a little while in college and I know from the professional's side the risks of being put to sleep. Then what if something goes wrong with the surgery and he is paralyzed or dies. OH DEAR GOD! I have been crying about it this morning, I am more worried than he is. He said that if it is his time to go then there is nothing anyone can do about it. He said he is at peace about it. He has much stronger faith than I do. WHAT IF SOMETHING HAPPENS TO HIM? What happens to us? I know that is selfish, but this place pays my house payment and puts food on my table. Oh the stress of it all. Also it is going to be mighty lonely around here without him while he is out with his surgery. He is always walking around here singing or making jokes. I will be talking to him daily though and seeing him often if anything needs his signature. I am glad that he lives close to the office. Just keep him in your prayers during this surgery and please pray for me as I take on these added responsibilites.

Guilt trippin'

I call my Granny (my mom's mother) every Tuesday on my way home from work. I have done this for YEARS. Sometimes depending on cell minutes left for the month or things that keep me out late after work I may have to call her on a day other than Tuesday or a little earlier, but anyway the point is I call her every week. She moved next door to us after my Dad died. She moved there to get out of the rat hole apartment she was living in and to be close to us and help my Mom out with us. I was 8, my sister was 11, my other sister was 16, the oldest sister was grown and moved out by then. We lived out in the country on land that my Granddaddy (my dad's dad) had deeded over to my Dad. We had lots of relatives living on the same road. A good many of my Dad's relatives lived there and still do.

I digress, bear with me. Hubby hates when I tell stories because you never know where we might end up and it might take a while to get there, but I swear it will be worth it, so keep that in mind as you read.

Where was I? Oh yes, my Granny. She is 80, she will be 81 on Christmas day. After she moved next door to us I moved in with her. I had always been close to my Granny, spending every weekend with her and most summers. Anytime I was sick I cried and begged my mom to take me to Granny's. She would give me medicine and bundle me up and put me under LOTS of blankets to sweat out the fever that was making me sick. GOD how I hated that as a child, but I know she did it because she loved me and was worried about me. Her moving next door was my invitation to live with her. She was a strict old lady, but I knew how to work my charm on her and get my way, most of the time. I was always her favorite grandchild! Then I turned into a bratty ass teenager who knew everything and wanted to do what I wanted to do and no old lady was gonna tell me any different. I moved back in with my Mom. Living with Mom meant freedom. My Mom was busy working and living her life to notice a lot of what I did, so that worked for me. I did not get away with everything and I got in trouble sometimes, but not as much as I would have with Granny.

Then I grew up and got married (the first time) and still Granny lived next door. She was the nosy neighbor shouting that your music was too loud or to shut your damn dogs up, they were getting on her nerves. She was also the loving Granny that she had always been, cooking something and bringing it over for you to eat. Looking after us when we were sick. Babysitting the kids for my sisters. Being there when they got off the bus and giving them a snack. She was just always there.

A couple of months ago my Mom decided that it was time for Granny to go into a nursing home. Granny has been losing her sight now for quite a while, she has macular degeneration. She can see some things, but not well enough to read or write. She has also gotten very forgetful in her older age. In her old age she has also gotten meaner and she will say ugly things to you and then not remember it later. She has not been able to drive for about 5 years now, which is a good thing since she can't see and all. Before all of this happened my Granny was on the go. She went to church everytime the doors were open. She went to the store, to visit friends and family, where ever she wanted to go she went. Since she stopped driving she has been stuck at home. We would all take her places sometimes, the store, church, etc. We moved 3 years ago, so she was not our neighbor anymore. It also meant that I was not there to sit and listen to her stories that I had heard 50 times already or to take her anywhere. I moved 45 minutes away.

My mom was still next door, but she has NO PATIENCE for Granny, her own mother. Mom would make sure that she got to church and her doctors appointments, but that was about where the going ended for Grannyand my mom. Mom works about 20 minutes from her home and once she would get home from work she did not want to take Granny back to town the 20 minutes or so it would take for her to get to the store. Mom started buying Granny's groceries and getting Granny's prescriptions filled so she would not have to endure shopping with the old lady. Shopping with someone who can't see is no fun, but still, my mom has no patience to even pretend like she enjoyed it. Things got pretty ugly in their relationship and the more Granny would forget things and be ugly about stuff, the more mom would want to put her somewhere. No matter what Mom did for Granny, it was never enough and it was always wrong!

After Mom decided to put Granny in a nursing home, Granny called everyone that she could think of to tell them of this injustice and beg them to come and save her from my EVIL mother. Her sister's kids came and got her and took her off to their merry little land about an hour or so from here. She has 2 sisters left and they both live there. One has alzheimers and has lost a foot due to bad circulation. That is the one that Granny is living with. Aunt S lives with her son, who works at the hospital at night and her daughter and son-in-law live next door. Aunt S had about 13 kids, so the ones that are still around and are able to help look after Aunt S and so far they are able to keep her at home.

When my Granny moved it really pissed me off. I vowed that I would NEVER go see her or take my son to see her as long as she was living down there. We all thought that she would be home in a month or so. Well she has been gone since June, I think, she has made it longer than anyone imagined. I miss her and I know she misses me, she tells me every Tuesday. So while I was talking to her yesterday she told me that she knew that she was not important enough for me to go and see her and that my mom never calls her because she does not love her. AAAHHHH the guilt! I don't want to have to go to Aunt S house to see her, depending on who is there, they smoke in the house and I just don't want my child around all that smoke. I don't want to have to smile and pretend to like those people that should have BUTTED THE HELL OUT OF OUR LIVES and let mom put Granny in the nursing home. If she was in the nursing home she would be about 10 minutes from my work and I could go and visit her in the afternoons and take the babe to see her, but NO, she had to go and move in with Aunt S. Anyway, I guess I will call my mom and plead with her to call Granny and just pretend that she loves her and cares about her. Then I guess I will plan a day trip to go and see her even though I really don't want to have to go THERE to see her. She reminds me quite often that she won't be here forever and I know I will regret it if I don't go see her. DAMN YOU GUILT!

Commenting

Do you always comment on every blog that you read? Do you visit people that comment on your blog? Is there a certain commenting etiquette for commenting? I am just wondering. I have some blogs that I read that are the "popular" kids and I don't normally comment on them because it isn't like they would notice anyway. There are other sites that I read religiously and I comment on them every time I read them. If I miss a post I normally go back and read it and comment on it too. However if I disagree with your opinion on something, rather than get into a HUGE online disagreement with you and risk our "friendship", I just remain silent and do not comment or I comment on something other than the thing that I disagree with. I don't like conflict, so I try to avoid it if I can.

Anyway when I was reading through my few comments on my last post I had a comment from someone that I did not recognize, so I checked him out. Okay he has like more than 200 comments on his last post and he read my blog? Not only did he read my blog, but he took the time to leave a comment. The post he read is horrible, it was my lame excuse for a Friday post, but he still took the time to leave a comment. I feel honored, just as I do everyday to see my comments from my regular readers. I guess we all like to be noticed. Anyway, if you read me, but don't comment, PLEASE at least comment just to say hello and let me know that you read me. Have a Happy Monday!

Do you want to meet a man?

For any single readers, I think I have figured out how you can meet a man. You have to go where the men are. If you live anywhere in middle Georgia it would be the new Bass Pro Shop. I had to go there the other day to get a gift certificate for my boss and let me tell you, I was the only woman dressed in a skirt and heels! The place oozes testosterone. It was packed with all kinds of men! I could not believe that at 2 in the afternoon on a Wednesday there were so many men at a sporting goods place. If I was a single gal, I would put on my cutest outfit and some lipstick and just hang out there.

I know this is a kind of lame post for Friday, so I will add some pics. Things are KARAZEY here at work. I will post more about that next week maybe. Have a good weekend!

Fall in the south

Just when you have packed away all the short sleeved shirts and sandals, you get 80 degree weather. That's right folks, today the high will be in the upper 70s tomorrow and Saturday the forecast is 80! Is it not November 9th? Hello, the summer is gone. No wonder eveyone here is getting pnuemonia! Tired of all the cold weather, move south, all the birds do.

I've been tagged...

I have been tagged by 2 different people this week. Boy am I popular or what? WHOOHOO! Here goes one. I am working on the other one, so be patient.

1. Explain what ended your last relationship.
The lies, all the lies.

2. When was the last time you shaved?
My underarms, yesterday. My legs, sometime last week, I think it may be time to shave them again.

3. What were you doing this morning at 8 a.m.?
Dropping the babe off at my MILs.

4. What were you doing 15 minutes ago?
Working, can you believe that?

5. Are you any good at math?
If I have a calculator or an adding machine I can be quite accurate!

6. Your prom night?
Junior year, I was 1st runner up for prom queen and went with a wonderful guy and had a blast. Senior year, I was dating my ex-hubby, but we still had fun. I wore the same color dress both years!

7. Do you have any famous ancestors?
It depends on who you ask in my family. Supposedly I am kin to Andrew Jackson??? Who knows for sure?

8. Have you had to take a loan out for school?
No, I was fortunate enough to have financial aid and a really good job at the time.

9. Do you know the words to the song on your Myspace profile?
Do I have a Myspace profile? I don't think so...

10. Last thing received in the mail?
Birthday cards for the babe.

11. How many different beverages have you had today?
2, coffee on my way to work and water.

12. Do you ever leave messages on people's answering machine?
Yes, nearly everyday.

13. Whom did you lose your CONCERT virginity to?
I have never been to a Rock concert, sad isn't it? I guess the first concert that I really remember going to was Reba McIntyre.

14. Do you draw your name in the sand when you go to the beach?
Yes and I draw in the sand too. I need to go to the beach soon!

15. What was the most painful dental procedure you have had?
4 wisdom teeth cut out at the same time! OUCH!

16. What is out your back door?
Our deck and our two outside dogs.

17. Any plans for Friday night?
Dinner with my hubby and kids.

18. Do you like what the ocean does to your hair?
I have not been in so long that I wouldn't know.

19. Have you ever received one of those big tins of 3 different popcorns?
Yes, the caramel is my favorite!

20. Have you ever been to a planetarium?
When I was in middle school.

21. Do you re-use towels after you shower?
Yes it cuts down on the amount of laundry that I don't have time to do.

22. Some things you are excited about?
Getting off work early today and taking the babe to get his 1 year pics taken. The upcoming holidays.

23. What is your favorite flavor of JELLO?
Strawberry and Peach, can I have two favorites?

24. Describe your keychain(s).
A silver heart locket with a pink breast cancer ribbon in rhinestones.

25. Where do you keep your change?
In my wallet or the little change thing in my car.

26. What kind of winter coat do you own?
I live in Georgia, we don't have what most people consider a winter! My "winter" coat is a black leather coat with red lining.

27. What was the weather like on your graduation day?
Sunny and beautiful.

28. Do you sleep with the door to your room open or closed?
Open, I hate sleeping with the door closed!

**Okay so, hope you enjoyed that. I am not going to tag anyone, but if you want to do this, leave it in my comments so that I can check out your answers!

Happy 1st Birthday Little One

To my sweet little baby boy,

It is hard to believe that it has been a year since I first laid eyes on your sweet face. So much has happened in that year. You have learned so many things. You have taught me so many things.

When I was pregnant with you Sissy would ask me what I thought you would look like and for the life of me I could not imagine your face. I tried, but I just couldn’t come up with anything. I would sit and daydream about you. I would imagine all the things that we would do together. I would try to imagine what it would be like to hold you in my arms, to rock you to sleep, to sing lullabies to you. None of my daydreams prepared me for the awe that I would feel when I heard you cry for the first time, or the overwhelming love that I would feel for you the first time that I saw you and held you in my arms. You were and still are the most beautiful thing that I have ever seen in my life. My love for you grows deeper every day, if that is even possible. I never in my life imagined that I could love someone the way that I love you. You are my heart and my joy, the light of my life. I have found a joy like no other since you have been born.

With that love has also come heartache. My heart aches because you are growing so fast. I long for the days of my tiny baby that would snuggle in close to me and just be happy to be held. I also delight in the new things that you have learned and the little person that you are becoming. Everyday with you is an adventure.

I also have guilt. How can a parent not have some guilt? There is no way to be perfect in everything that we do. I just hope you are able to look beyond our imperfections and love us anyway. I will always do right by you, of that you can be assured.

You are such a perfect child. I could not have asked for a better child. I know my life has been truly blessed by you. The way that you hug me when you see me after I have been at work or after you have been asleep just melts my heart. Don’t get me wrong you also have a not so perfect side, and there are times that I find myself praying for the strength to deal with your tantrums and whiny-ness. Somehow the strength is always there.

There are many times when you are sleeping in my arms at night that I just hold you close and put my nose up to your head and just inhale you. I just look at you in the little bit of light in your nursery and I try to memorize everything about you because tomorrow it will be a new day and you will be a little bit different. Then I pray. I always start out by thanking God for you and the many blessings that he has bestowed on me. Then I kiss you on the head or on the cheek and put you in your crib. You snuggle down with your blankie and I just stand there in awe of you, much like the day you were born.

My birthday wish for you is that you are always able to find happiness. Sometimes we don’t get the things in this life that we want, but being able to be happy with what you have is truly a blessing. I wish that for you. So many other things that I wish for you… I wish a life of laughter, wellness, wealth, true happiness.

Happy first birthday to the light of my life. I will always love you!

Love,
Mommy

Drying up

Well the babe is weaned. It is official. He has not had the booby since Thursday night at bedtime. It hasn't been easy. Remarkably he has been fine with it, it is me that has the problem. I have cried more than once this weekend about the fact that he will not nurse again. I don't think my boobs are completely dried up yet but they are almost. I am scared that when the milk is gone then he will want it and I will not be able to provide him with it. At times it has been hard for me not to breastfeed him. Honestly he has done wonderful without it. We have started a new bedtime routine which he really seems to enjoy. It includes cuddling and reading bedtime stories in the rocking chair. I still manage to have lots of snuggly time with him, so we won't be missing out on our close time. He is just growing so fast, I miss my baby. I am enjoying his new found independence too and the toddler (gasp!) that he is becoming. It is all so bittersweet, this whole parenting thing.

His party was wonderful. I think he had a good time. We had a really good day leading up to the party too. We had a few errands to run in the morning, so after he woke up around 8 we got dressed and headed out. I took him to Waffle House for breakfast and everyone there just talked to us and commented on how adorable he is. This very nice older couple sat at the table next to ours and talked to us almost the whole time they were there. They asked how old he was and of course I told them that he would be 1 on Tuesday. Before they left they gave him 5 dollars. SWEET! Since we moved to his unfriendly town 3 years ago we have barely had anyone speak to us, much less have a conversation with us that ended in a gift for our child. It renewed my faith in the kindness of strangers. Maybe there is hope for us to make some friends in this town after all. After breakfast we went to the evil Wal mart to get some wrapping paper and last minute party stuff. The babe picked out some Tonka truck and Sesame street wrapping paper and some bows. We also got 2 mylar ballons while we were out. He loved them! I put them in the backseat with him and he had a ball playing with them. After we got home and he took a nap, I got his gifts wrapped and got myself ready and the car loaded.

Fast forward to party time. The house was decorated for a party and the babe loved it! He wanted his cake, which turned out to be cute after all. We had extra relatives there, which turned out to be nice. They live in Tennesse and usually only come down about 1 time a year. They have 2 little boys and the babe so enjoyed having little ones closer to his age to play with. He followed them around like he was a big boy. He spoke to them in his own little language. We need to find him some friends! When it was time for cake, I stripped his nice birthday outfit off of him and put him in the booster seat at the table. We lit his candle and sang the happy birthday song to him and I sat his little cake down in front of him. He took 2 fingers and sort of poked at the cake and he got frosting on his fingers. Well he does not like anything gooey on his fingers he started shaking his hands and trying to get it off. I got him a spoon and fed him a bite of his cake and he liked it. I was determined that he was going to play in it and get it all over his face so I stuck my finger in the frosting and swiped it on his cheek. He started GAGGING! Yeah, so that was the end of the cake part of the party. No pictures with cake all over his face. No real mess to clean up! I don't have a lot of pics yet. We took some with the real camera so I have to wait until I take up the rest of the roll and then I will post them. We did video the whole thing, so I have proof that cake on his face made him gag!

His sissy and cousins helped him open his presents and he loved them. He still does not quite get the idea of ripping open the paper. Maybe by Christmas he will have it figured out. He got some really cute clothes and a new coat. He got LOTS of toys that make LOTS of noise. He got the animal train thing from Fisher Price, I think. He also got the baby Pooh that rides on the turtle's back. Hubby's aunt got him a duck that sings "If your happy and you know it". In one part of the song the duck jumps up and down and the babe LOVES it. He thinks it is hilarious. That was the first thing he went for Saturday morning. He got too much other stuff to name, but he has played with it all and he likes all of the toys. He has another party the weekend after Thanksgiving and he will get more stuff then. We are running out of room in the house for all of his stuff!

Tomorrow is the big day. My son will be 1. We have all survived a year! I cannot belive that one year ago I had never seen his face and now my life revolves around him. Amazing...truly amazing!

Milestone mania

Over the past few weeks the babe has started doing some things that he has never done before. Yes he has had a few firsts lately. Last Friday he took his first 3 steps. It was so cute, no I did not capture it on video, but I will get some video of him walking soon enough. I was glad that he did it on Friday because our daughter was there and she got to see it. It is hard on her sometimes because she does not live with us and she does not see her brother everyday so she misses out on some of his firsts. The first steps were awesome, but no music played and he did it and then it was over and he would not take another step. He will take a step every now and then, but 3 steps in a row! That was big. Today at lunch he took a few steps to me at my MILs house. I don't think I am ready for walking, yet.

He is also trying to feed himself finger foods. I know everyone else's kid has been doing this since they were 6 months old, but for some reason he just could not get the pincer grasp thing and once he would get the food in his hand he could not get it to his mouth. He has been feeding us for quite sometime, but he has not been able to feed himself. For the past week he has been feeding himself the Gerber Fruit Puffs. He puts one in each hand and then puts them in his mouth. It is the cutest thing.

He also babbles constantly, although he does not say anything that even sounds remotely like a word, except for huh. When he is playing and you call his name he will look at you and say HUH? He still says Mama and ada for Daddy, but he does not say it with any meaning. He doesn't look at me and say Mama. Sometimes he can hear his daddy in the next room and he will start babbling adadadadadadada. So maybe he does know what he is saying. Most days I feel like we need a translator. When he is eating he will point and make noises to let you know what he wants to eat or drink. His favorite foods are chicken (all meat is chicken), pasta (especially mac 'n cheese) and most fruits. He likes some veggies. I made vegetable soup a week or so ago and he LOVED it. I hope he will always like his veggies.

He is almost completely weaned. I may have mentioned this earlier in the week but we cut out the morning feeding this week and he has done alright without it. This weekend we will try to cut out the bedtime feeding and then he will be officially weaned. I am a little sad, but enjoying my newfound freedom. As long as he is happy, so am I.

I will not be posting again until Monday and I hope I will have pics from the party. Have a good weekend.

So much to do, so little time

Is Friday really just 2 days away? I have so much to do before the babe's first birthday party and I don't think that there is anyway that I can get it all done. I am trying to make myself a list and add to it when I remember something else that needs to be done. We thought about canceling the party, but everyone has assured me that we should still have it. Hubby's great-uncle who was 99 died on Monday and the funeral is Friday morning. Grandpa is still in the hospital and the family is taking turns spending time at the hospital so that he is never alone. I just figured with those things going on a birthday party for a (nearly) one year old may not be a good idea. MIL has assured me that they still want to have it. There are even some extra relatives here from out of town, so there may be a few more guests. More guests=more gifts! More guests also = more party stuff and more food. MIL is cooking a nice soup/chili recipe that she makes and I guess I will pick up a couple of bags of chips and some dip.

Tonight after work I have to go to Publix and look at my choices for a store bought birthday cake, which I am still upset about. Hopefully they will have something cute. We are going with a jungle animal theme. I have tried to put a picture of the decorations in this post, but blogger will not cooperate with me, so screw you blogger. I will try to add it later.

I also have not bought any wrapping paper or gift bags or a birthday card. I have not wrapped any gifts. I still have to get streamers and balloons and some extra plates and napkins, just in case said extra family is there for the party. I need to get hubby to make some tea, so our nice party guests will have something to drink. Yes you read that correctly, hubby makes wonderful tea. My tea just tastes like dirty water with sugar, so I will let him do the honors.

I also wanted to put together a video for everyone to watch at his party, but do you think I have had time to do that? So, I did sit down the other night after he was asleep and put pictures in a picture album in order from his first pics in the hospital to his most recent ones. So everyone can look at those. A video would have been better though! There is always next year. Maybe if I get started on it now I would have it done by then!

Friday I am off work! So I will have all day to run around like a crazy woman with a (nearly) one year old and get all of this stuff done. I also have to pick up store bought birthday cake and ice cream and daughter early so that she can help me entertain the babe and decorate my MIL and SILs house for the party. I hope they have time between now and then to clean up the house, if not I too will have to do that Friday. I know I should clean it up since they are nice enough to let us have it there, but it would really help me out if they would do it. I'm just saying. Anyway I am stressed out and that is precisely why we are not having a BIG birthday party.

Happy Halloween

No rest for the weary

Happy Monday, the day before Halloween! I spent this weekend trying to get everything done. I won't bore you with all the details. Grandfather is doing better. He was moved from ICU to a regular room yesterday, so hopefully he will be able to come home on the next day or so.

My sister is still in jail. My mom went to see her Saturday and take her some things. My mom said she was pitiful and making all sorts of promises to change and do better. She begged my mom to get her out, but my mom is trying the tough love approach and she left her there. I know that had to be hard. I am so proud of my mom. My mom told her that we all love her and we just want her to be a part of our family again and to get herself together. She pleaded with my mom to please get her out so she can spend Thanksgiving with her family. I am pretty sure that my mom will get her out soon, at least by then, unless of course she goes to trial before then and she gets sentenced to more jail time. Things in the legal system are usually slow and tend to drag on, so she will probably be home for the holidays. I hope this is the eye opening experience that my sister needs to get it together. I miss her being in my life.

Speaking of legal system, I have been selected for Jury Duty! I am a little excited, I have never been selected for jury duty. I probably will not be picked to serve, but still it is exciting to me. Everyone thinks I am crazy, oh well, what's new? It isn't until December, so I will definately let you know what happens.

If you have a cough or minor throat irritation Ricola is awesome. I just got the original, and they really seem to help. I hate cough drops, but these aren't bad.

The babe's first birthday is next Tuesday! I cannot believe that he will be one! Anyway of course with birthdays you have to have a party. I have opted for a small family party. He really
hates crowds of people and I felt that he would enjoy it more if it were a smaller event. We are having 2 parties actually, one for my family and one for my hubby's family. Hubby's family's party is this Friday night at my MIL's. We are having dinner and then cake and presents. I am a little disappointed now because the lady that we were going to get to make his birthday cake can't because she is going out of town. Honestly, I am so disappointed that I cried when I found out. She makes the BEST cakes ever and that means now that his cake will have to come from Publix. I like Publix cakes too, but they are nothing compared to this lady's cakes. My family's party will be the weekend after Thanksgiving, when we all get together for Thanksgiving. I thought that would be easier on all of them since we will all be together anyway. So no big fancy birthday party with clowns or big bouncy things or fireworks, just somthing small and simple.

The time change this weekend has my babe waking up at 5 and 5:30 instead of 6 or 6:30. I hope he gets used to the change soon. Good news about him waking up that early is that I just go and get him and snuggle with him in our bed until he goes back to sleep. I love to snuggle with him!We are still weaning, we have cut out all breastfeeding except the night time one. It really has been smooth, much better than I imagined. He loves milk in his sippy cup, so as long as he is happy, so am I.

Now a picture of my sleeping babe after he went back to sleep in our bed this morning. He was snoring! The lighting is really bad, but you can still see him snoozing.

Friday Funk

I am in a funk today. It is gray and rainy today and I want to be curled up on my sofa sleeping the day away like I did on Wednesday. Unfortunately I have to be at work today so that ain't gonna happen. Anyway I have so much going on that it is just dizzying.

I started coughing and getting a little sore throat last Friday, a week ago. I still feel like crap today. I cough so hard at night I nearly throw up. I have taken so much medicine in the past week, I am amazed that I can keep my eyes open. The babe also has a minor cough and runny nose, but nothing like me. The stuff in my chest is finally breaking up and is starting to come up when I cough. Lovely, should I go on describing it? Okay, I will stop there, just know that I have not felt good all week, nor have I slept good. I have even resorted to taking the babe's Tylenol with Codeine at night because it knocks me out and I don't care if I cough.

On my way to work yesterday, my SIL called to tell me that MIL was taking her father (Hubby's Grandfather) to the hospital. He was spitting up blood and could not breathe. I was still about 10 minutes away, so by the time I got there they were calling an ambulance to come and get him. MIL is my babysitter, so I was kind of screwed. SIL stayed at home from work for a little while until MIL got back from the hospital. MIL was just going to bring the babe to me at work at 1:30 and I would just keep him at the office until time to go home. My boss is out of town, so this would have been okay. I received a phone call from my SIL a little before 1 that the doctors said they did not think that Grandfather was going to make it and I needed to come and get the babe NOW so they could get to the hospital. I immediately started crying and rushed out the door to get the babe. Grandfather has pneumonia, he is 88 and he has lung problems among other ailments, such as heart problems. Anyway his oxygen level was non-existent and it just wasn't looking good. So my afternoon consisted of me trying to keep the babe from unplugging all the electronic stuff in my office. Trying to keep him from typing on my keyboard. Trying to keep him from crying when I had to talk on the phone. Trying to get him to go to sleep already, you are so ill because you are tired, just close your eyes already. Trying to do all of this without the help of the Wiggles, or Blues Clues, or Barney or any toys to distract his attention. I was fried by the time work was over! As soon as we got in the car, he went to sleep!

I called my Mom yesterday because I thought something must be wrong because I had not heard from her. My sister has been arrested. I am not going into detail here now. This is a story that deserves its own post. Maybe one day I will sit down and write it. Just know that I think it is a good thing, possibly an answer to many, many prayers. God works in mysteroius ways. I have that on my mind though, even if it is a good thing, it isn't an easy thing to think about.

This morning, after a long night of coughing and then just when I would get back to sleep the babe would be up crying. Hello, why are you awake, you sleep through the night now, go back to sleep, I had to get ready for work. I had not heard from any of my in-laws to know what to do with the babe today. So I prepared for the worst, 8 hours at the office with me! I put the pack 'n play and TONS of toys as well as food and milk in the car and drove on in to the office. About 30 minutes after I got here MIL called and asked if I was brining him this morning. Well I explained to her that I had not heard from her and I knew that she spent the night at the hospital so I did not know if she felt like keeping the babe or not. She immediately came to pick him up and here I am in my nice quiet office ALONE! He might have to come back this afternoon, but I can deal with that.

Grandfather made it through the night. They have managed to get his Oxygen levels back up, so it is just wait and see now. Please keep us all in your prayers, we all need it.

Fall memories

Our first cold snap is here and it has been nice wearing warm clothes and not sweating all the time. The change in the weather means drinking more hot chocolate and hot teas and coffee. It bring back memories of my childhood spent in our too small farm house that lacked proper insulation. Just let me tell you if it was 30 degrees outside, it felt even colder inside. We had small gas heaters in each room and a fireplace in the living room to help keep us warm. My dad always kept a roaring fire buring. It would be so warm in there sometimes that we would have to open the front door to keep the heat from suffocating us. Everytime I smell a woodburning fireplace I am instantly transformed to those roaring fires from my childhood.

My dad had his many shortcomings as a father and husband, but he played with us and let us do many things to him that other people would not let us do. He would play doctor with us and let us put medical tape on his hairy chest and rip it off. I am sure that it did not feel good, but he did it anyway. He would let us put mom's pink sponge curlers in his hair and leave them there. He would let us paint his toe nails! He would pretend to eat our play doh food that we so lovingly prepared for him. He would let us dip our toast into his coffee and never complain of the crumbs that it left behind. I just hate that I was so young when he died that those few precious memories get a little more faded every year.

Pictures as promised

Squirrels in our yard. They are cute, but they make such a mess.


So many pumpkins, so little time!




















2 hour nap in the car!

Weekend in review

We had a good weekend. Nothing too exciting, but it was nice. We had a busy day Saturday. My day started at 6:15 am. My daughter had to cheer at a 9am football game, so I went ahead and got up and got myself ready so that I could help everyone else get ready and out the door on time. I got everyone up and dressed and were there on time! The babe went to sleep during the game, so he was easy to deal with. Hubby had to get a haircut and so our daughter went with him. The babe and I had to go to the bank and then to Toys 'r' us. They were having a great sale. Their Little Tykes stuff was buy one get one free! With Christmas and birthdays coming up I could not miss out on this one. I went and bought one thing and got one free and got a couple of things that were on clearance for the kids for Christmas. As I was pushing the babe out to the car in the cart he turned and tried to stand up and jammed his foot down into the side of the cart and began to scream. All these things kept going through my head as I tried to unjam his foot from the cart. I was able to get him free without having to call the fire department to bring the jaws of life.

Then after lunch we went to the Pumpkin Patch to get the perfect pumpkin to carve. This is the babe's first halloween and he really loves pumpkins. Anything with a pumpkin on it excites him. So you can imagine his delight at the pumpkin patch. I took pics, but left my memory card at home this morning so check back tomorrow for pics of the babe and the pumpkins. He played with some of the BIG pumpkins, but then we took him to the area with the baby pumpkins and he was in heaven. He took several of them and played with them. We sat him in the middle of a pallet with LOTS of baby pumpkins and he just loved it. They also had some of those wooden cut-outs that you put your head in and have your picture taken and we took pics of the kids with their head in them. We found the perfect pumpkin to carve and the kids each got to pick out a baby pumpkin.

On the way home the babe went to sleep in the carseat and slept for 2 hours, in the car! I parked in the shade next to our backdoor and I left him buckled in and left the doors open on the car and I sat in the swing and read a magazine and started supper and just relaxed while he slept. Hubby took our daughter to play tennis at the local recreation center and I had a nice, quiet couple of hours to myself, something I rarely get!

Saturday night we got out our home movies. We have not watched them since we videoed them. The tapes start last year while I was still pregnant. Let me just tell you that I was HUMONGOUS! I was huge. Everything about me looked fat. I really did not look happy. Then there was the day that the babe was born, me before we left for the hospital and then after the babe was born. He was so little. I cannot believe how much he has grown. He enjoyed watching the videos too. There was video of him scooting backwards on the floor before he could crawl and of him sitting in his bouncy/rocking seat watching TV and the Christmas tree. His arms and legs were just going crazy. I had forgotten how active he was even at just 6 weeks old! No wonder he is so active now.

Sunday was mostly spent at home. We played and just hung out. I cleaned off the deck and patio and bagged up some leaves and pinestraw. Then hubby asked if I wanted to use the blower to blow off the remaing stuff. Yeah I would love to use the blower. So he got it ready and handed it off to me and I gave the backyard a good blowjob! It looks so much better. I have never used the blower before and after I was done I could not feel my hands and they were very swolen. Let me just say that blowing is not something that I would want to do everyday!

Something I did not do this weekend was go to my sister's for my family's get together for the October birthdays. When they told me when it would be I asked if we could change it to Sunday because we had a lot to do on Saturday and Sunday would really work better for us. Well apparently my sister did not want to change it, so we just did not go. If she lived a little closer we might have gone for an hour or so, but it is an hours drive to her house and then another hour back home and then you have to stay and visit for an hour or so and honestly we just had too much to do at the time that they planned the party. I have mailed my neices and sister their birthday cards and apologized for not being able to come to the party, but it just did not work out. Was I wrong to not go? Should I rearrange my life and my plans to suit them? Anytime I plan anything I try to keep everyone else in mind. They just expect me to drop everything and be at whatever they plan, whether or not it is convenient.

Should you worry about a panda attack?

Apparently Pandas are very dangerous animals. Who would've imagined it? They look so sweet and innocent. Check out this story:

http://www.boston.com/news/odd/articles/2006/10/19/panda_bites_off_part_of_womans_thumb/

Be careful next time you go to the zoo!

Drowning

Have you ever been in a situation that you just can't seem to get out of, no matter how hard you try to dig yourself out if it, it only gets worse. I am there now. It's financial, of course. I try not to post too much about money, but lately that is all that I can think (worry) about. The cost of having a baby has been far greater that I imagined and without getting raises or any extra money from anywhere to cover the differences it has really taken its toll on our finances. We are broke. There is no money in a savings account for a rainy day. There is no rich relative on their death bed. There are no raises in our immediate future. There is however both kids birthdays, Christmas, property taxes, etc. on the horizon. We have already bought some Christmas and birthday stuff for the babe, but we have gotten the daughter very little so far. She is older now and it is increasingly expensive to buy nice things for her. It also makes it harder to buy for her because her mom and step-dad are made out of money and they spare no expense when buying stuff for her, so we feel that we have to try to keep in line with them. I am sure that hubby and I won't be getting each other anything for our upcoming anniversary or Christmas and that is fine with me. I can do without as long as my kids are happy.

I cut corners everyway that I can. I stock up on groceries and non-perishables when they are on sale. I try to cook meals that are inexpensive to make and go a long way. I eat a sandwich everyday for lunch at work, rather than eating out. I don't buy myself anything that isn't a necessity. I have let my hair grow out because the monthly haircuts to maintain my short hair were just not affordable anymore. I shop second hand stores for our clothes. Gas is so expensive we certainly don't make any trips that don't have to be made. We don't spend any money that does not have to be spent. Yet we can't get ahead. We did not take a vacation last year, we needed one, but we just didn't have the money to go anywhere. MIL even offered to pay for the place to stay, but we would have to pay for our food and activities and we just didn't have it. I don't like this feeling. I feel like it is smothering me and the stress of it all is really getting to me.

I hate to post such negative things here. I try to be upbeat and positive, but I am drowning and sometimes it is hard to keep a smile on my face. Just please keep us in your prayers as we go through these struggles.

I am a weaner

I started weaning my sweet little angel boy this weekend. I read all about the best and easiest ways to do it and decided on a plan of action. So Sunday I cut out the afternoon feeding. Yesterday when I picked him up after work we did not stay and play and nurse like we usually do at my MIL's. I grabbed his bag and got him out to the car before he could realize that it was time to nurse. MIL has started giving him a snack and some milk about 30 minutes before I get there in the afternoons so maybe he won't miss it too much. He seemed okay yesterday. I am going to try to cut out one feeding a week until he is weaned.

I will miss breastfeeding him so much. I never thought I would say that, but it has been such a bonding experience for us. It was something that only I could do for him. I think the time has come for us to end that part of our relationship though. I have for the past few months become increasingly irritable and stressed out (since the return of my periods). I feel it may be the time to go back on my happy pills, before I go back into that horrible place that I have been in before. My periods are BAD and the mood swings are awful. It is affecting everyone around me at home and work. I can't control the mood swings, but medication can. I know many people take happy pills and continue breastfeeding, but I have some questions that no one has really been able to answer regarding the side effects to my child, so I would prefer to wean him before I start taking any mood altering drugs. Also when I stop breastfeeding I can go back on regular birth control pills and hopefully make my periods lighter and make the cramps not as bad.

I know all of that seems so selfish when I read the reasons. I fear that if I don't do something for my mental health soon it could have bad results for me. I have very little patience lately and it is making me raise my voice more and have some irrational thoughts. I know I can hang in there until we are done with the weaning which should be in about 4 weeks. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel and I just keep reminding myself of it. I have surpassed most people's expectations on breastfeeding anyway. Once he is weaned we will have been breastfeeding for a little more than a year. That in itself is something to be proud of.

I am so glad that it is Friday. I have to go to a friend's son's wedding tomorrow. Hubby isn't going with me, he is gladly keeping the babe. He does not really care for this friend or her family so that works out great. The wedding is about an hour from our house, so I will have like 3 hours to myself tomorrow. I will have some "me" time, even if it is at a wedding. I have not seen my friend in quite some time. We were very close at one point in our lives, but as friendships tend to do, we drifted apart. We went to college together and she was my study buddy. I spent many days at her house studying and just hanging out. She has kids almost as old as I am, but she does not act her age.

**I am not a good friend. I HATE talking on the phone, so if you don't like to email and visit with me in person you will never hear from me. I do occassionally talk on the phone, but not often. I have to talk on the phone as part of my job and I don't want to talk on the phone when I am at home. That is just who I am, my real friends know that and love me anyway.

I did talk to her on the phone today and she updated me on some of the drama in her life then we got interrupted by work and I have not been able to get her back on the phone. I left her a message and told her that I was trying to call her back. Oh well, I will see her tomorrow.

I will also see my best friend tomorrow and I am so excited. She has finally started writing on her blog again. I would link to her, but I don't know how, so if you want to go visit my real life best friend she is BettyCrockerSyndrome in my links. She moved away and left me in this unfriendly town that I live in. She moved to the country, a farm in the middle of nowhere to be exact. It isn't close to anything major and it isn't on the way to anything. She has really surprised me at her ability to adjust to farm life in the middle of nowhere. She is now raising chickens, yes you read me correctly, chickens. As a matter of fact she just had 5 baby chicks hatch yesterday. She emailed me pictures and they are ADORABLE, all cute and fluffy! She will be in town tomorrow so I will get up extra early (like the babe lets me sleep late anyway) to go see her before the wedding. She is the reason that I started a blog. Before she started her blog I had never heard the word before. I am technologically challenged to say the least. Anyway she is an awesome writer and an awesome friend and I am glad that she is back among the bloggers. I missed her! Welcome back girl!

Happy (late) Blog-iversary to me

Oh no I missed my 2nd blog-iversary. It was on October 1. I tell you since I have become a mother I can not remember ANYTHING. It is awful. I no longer send cards or thoughtful little notes, not because I am not thinking about the people, but because I just have so much going on I do not have time anymore. Oh well, forgive me for not sending cards and thoughtful notes. How can you expect me to remember your important dates like birthdays and anniversaries if I can't even remember my own. Anyway Happy blog-iversary to me, even if it is late. If you have time go back and read my first post from October 1, 2004. 2 years, I can't believe that we have been together that long. We have come so far since that first post. Thank you all for reading.